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The Barsenalerry post from a lunatic persective

I wish I could have stayed home and at least watched one of the two Champions League games this week but alas I do not write full time for a living and since it wasn’t even Arsenal playing had no excuse to miss important meetings at work. I didn’t even think to record either match because I fully expected Barcelona, Real Madrid, and UEFA to ensure that the Spanish teams faced each other in a Classico to end all Classicos so I haven’t even seen either match on replays. And maybe it’s just apathy but I also haven’t seen any videos online from either match.

I have, however, seen this GIF of John Terry getting a red card:

John Terry is such a national treasure.

I mean, what else would journalists have to write about if it wasn’t for JT “fooling around” like this all the time? Think about it for a moment, because of that knee to Sanchez’ back JT is out of the final and the newspapers are all abuzz with every angle of the story; there’s the “moment of madness which let down his team”, the “team petitioning UEFA to let JT lift the trophy despite the ban”, the “he’s not that kind of guy”, and countless other angles which I don’t have the stomach to read.

Not that all this coverage of Jazza Tazza makes me sick, it fills me up!

Speaking of which, if you haven’t gotten enough of JTazzy there’s a huge story brewing about whether or not he and Anton Ferdinand will shake hands on Sunday. Imagine for a second what it must have been like to be Adam in the Garden of Eden; there’s no sin, all of your wants are cared for, and God smiles down upon you filling you with the holy spirit with every velveteen step that you take. I kinda think that’s what the lives of sports reporters who cover John Terry must be like: twenty-four seven manna from heaven.

John Terry’s such a national treasure he was even voted Dad of the Year.

But back to the sports for a second, if you’ll indulge me.

Like I said, it was a bit of a shock that both Spanish teams went out in this round because when I saw them play, they didn’t just win games they eviscerated their opponents. Barcelona in particular is an amazing team to watch; every movement is synchronized, every player knows exactly where a teammate will be, and every pass is perfect. They are so perfectly meshed that they actually have difficulty inserting a player like Cesc Fabregas. This despite the fact that he was “trained” at Barcelona, because he’s got this Arsene Wenger swing beat in his head while his Barcelona teammates are playing classical.

Cesc is like this kid who was trained at the Vienna Philharmonic for a few years, then joined the Max Roach trio for a decade, and is now back in Vienna trying to fit in with the Orchestra. But a swing beat in that team is exactly what they needed to beat Chelsea and instead they have stifled him and when things are going badly, they take him off.

As Arsenal supporters we know that as much as anyone. Become too predictable and the opposition is happy to sit back and let you metronimcally pass the ball around the perimeter of their parked bus or lob low-percentage crosses at their giant center halfs. Insert some unpredictability, drag the opponent out of their shape, and you stand a chance of getting a goal.

Unfortunately, I suspect that Barcelona won’t have learned this lesson. Thinking that Messi is enough Jazz in their orchestra they will probably double down on the rigidity. Which makes me wonder if Cesc has a place in their team? Not because he’s not good enough, but because he’s not the right type of player. This is a team which got rid of Eto’o for Ibrahimovich and then Ibra for Villa and now Villa is out of favor. It’s only a matter of time before they look at Cesc and wonder if he fits or if it wouldn’t be better to start a player who grew up in the Barca system and, crucially, never left.

The lesson here for Arsenal is not to let Plan A consume you. I’ve seen Arsenal play defensive football, they did so and won against Barcelona last year, so I know that a Plan B exists. But the problem is that sometimes that Plan B goes missing for a while and the team becomes too predictable.

This problem of predictability is especially true as Arsenal face a bit of a nail-biting run in of three games versus Stoke (who I think kinda dislike Arsenal, not really sure), Norwich, and West Brom (two teams with nothing to win but also nothing to lose). With Chelsea now in the final and facing a depleted Bayern team I’m starting to think that they have a real chance at winning the Champions League. That earns them automatic promotion to the Champions League group stages next season regardless of where they finish on the League table and as a result turns the Fourth Place Cup into a Third Place Cup.* Meanwhile, Newcastle is a real threat for Arsenal’s third place and while they have some tough games versus Chelsea and Man City, they are the form team of the League at the moment and have won all six of their last matches since losing 2-1 against Arsenal.

