I met Johnny at Top of Tacoma for a pre-match drink. He was wearing his red Arsenal track top and me my claret and white, immediately I thought we could get in trouble for this, until I realized that we were probably going to be around 20 other people at most. That is if the event even went forward.
I had played 5 a side earlier in the day and between the Women’s World Cup final and the constant gray drizzle that is the hallmark of this Summer we had to start with three on three. It was one of those Sundays where people are lauded just for showing up to an outdoor event so the odds were good that Port Vale v. Tacoma Tide would just be called off for lack of interest.
Not only that, the game had been moved from Stadium, the Gothic looking High School perched on the cliffs of Puget Sound which was the setting for 10 Things I Hate About You, to the far less famous Curtis High School.
“Curtis High School? Where’s that?”
“Near the Trader Joes in University Place.”
“OH OK.”
Curtis High School is set on what seems like a huge tract of land. There are full baseball diamonds, there’s a stadium with a covered stand, and there’s even a grass practice field with someone’s name on it that I mistook for the actual match field. As it turns out, the match field was not grass, it was plastic. No surprise there since all variations of football in America is almost exclusively played on turf these days.
“What’s your name?” I asked and stuck my right hand out.
“Brian,” he said reluctantly taking my offer. He’s short, that’s all I can think. I mean, I’m no giant, but this guy is short. He’s describing what it felt like to slide tackle on astroturf and all I can think is how short and Roman he looks despite being English.
It doesn’t help that the guy Brian is standing next to is a giant Scottsman who is a representative from the Victoria Highlanders. The Scottsman’s face is warm and when he smiles you feel like everything’s going to be OK, but when the Roman smiles it’s because he told a joke he thought was clever but it was really just something at your expense. His smile makes you feel dirty.
He claims to be a football agent. I look at his clothes. Maybe. Now he’s talking about astroturf and bringing American turf technology back to England. What the fuck is he talking about? He’s claiming that he set this whole game up between the Tide and the Valiants (Port Vale’s nickname) in order to help sell turf in England as practice pitches for League Two teams.
That makes no sense but then again none of this makes any sense. What other reason could there be for a League Two team from the West Midlands to play a developmental team from Tacoma? They certainly didn’t come here for the weather. And judging by the tens of people in the stands who all paid the princely sum of $10 to see this match, I’m guessing that gate receipts won’t even pay the player’s salaries.
Like Chinatown I expect Brian to lean over to me and say, “It’s all about the water, Tim. No, wait, I mean turf. The turf.”
I excuse myself and tell him I’m going back to my seat and “enjoy” the game.
“Yeah. You go enjoy the game” he says, shaking his head up and down and making a sarcasm face. I look down at the top of his head, whispy little hairs poke out all over, but at least he doesn’t try to cover up his baldness. He’s just bad at shaving.
Gervinho on the other hand, brother, you aren’t fooling anyone. Cut those things off, please. As I walk back to my seat I wonder if Brian is his agent too? He did name drop Kerrea Gilbert.
I’m still fuzzy why Arsenal do these video shoots like the one linked above. Sure if it was someone like Arshavin that makes sense. Andrei was a marquee signing at a time when the club needed a boost. But Gervinho is not going to cure the malaise that has set in with Arsenal supporters since last Spring.
I’m guessing the club just want people to know that they are doing stuff: “look we paid good money for someone in the transfer market!” is the message I’m getting. Unfortunately, Gervinhos’ first full interview is in French and nothing will get the folks who want Gary Cahill excited like two interpreters interviewing each other.
Personally, I don’t care if the player can only communicate through grunts and groans. My only concern is whether he can play. Let’s stop with the manufactured image creation in the studio and create an image of Arsenal playing kick ass football on the pitch.
I’ve said for a while that I think Arsenal communicate too much. I’ve followed professional sports all my life and I’ve never known as much about the inner workings of a sports team as I do about Arsenal. Strangely, people seem to want more: they want to know Arsenal’s strategic plan, the goals and objectives of the board, how much money they made from the Asian tour, which sponsorships they landed, how much we are paying for Denilson, on and on in a veritable horn of plenty of information.
Somewhere along the line we crossed over from fans to corporate shareholders despite the dual facts that none of us are really shareholders in any meaningful way and we’re not shareholders in the right way. Owning one share of the B stock in Berkshire Hathaway gets you exactly that: one vote out of several thousand. But more oddly, these are stocks we are talking about here, not childhood memories. They are pieces of information that say you paid X pounds for that share and can sell it on the open market for Y price. Are you going to sell Arsenal and buy Man City if reason dictates that to be the sound choice? Are you really a corporate shareholder or are you the guy who buys a share in Harley Davidson so that he has something to frame for his office?
