You ever woken up in the morning and your bladder was so full that your first thought was “oh my. This feels like a two pounder”? Probably not.
That’s how I woke up this morning, sleeping straight through an hour of alarm but waking when I felt the pressure of my bloated bladder pressing against my rib cage. Oh, and I know how to estimate the weight of my urine because, well, because I weigh it.
Don’t get the wrong idea, I weigh it while it’s still in my body: step on the bathroom scale, have a slash, step on the scale again, minus the difference. I do this every time I use the bathroom and there’s a scale nearby. It’s a habit now, despite the fact that I know full well that a pint’s a pound the world around and that the human bladder can only hold about 800cc.
The point is that I got up late. Two hours late. And as a result there will be no brilliant commentary here today.
I will say that the Demba Ba situation seems to be heating up. Heating up in the same way that things always heat up right before the John hands the hooker $50. Ba is apparently putting stickers in all the phone booths in North London with the rather provocative tag-line: “I like short balls”.
This follows on the heels of the articles published a few days ago were he was quoted as saying “I live in a black and white world but I dream in red and white, yellow and blue, and purple and that weird blue/black color, what’s it called? Nike Slate?”
Lett’s put the health problems aside for a minute. Am I the only one who noticed that Demba Ba fell apart after the ACN last year? Fell apart as in “15 goals before the ACN, 1 goal after.” I know that the reason the wheel’s came off Ba’s season last year is because Papiss Cisse exploded onto the scene scoring 13 goals from January onward, but Ba only had one assist in that time. And Newcastle didn’t even play him centrally so that he could win a lot of headers. It’s all just very strange and I’m just going to say it, he seems like a grifter. Arsenal need someone hungry to prove themselves in the Premier League, not someone hungry for the big payout.
Speaking of hungry to prove themselves, Arsenal announced today that all five of their British internationals (I know that Jenkinson isn’t one yet) have agreed to new long-term deals. Jenkinson, Gibbs, Wilshere, Chamberlain, and Ramsey have all put pen to paper and in so doing have given proof to Arsenal’s British strategy. As predicted when the League instituted the Homegrown rule, British players are going to see a spike in value, and especially British players who have some talent. As a result, Arsenal have clearly pursued a strategy to procure young Brits, mold them in the Arsenal way, and try to keep them at Arsenal. Zaha would make a welcome addition to this core of British talent and don’t be at all surprised if Arsene “swoops” for his signature in January or this summer, depending on what Theo tries to pretend he’s doing.
This signing puts to bed Theo Walcott’s post-Reading quote about how signing contracts “take time”. No, Theo, they don’t. You are refusing to sign, end of. Clearly, Theo wants no part of Arsenal’s British renaissance*. I’m going to call it, it’s done, folks, Theo is not signing a new deal with Arsenal. Let’s just hope that he keeps a professional attitude, it looks like Arsenal are going to need him for for the rest of the year.
The one place that Arsenal have missed out in this British sweepstakes, however, is in the center half position; having been beaten to the signatures of Smalling and Jones by United who are also pursuing a British strategy. I know that a player like Sol Campbell is a once in a lifetime kind of guy but I can’t help wishing that Arsenal would buy a British player who is built like the Iron Giant and yet mobile as Koscielny.
Arsenal have tried to buy a British center back but keep getting beat to the signature. The last one was Gary Cahill which is a real shame because, and I’m not afraid to admit this, I was wrong — he’s been stellar for Chelsea and would have been a huge addition to Arsenal. Oh well, there’s more fish in the sea and I just bet that Arsene has some super-sneaky British center back from some lower division team that he wants to bring to Arsenal. Who would you pick?
Right, that’s my fluff for the day. If you need more from me, you can read my thoughts on what goals Arsenal should prioritize this winter over on the Fan’s Roundtable. Keep an eye on that spot, there will be more articles this week on various topics with commentary from Brett, Joel, Zara, and me.
*HA HA that’s a French word.