To put it mathematically, if Newcastle win two and lose two of their four remaining games Arsenal only have to win one game. But if Newcastle get two wins and a draw then Arsenal need a win and a draw. If Newcastle get three wins and a draw, Arsenal need two wins and a draw. ETC. Basically, I’m saying that we can give Newcastle the game in hand as three points and then have to match them or best them point for point in the final run in.

Which means that I’ll be rooting for Chelsea on May 2nd before I root against Chelsea on May 19th. And isn’t that just gross?

Right, well, I’ll probably leave things there before I have to change the name of the blog to 7amkickoff: the Barsenalerry blog from a lunatic’s perspective.

Qq

*FYI, third place also goes straight into the group stages.

36 thoughts on “The Barsenalerry post from a lunatic persective

  1. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1EP

    just a side note: David Villa isn’t out of favour. He hasn’t been playing because he broke his leg in November when Barca played in the Club World Championship.

  2. Vote -1 Vote +1Caribkid

    Our one big advantage versus Newcastle is that we have a superior GD of 13 which means we win the tie break if both of us finish on the same amount of points. It’s very important for us though in terms of momentum for next year to finish the season strongly against mid level opponents and move to Wenger MK V team rebuild.

  3. Vote -1 Vote +1nycgunner

    In all honesty, if Newcastle wins 3 of their next 4, they deserve to be in the CL. On the flip side, if we can’t get a single win in our next three then we don’t.

    So the 3rd place team will need to qualify if Chelsea wins the CL?

    1. Vote -1 Vote +1NorCalArsenal

      Yeah. That was my bad. Several articles out there suggest third would have to qualify but arsenal.com clearly states that third would still move straight to the group stage.

      1. Vote -1 Vote +1NorCalArsenal

        This is directly from arsenal.com.

        Chelsea’s run to the Champions League final has the potential to complicate the qualification process for next season’s competition.

        Should Roberto Di Matteo’s side win in Munich on May 19, the top three in the Premier League will go straight into the group stages, with Chelsea also claiming a place. The team that finishes in fourth in the Premier League would go into the Europa League.

        Should Chelsea lose the final, the Premier League’s top three would qualify for the group stages as normal, while the team finishing in fourth place would begin their European campaign in the Champions League play-off round.

  4. Vote -1 Vote +1Tino

    I think people forget that Chamakh was probably brought in as a way for us to execute plan B, which shows that they manager thinks about these things. Sadly for Chamakh when plan A involves the best striker in the BPL, you don’t get games. I am sure the manager assumes that if Van Persie can’t conjure up a goal, then Chamakh certainly won’t.

    I personally find it hard to watch Barcelona. The Cesc situation still pains me, the players are crybabies and in some games like Barcelona vs AC Milan it’s a downright snoozefest.

    1. Vote -1 Vote +1Eurazian

      Yes it shows that Arsene does think about such things. But it was a typically inscrutable Arsene touch to pick a target man who doesn’t shoot.

  5. +3 Vote -1 Vote +1T-Town

    John Terry is not a bad dad. Or a bad friend. Or a bad player. Or a racist. HE IS A F$#@! IDIOT. A GIANT IDIOT. And experience is not going to change that. That makes him bad at potentially everything that he touches or says or does.

  6. Vote -1 Vote +1T-Town

    I respect Barcelona, but overall Barcelona games are painful to watch, and very one-dimentional. And too much diving, play acting, etc. Even Messi picked up a yellow recently for diving. This team doesn’t even take corners! They pass it on corners. Very predictable and one-dimentional. There is a wide palette of skills, tactics, and strategies and kids around the world will not learn, starting with taking shots when you have one to take… from further than 6 yards. Yes, there are more ways to score goals than with tap ins.

    1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1nycgunner

      For me Barca is painful to watch in the sense that when I see Cesc it’s kind of like running into your ex-gf on the street – you know the one that would do any freaky thing you wanted to do in bed but in the end somehow managed to get away before you were able to do the ultimate freaky thing.

      However from a purely aesthetic sense, I can’t deny that they are not easy on the eyes. If you find Barca’s game play boring, surely you must find Arsenal’s boring as well? Think the main differences are they have a player like Messi who can drag multiple defenders out of position in one move, their midfield retains the ball better and they close down their opponents faster when they don’t have the ball.