You’ll pardon me if I find it a bit odd that the people who most vociferously complain about Arsenal acting like a business are the same folks who own shares… in that business.
“GET OUT!”
The Port Vale keeper’s voice pierces the silence in the stands. He’s screaming at his defense on every set play that the Tide have. I’ve never heard anything like that from Arsenal. I mean, I’ve seen Lehmann yell at people but I never could hear him when I was at the game or even on television. I’ve even seen Szczesny get all growly and slap his hands together but this keeper is all together another animal.
Port Vale’s first keeper got himself sent off for an Almunia moment in the first half. A long ball over the top put the Tide’s forward in a one v. one and the keeper came flying out of the box I guess to head the ball away. When he realized that he’d timed his jump all wrong and that he wasn’t going to reach the ball with a header, he put both hands up to stop the play.
He’d been pretty quiet the whole much up until then, but this other keeper was commanding which is exactly what people want from the Arsenal defense.
“Why do you have to mention him???” Johnny’s waving a cigarette around angrily. He hates when I mention Squillaci.
“It’s just.. well I can kind of see the logic why Wenger signed him.”
“England is weird in terms of the sheer number of headers that players have to deal with. You look at any team in the Premier League and they all have one or two guys who average something like 10 clearances a game. I’ve poked around in the data and that’s not something you see in other leagues. We saw it today. Port Vale kept pumping long balls forward for their striker. He was all alone and did a great job holding up play, bringing his teammates in, and creating chances from nothing.”
It’s true. The Valiants played a lot of long balls, especially as the game wore on, though that could also be because they were down to 10 men. Whatever the reason, that’s not the point. The point is how easy it was for them to slip seamlessly from passing the ball around the Tide to long balls to a center forward.
“That’s the problem. It’s not natural for Squillaci to deal with a ton of headers. Did you see the way that the Port Vale center forward dealt with every aerial ball? I bet he’s been doing that since he was 5.” I pause.
“Squillaci isn’t crap, or at least he wasn’t crap. You can’t tell me that this guy with all these appearances for France and all the games he’s played in Europe is garbage. It’s just… I don’t know. Maybe it’s not natural for him to deal with all those balls bombing in on him? Not in the same way it was for the Valiants today.”
Huh. Astroturf.
Why would I even ask Brian the question? Why did I need to know why Port Vale was in Tacoma?Why did I know that they were coming? Is this a uniquely Arsenal experience that we need to analyze everything, understand why the club does this or why a player does that? Is Squillaci just naturally poor at headers because he’s French or am I just over analyzing everything?
I don’t know but like Brian, I think the answer is in astroturf.
Tim,
Dude..relax. This is the Internet Age, Remember You Tube’s original slogan before they got swallowed up by Google? “Broadcast Yourself”. That’s what it’s all about. Arsenal supporters passions and opinions become inflamed and amplified when there’s a potential worldwide audience to read your words by virtue of this blog.
Samuel Pepys had his diary…and we have YOU. Live with it.
1NTTA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad%C3%ADlson_Batista
The new coach of San Paulo, the new home of Denilson. Batista has been changing clubs faster than Denilson can say first team football. Good luck, Denilson.
So much for media speculation that Denilson was to be a ‘make weight’ in a Gary Cahill deal.
I wish Denilson good luck and best wishes. He always seemed like this goofy, talented, really sweet kid who could never quite get it together on the pitch somehow. Too bad for us and for him…
1NTTA
I wanted denilson to go but i have to say he showed a bit of class in his comments and definitely earned some respect from me for that. Seemed genuine and emotional and an appreciation for the club, the players and the manager. Nice to hear at a time when ex-players, opposing managers and journalists are all having a pop at arsenal.
And a far cry from gael clichy’s comments.
Nice job, Tim. Good to hear these surreal stories.
Tim, you are missing the logic of the high and long ball! The loser is 75% football savvy and 50% confident of winning, the winner on the other hand is 50% football savvy and 75% confident of winning.
A Master of Business Administration degree is more useful than a statistician degree but neither will put any company into the forefront of innovation. So who took Port Vale to the North West of America and why?
Port Vale FC have an American company as a junior (?) shareholder. Some of the Port Vale fans are NOT amused!
