Where’s my gum? Well done boys. The final score flatters them lot, you deserved something from that game. All three points I reckon.
Diame. What a great goal, lad. Where’d you learn to dribble like that? Never seen nothing like it. Then to curl it past their keeper fwoar… You could be our Terry Henry. One word though, if you ever get another yellow card for a goal celebration I will fine you a month’s wages. We need all our yellow cards for fouls and not for silly things like celebrations. If you hadn’t gotten that yellow you could have stopped Spanish fella, Carzola, Coralza, whatever from running rings round us.
Andy.. what’s to say but fookin brilliant on both ends of the pitch. I read somewhere that you won something like 17 Aerial Duels ? Whatever those are. Irregardless, you were magnificent, so good in fact that they simply stopped challenging you for headers after the first half. And your shot, that was so perfect. You were wide open and their keeper went mental to get the ball. You just missed. Unlucky. My only regret is that we couldn’t get more of the ball in to you. Have a pint on me, son, you’ve earned it.
Speaking of headers and misses. Nolan… Kevin. Why? Why did you miss it? Such a simple chance. Andy wins the ball for us and you panicked. My aunty could have scored that. What else did you have to do all day Kevin? Nothing. You’ve let your teammates down.
That was our plan. We planned it. It was a surprise. You saw how surprised they were when they thought we would press them but instead we sat back, saved our legs. We knew they couldn’t deal with Andy so all we had to do was get the ball to him and with our fresh legs run onto Andy’s knockdowns.
Ah well, would have loved to do one on ole Arsene but it wasn’t to be. Enjoy the two weeks off, lads. And come back fresh for the match against Soton. Win that and I think we’ve a real chance to win the League.
Now, gather round let’s have a moment of silence for Ricardo. He injured his shoulder when Mannone fouled his shin with his giant Italian face.
Do you all have your fluids? Please re-hydrate, it is essential.
Did anyone pick up a knock? Per? How is your ankle? I know you will all feel some bumps and bruises right now and that is only natural when Andy Carroll is allowed to elbow everyone and climb on them to get an advantage in the air. It’s also important that we get the swelling down on any kicks you may have taken from their so-called tackles. Please see Colin immediately for treatment.
Overall, well done to all of you. You all did extremely well in the face of adversity both from the opposition and from Phil Dowd.
Yes, Andy Carroll won a lot of headers but we knew that he would and did fairly well to keep the second runner from getting to the flick on. We were doing so well on that account that they had to bring Nolan up and act as a second striker. That opened the game for us and that’s why I put Theo on.
Great goal Theo. You showed composure and finished with top, top quality. You keep impressing me and I will have no choice but to start you. But it will be a tough choice because I have so many great forwards at the moment.
Giroud showed tremendous energy to get onto the end of Podolski’s final ball and the touch to score was magnifique. Lukas is in top form and really enjoying his football right now. Gervinho, you looked a bit jaded was there perhaps a bit of a virus?
In midfield, Mikel and Santi had a massive game for us. You two make me feel like a fan watching you play. All other midfielders in the world should watch the movement off the ball by Mikel and Santi, they are always available. They simply want the ball all the time and when they get the ball they love it. Mikel was particularly wonderful to watch today, he didn’t have a single shot, but he broke up their play, got “stuck in” when they had the ball, and kept everything going for us.
Santi, you really deserved that goal. Classic midfield strike and wonderfully balanced to hit it so purely.
Aaron, you probably won’t get beaten by a nutmeg again any time soon. Just remember that moment and stand the opponent up instead of committing. You were also unlucky Dowd didn’t award a penalty but it sometimes seems like we have been targeted to never get another penalty call. We’ve only gotten one penalty in the League since 21 December 2011.
Gervinho, you were unlucky to get a yellow for Mark Noble’s dive but I am proud of you all as a team for not rising to Dowd’s risible refereeing. You leave the complaining to me, it’s my job to take those blows from the press and fans for you.
Also, before you leave, please stop by thee physios and have a word with Kieran. He will be gutted about the injury which might keep him from making an appearance for the Three Lions.
Thank you all and I will see you when you return from international duty.