Arsenal v. Newcastle drinking game

One Sip
Anytime an announcer mentions Sir Alex Ferguson’s rant against the fourth official
Any mention of Arsene Wenger kicking a water bottle
Arsene Wenger actually gets into a row with the fourth official
Tiote remonstrates the official by throwing that fake punch and letting out a big scream

Ba shoots
Cisse yells at Ba for shooting (2 sips!)
Marveaux tackle
Tiote tackle
Arteta tackle
Arteta or Tiote foul
Wilshere or Cazorla dribbles past a Newcastle midfielder

Walcott shoots
Walcott crosses
Gibbs successful cross
Sagna successful cross
Cazorla shoots from distance
Cazorla provides a slide rule pass, splitting ball, or through ball
Every Krul save
Every Krul long pass (successful)
Sagna wins a header

Two Sips
Rash challenge by Wilshere
Rash challenge by Wilshere on either Tiote or Marveaux (4 sips!)
Assist from Podolski
Assist from Walcott
Giroud scores
Ba scores

Half a Drink
Walcott starts as center forward
Podolski plays a man onside
Yellow card for Wilshere

Finish Drink
Chris Foy shows Arsene Wenger a card
Wilshere sent off
Wilshere scores
Tiote scores
Vermaelen Error leads to a goal

55 thoughts on “Arsenal v. Newcastle drinking game

  1. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Tim Post author

    Chateauneuf du Tyne starting XI: Krul, Puck, Starveling, Bottom, Peaseblossom, Mustard Seed, Moth, Oberon, Miranda, Titania, Quince

  2. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1fiberglass

    This is brilliant!
    Although it should have said “Walcott Successful pass”

    I think I am going to be playing this game, but at 11am, I will use another “highly” pleasurable substitute to alcohol though ;-) .

  3. Vote -1 Vote +1fiberglass

    my bad, it should have said…”walcott successful cross”

    Also, the “successful cross” for those 3 should be in the the half drink section because they are so RARELY accomplished.

    I have had one too many of my substitute already :)

  4. Vote -1 Vote +11niltothearsenal

    Missed the first 15 m, and just in time to see the 1st goal. Pure class from Walcott. Why the f$@k doesn’t the kid sign?

    1. Vote -1 Vote +1Bunburyist

      I can’t understand how that idiot commentator can conclude Theo was offside. The line clearly shows him onside.

  5. +4 Vote -1 Vote +1Bunburyist

    At HT:

    We are so sloppy on the counterattack, and much of that has to do with the sloppiness of Walcott and Oxlade-Chamberlain. They’re rarely able to pick out a teammate.

    Newcastle not having to exert themselves all that much to get into this, but the ref is also doing his best to help them.

    Our midfield of Cazorla, Arteta, and Wilshere haven’t been doing much / been taken out of the game. Most everything is going through the right channel, and the Ox is really not up to it, while Sagna is sluggish.

    I don’t see us getting any points from this game, unless we come out drastically different in the second half.

  6. -5 Vote -1 Vote +1Sheila

    Poorly coached team, no tactical or positional awareness from either players or manager. You would think it was Arsenal who played midweek. Does anyone on this team even know how to tackle? Remind me again what Wenger’s number 2 does for a living? A midfield of Arteta, Carzola and Wilshere being dominated by players name Marveaux and Stanton while the old coot fumbles with the zipper on his ridiculous coat. You can’t make this up. Looks a scene straight out of comedy central.

    1. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Jop

      Lax from both Gibbs, Wilshere and Poldi on those two goals. Between the three of them they should be able to deal with situations like those.

  7. -1 Vote -1 Vote +1Bunburyist

    The way this is going, I imagine it will finish 4-4.

    We just can’t defend the lead.

    Midfield and defense all over the place, and maybe we miss Mertesacker’s organization?

  8. +3 Vote -1 Vote +11niltothearsenal

    YES!!! Fantastic cross and header from Giroud. Defence? We don’t need no stinkin’ defence…

  9. +1 Vote -1 Vote +11niltothearsenal

    6-3! One of the best individual goals of the season by Giroud. Can he keep this scintillating form?

  10. +2 Vote -1 Vote +11niltothearsenal

    Ok THAT was one of the very best Arsenal goal of the season. Spectacular showing by Walcott today. Whatever Henry is doing with Walcott is working. PLEASE keep it up.

