Here’s aa quick updte on my life: I had my house burgled a few weeks back, andd the guy didn’t really cleaan me out but he did manage to steaal my old laptop (Qq is gone!), an old wedding ring, and some old coins. He also maanaged to do about $1000 worth of damage to my doors which was the faact that sent me over the edge in terms of making an insuraance claaim. I only mention this because I had to buy a new laptop last weekend aand IT FUCKING SUCKS.
The proof? That paragraph above. Note the aaaaaaas and how often this fucking keyboard repeats the aa? Yeah, it’s basically an editing nightmare. It also repeats ee and ii and omits keys when I hit them but by far the weirdest thing this computer does is consistently repeat the aa key. Fortunately, I bought the computer at Costco so I’m taking this back and getting a different computer.
As for football, I’m convinced more and more that transfer stories are porn and football fans are transfernymphomaniacs. No sooner had Giroud’s sock hit the hamper* than folks were looking around for a pair of M’Vila athletic socks to try on. Then it was a Robin van Persie tube sock, an Arshavin tennis sock, and finally on to a dirty old hole-filled rag named Squillaci before people took a break for lunch and had a moment to reflect on their great shame.
The harsh reality is that no matter how we fill our woolies, Arsenal are going to carry out business the way that Arsenal carry out business. That is to say, using as much reason as possible in what they will pay for players, demanding fair value for players they are going to sell on, and using cash on hand to purchase players. So, for example, Giroud was Ligue Un’s top goal scorer last season and a crucial component to Montpellier’s title winning side. As soon as I read that he had a release clause of somewhere around £13m and that the French club were refusing to break their wage structure to significantly improve his £20,000 a week salary, I thought “I bet Arsenal go for him”. And sure enough they did.
Podolski was a bit of a surprise, unless you consider that Arshavin is almost certainly not coming back to Arsenal and the club was flush with cash. Everyone is arguing that Arsenal seemed to have “learned the lesson of last season” and that been the impetus to “get the new guys in as soon as possible.” But I’ve maintained all along that the reason transfers dragged out so long last summer is that Arsenal were actually in a bit of a cash poor situation.
That’s not to say that the club didn’t have cash reserves, rather that the amount on reserve didn’t meet the amount they needed to cover for bills and other expenses. Some businesses will borrow in order to cover capital costs up front that they know will be paid back in the end, Arsenal (for whatever reason), do not seem to like doing that. And I know that this is basically a religious argument with one sect taking the side of “Wenger has the money but refuses to spend” and the other side taking a similar position to mine above. It’s not dogma to me, I am glad to have my opinion changed, it’s just that no one has presented me with a convincing argument just yet.
Thus, with Cesc Fabregas refusing to honor his contract, Barcelona were in a great position to offer Arsenal not only a pittance of what Cesc is worth but also to spread the payment out. If I’m right and Arsenal are in a bit of a cash poor position, the Nasri deal probably helped grease the tracks of getting players like Arteta in to the team.
Something you may have missed because it wasn’t a transfer story is that Arsenal announced the sale of the Queensland Road project and the closing of (most of) Arsenal’s property development schemes. The sale was interesting to me because I’ve thought all along that Kroenke was investing in Arsenal specifically for the property development component and I really believed that Arsenal were going to try to maximize profits there. But as the deal went through and Arsenal netted just £26m, it’s clear that the club are jettisoning the long-term pay off of property development and looking to focus on more lucrative and immediate financial incentives like sponsorship deals and commercial development.
Maybe Arsenal “learned the lesson of last year” or maybe it’s just that flush with £26m from the Queensland Road project Arsenal purchased two players that they needed?
If I’m right then this concludes the buying portion of Arsenal’s summer, until all of the players who are to be sold are finally sold. Then, if there’s any money left over, we might see another purchase. Baring a big sale like Robin and Theo, in all likelihood the only other purchase will not be one of those “porno” purchases — you know what I mean, a big, erm, name like M’Vila — and instead will be just some experienced keeper to push Szczesny and to cover for him if need be.
I’m probably wrong and I’m sure you’ll all tell me how wrong I am. I’m also certain someone will create one of those lists . You know that list: Squillaci + Denilson + Bendtner + Arshavin +Vela + Fabianski + Mannone + Glansbury + Chamakh + Park + Diaby + Djourou + Ramsey = The Money to Buy MEGALORONALDO.
I’m also sure someone will mention that I am a wanker. Whatever, at least I’m not the one who is cruising the internet looking for soulless encounters with dead-eyed transfer stories. I just don’t see Arsenal making any big moves coming in without a big move going out which means that any moves from here are going to be incremental improvements to the team rather than large-scale overhaul. An I say that knowing full-well that all the names above (with maybe one or two exceptions) are almost certainly on their way out.
There’s a football game today and I’m going to take some chicken out of the icebox, smother it in vindaloo, get a nice bottle of Alsatian Riesling, and then settle in to watch the tape of Spain v. Portugal. What better way to spend the night than wine, chicken, and a nice silky Ronaldo dress sock?
*Ask your older brother