The way this read, I pictured the entire scene at the friendly in black and white with eerie music playing while the camera panned and zoomed in and out on you and “Brian” talking.
I’ve always said that Denilson was a “poor man’s Fabregas. However, he was played out of position as he most definitely does not have the tools to be a DM, especially in the EPL.
Never disliked him as a person as he never complained, just never wanted to see him play DM for Arsenal.
Hopefully he will go to Brazil and resurrect his career playing as a more advanced MF position. Best luck to him and good wishes.
@Caribkid, Your absolutely right, and he said as much himself a couple of years ago, but didn’t complain and said he’d play anywhere for Arsenal. Anyway he might be back next season to frustrate us all over again.
“Poor man’s Fabregas” is actually a very flattering description of Denilson. Fabregas is a playmaking attacking midfielder. Denilson is a midfielder who doesn’t attack and doesn’t make plays.
He’s more of a poor man’s Carrick.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/jul/18/news-of-the-world-sean-hoare
Now bodies start appearing. If you thought this phone hacking thing was no biggie, think again.
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/transfer-news/Arsenal-summer-signings-not-over-chief-exec-Ivan-Gazidis-says-pots-money-to-spend-not-scared-of-big-names-article772487.html
I don’t know how old this interview is but anyone one of us could have given the same answers as Gazidis because we are believers.
@ctpa,
Don’t know about you CTPA, but how does signing Squid last year give us improvement at the CB position. Could also say the same thing for Chamakh. Although not one of my favorites, NB was more productive when given a chance in the center of the pitch.
@Caribkid, Squid was supposed to be a backup CB. And he was a definite improvement over Silvestre.
@Akash, I digress but the interesting about Silvestre was that he was voted by the Arsenal players as one of the most intelligent guys..
@Akash,
Look at the size of his head, if his brain is proportionate in size he must be a genius.
On another note, Albert Einstein couldn’t play football worth a damn
Unrelated but amazing:
Aguero makes 275,000 per week, and in order for him to go to Man City he has to take a pay cut… WHAT?!?!
HE HAS TO TAKE A PAY CUT TO GO TO MAN CITY?!?! A pay CUT?!
This shatters everything I thought I knew.
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/935278/sergio-aguero-fate-decided-this-week?cc=5901
@Pzaz,
Saw that myself and had the same reaction. Plus, the tax rate is higher in England.
@Caribkid, Simply amazing. No wonder no one else has attempted to sign him. His release clause plus his salary make him a prohibitive signing.
Gunnerblog is reporting that the Campbell signing is now on hold until after the U20 WC. If the kid does well then Dad will expect bigger offers to pour in. Cest la vie.
Funny, Tim. I’ve always thought I knew way more about club affairs, from personnel to revenue to player valuation, etc in the US than ever in the UK. I think that’s because we have clear role definition and objective ways to measure AND value performance, because we work at creating a fair playing environment, and our players talk more to the press. Keeping gbling out of it helps.
I mean, here in the US, in football or baseball, someone long ago would have talked about how Denilson was shifted to defense to save the skid a few years ago, did good, and then kept at it whole falling behind in developing as Cesc Lite. It wouldnt be a mystery
JAMES HETFIELD
JAMES HETFIELD SAYS, “It’s all fun and games ’till someone loses an eye, then it’s just fun you can’t see.”
I am so upset, I open the papers and there a picture of Vieira kicking a football around with one of the Man City youth products outside the City of Manchester Stadium. I can’t help thinking he should be part of our backroom or club staff as he is from a now Mythical time and the thing is if he walks in a room he has such arua that players will almost sit up straight at the sight of him. Even if it’s passing on advice to youngsters it would have been invaluable but I am assuming it’s come down to money.
what i simply believe is sheer stupidity on wengers behalf is his refusal to pay players like nasri and cesc salaries of up to 120k a week yet he is happy to pay players like denilson and diaby more than double thier worth. you hear with wengers comments about all players being captains that he believes in a collective effort and eqaulity and sharing the burdon and distributing the wealth across the sqaud. whilst wenger distributes the wealth the burdon is not shared. players like nasri, van persie and cesc carry the team whilst players like denilson and diaby simply go for a ride as they are passengers yet wenger tries to treat the players as eqauls. its a flawed system. its communism/socialism. that failed miserably in the cold war and lead to the collapse of the soviet union. other clubs like united and chelsea pay thier players based on their contribution. work hard, play good – get a pay rise. play poor – no pay rise of even contract extension. this is capitalism. a system that rewards effort and talent and punishes mediocrity and laziness. wenger needs to start governing the sqaud in a capitalist way.