  11. +7 Vote -1 Vote +1ctpa

    Special thanks goes to the transport workers whose strike gave us the extra rest.

    This is My Arsenal.

    Sign da ting.

  12. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Bunburyist

    Great result, but why did we make such heavy weather of this until the 70th? Perhaps Newcastle finally tired. I shudder to think of the result had we played in midweek. So sloppy at the back.

    Anyway, feels good to beat Alan Pardew. Total fuckwit.

  13. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1nycgunner

    Commentaries on Fox that I found hilarious today:

    1. Building up excuses for Newcastle from the very beginning by pointing out they had 9 players injured while we were almost at full strength.

    2. Saying Theo was offside and then refusing to admit the mistake claiming you can’t tell from the angle shown on replay.

    3. Theo’s right to sign for another club

    Ok.. so the last one was more annoying than hilarious but I can laugh cos we won 7-3!!! Theo the obvious MTM even though there were 3 occasions where we saw the worst of him as well. In the end, he took full advantage of Newcastle’s depleting energy levels and full credit to him for that. Sign him up Arsene!

    1. Vote -1 Vote +1Caribkid

      They did have 9 men out due to injury and suspension, five of them being drop dead starters. Imagine our team with 5 starters out. They would have been remiss not to point that out.

      Actually thought they were fairly balanced in their commentary today.

      1. +3 Vote -1 Vote +1nycgunner

        Yeah but if we had the injuries they would have inevitably said something like… “but that’s why you have a squad, so you can deal with injuries..”

        Didn’t think it was that balanced. Especially the guy claiming Theo was offside – he sounded like one of those “hard” Northerners.

  14. Vote -1 Vote +1Caribkid

    Plethora of emotions during this game. Happiness, sadness, frustration, anxiety, depression, relief and then an ultimate sense of orgasmic joy.


  15. +8 Vote -1 Vote +1Shard

    I’m drunk, and I didn’t even play this drinking game. But it’s not the alcohol making me happy. It’s the result. And the fact that we’re not playing boring football anymore. So what if we can;t defend. It seems to work for ManU. ANd it’s not like the rest of the league defends very well. I’m cool with conceding 3 and winning 3 points. If it’s not good for our health..so what? Neither is drinking as much as suggested :)

  16. +6 Vote -1 Vote +1alabamagooner

    Just read through the comments. Interesting to see the tone change from the first to second half. We’re still low on faith, aren’t we? Every game seems to be ours to lose instead of win. Here’s hoping for more positive energy in the new year!

  17. +1 Vote -1 Vote +11niltothearsenal

    It will be fun deconstructing this one. The fact that we ran away with it in the final 10 m shouldn’t relieve us from some serious naval gazing over our pathetic, continuing,endless and abject defensive woefulness. When was the last time we killed off a game with authority and confidence?

  18. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Skyranger

    Assiduously followed the drinking game. despite that, what does Theo have to do do to convince ? I guess you can please some of the people some of the time etc etc I would pay up now . A replacement will cost as much anyway . I would love to know what the problem is . For me he’s a jewel and an Arsenal jewel so enjoy while we can.

  19. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Teampossible

    Right at this moment, Walcott’s agent is sending an e-mail “How’s 12′o clock tomorrow sound?” to Wenger and the Board.

  20. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Yan

    When was the last time a sub gave us a brace? Re: defence, I think actually only marveaux’s goal was really bad defending. Wilshere’s deflection was unfortunate. It won’t happen again, and Ba’s other goal was just excelent finishing. Mind you, this Ncastle team scored 3 past United, we can’t say the same thing. Thrilling game! Keep them coming!
    #signdating !

  21. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1ndamgoba victor

    That was fantastic for Arsenal, Giroud was great, chambalein was massive,Podo was a killer, Gibbs waiting for Ronaldo to show him he is ready now, Cazorla+wilshare+Alteta=7goals, Walcot is our new striker and probably our new henry sign the thing boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Cliffy

    Happy for Ox…he needed that goal desperately…
    Welcome back Giroud….

    Theo was absolutely at his best…hope he realises that this is the best place for him…he wont get that love anywhere else…

    Get a feeling Merts longer legs would have stopped the second goal…

    A good morale boosting win…firing in all cylinders…
    We can clearly say that the ghosts of the 4-4 has been killed again and buried…

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