Astroturf is incredibly dangerous to play football on… I’ve seen my fair share of knee ligaments blow out because of it…
@Josip, I ALWAYS wince when people bring those up..Sigh..Should get over it by now I guess.
PHW says there has been no offers for fabrgas.
I then saw a report yesterday that said negoiations were taking place in that Arsenal said to Barcelona you’ve got 2 wks to put up or you, your cronies (the father, brother, mother, home town mayor, man on the moon, man about town, Pique, Xavi, Villa, Alves, etc., etc., etc.)STFU forever.
Now Guardiola says this: http://www.espn.co.uk/football/sport/story/101683.html?CMP=OTC-RSS
All I say is that they better come up with 4 and a lot of zeros because fabregas is not chopped liver.
In other good news, there will be no Joel Campbell signing as the father got greedy.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/soccer/wires/07/19/2080.ap.soc.barcelona.transfers.1st.ld.writethru.0445/index.html
Sanchez is Barcelona’s priority. Fabregas will be bringing up the rear in ‘stacked’ midfield.
PHW in another statement said the offer on the table 26mil and is both old and unacceptable. A lot of public posturing.
@ctpa, In Catalonia, the phrase “still negotiating” can also be translated into English as “just checking to see that your fax line is still open”.
One thing I am not a big fan of regarding Wenger’s management style is his insistence on flexibility and making players play out of position. I know he made Henry the player he is by moving him to ST position , but his experiments are not always successful. Kolo Toure for example I remember was played all over the pitch in his initial years ,finally he was put at defence where he did a good job , not necessarily a great one.Bendtner on the right wing was a disappointment and so was Denilson as other posts have pointed out as a DM. I would personally prefer Nasri to be playing more centrally along with Fabregas and Song/any other good DM. It would be a really good combination.
I think 1-2 utility players are fine but not more than that .
Interesting alleged quotes from Gervinho in the papers this morning. ‘I came to Arsenal to have a chance to work with AW’ & ‘ I think AW can improve my game and move it to the next level’ Nothing about wanting to play for Arsenal, just Wenger. Sounds to me suspiciously like another Adebeyor, looking to use our club as a stepping stone to RM, Barca, Utd, City or Milan, where the big bucks are. I will not judge Gervinho on possible mis-quotes and hope the guy really wants pull on the red jersey, but I have an awful feeling. One & half seasons of effort and goals and then looking for a bigger move?
@hariwool, A case of selective eyesight I should say.. Though why I would even bother with you is a question I should ask myself.
@Shard – stick to untold arsenal where they keep blinding you with all thats rosy in a wengerwonder land
@hariwool, “”It’s a great feeling to be an Arsenal player,” he told Arsenal.com. “I’m very happy. I’ve always dreamed to play for this club. I’ve achieved this dream now and I am so happy. It’s one of the most beautiful days of my life.
Arsenal is an attractive club to me because when I was a kid at the ASEC academy in Abidjan, we were educated to play football the way Arsenal plays. We were lucky to have a coach at the time [Guillou] who had that philosophy. So we tried to play like Arsenal and, since then, I have always wanted to be an Arsenal player. And now I am, so I am delighted.
Direct quotes from Gervinho on the official website
Uhh.. Should I be flattered that you stalk me wherever I go? Don’t think so, because you stink up any place awfully like a troll.
I have to admit I’m a little surprised by some of the comments on Djourou. Yes it’s true that his form dropped dramatically towards the end of the season, but I actually think that until the last month or so (when the whole team dropped off the pace not just him) he was a force to be reckoned with. He kept Drogba under manners at the Emirates and played well with Koscielny against Barca. I don’t think he has the ability to organise the defence but I have to admit I’m not 100% certain Vermaelen does either (not that I don’t like Vermaelen as I think he is quality, it’s just there aren’t many defenders out there who shout out orders like Adams and Campbell did for us). Now obviously I want another defender brought in, but I don’t think that that’s a reason to forget how important Djourou was for us last year in Verminator’s absence. I actually think that bringing in a tall commanding DM is just as important as a new CB. For me the perfect signings for us would now be Samba, M’Villa, Joel Campbell (only because I think he looks like a good prospect and will only cost £900,000) and Benzema. If we got those or players of equal ability in the same positions then I would bet my flat we’d win the league. Quietly preying that Gazidis isn’t chatting rubbish when he says our transfers aren’t over with.