      1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1jaymin

        heh. she is thinking that look of regret in your eyes, the anguish, hails from deeply held thoughts of the now vanished possibility of sharing a life, a home, a family with her, becoming soul mates and sharing walks like a Sparks novel, whereas in fact you’re just pondering how perfectly she is proportioned for some incredible thai suspension/rope and pulley based sex apparatus you just caught a glimpse of on eBay. Mars and Venus!

  7. Vote -1 Vote +1DF

    I am not sure if playing one-dimentionally is a bad thing when you can win 99% of games with complete control. Arsenal is always accused of playing one-dimentionally when they lose or draw; but never when they beat
    Spurs 5-2…so is barca, so is Real madrid, so is Stoke, Manutd, even
    Chelsea….
    Yes, English teams can play 2-dimentional football, meaning when their usual play fails, they hoof the ball into the 8 yd box, they play hailmary passes and so on….
    I wonder if those who says Barcelona games are painful to watch, and very one-dimentional means that when they need a goal and cant get it the usual way, they should use this device….

  8. Vote -1 Vote +1shrek2be

    I was initially rooting for Real to beat Bayern because I thought Bayern if they qualified for the final might bottle it against the scumbags. But they played brilliantly.I have hopes for Bayern in the final.

    Coming back to the EPL, Arsenal need a minimum 7 points out of a possible 9 to ensure they come at least 4th. If Newcastle draw/lose even 1 game , we should be 3rd as we have a GD of +13 currently despite Newcastle and Arsenal ending up level on 72 points.

    1. Vote -1 Vote +1Bunburyist

      That’s exactly how I felt initially (regarding the RM v Bayern game), but I really think Bayern can beat Chelsea. In a way, Chelsea would have been “up for it” a lot more if they were playing Mourinho’s Madrid. I have a feeling they’ll underestimate Bayern, or at least be unsure what to expect.

      Could be a great final.

    2. Vote -1 Vote +1nycgunner

      My feelings exactly. However i do think for some reason luck seems to be on Chelsea’s side. I have no idea what they have done to deserve this kind of luck, but they have it and i can’t stand it. It has to end sometime and i hope it ends soon.

  9. -1 Vote -1 Vote +1jaymin

    I hate to bring religion into this case, particularly of the ephemeral and naturalistic type, but is it possible that Cesc Fabregas could be cursed? Roman Abromovic us such a freespending charlatan, and in southern siberia there are a lot of old world, wiccan types, who, for x amount of money, would be glad to indulge in the darker arts of devotion. so it’s possible Cesc is jinxed. AND Barelona recently agreed to follow Madrid’s lead and remove the cross of St. George from their banner in Saudi Arabia AND are now funded by a bunch of cosmopolitan Quataris who only worship money, so cesc doesn’t have the traditional Catholic safeguards most spaniards take for granted. the evil eye must be warded off from time to time.

    1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Nikki

      I’m sorry but if you have to bring religion, don’t bring down other religion please. I know you’re not specifically mentions Islam. But “Arabs worship money”, that is offend me, even though I’m not Arabs.
      Anyway, i don’t think Cesc will go down like Eto’o and the like. I think he will replace Xavi and Barcelona still have a chance next season for the title as lon as Messi in it.

      1. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1jaymin

        if i’ve been coarse it’s because i haven’t expressed myself well. i was only referring to the Qatari royal family, not making a broad statement about Islam. sorry for that.

  10. +5 Vote -1 Vote +1T-Town

    Bayern: The Squad of the Ugly faces (Ribery, Robben, Shweinie) vs.
    Chelsea: The Squad of the Ugly game

    1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Eurazian

      Fortunately Bayern have Mario Gomez, who in the good looks department is probably enough to counter the negative impact of Schweinsteiger and Robben, but not Ribery.
      To balance out Ribery, you’d need Henry, Ljungberg and Pires on the pitch at the same time.

      In hindsight, was the Invincibles squad the dreamiest of all time?

  11. Vote -1 Vote +1richard

    why we talking about barca and jt no need. As for newcastle they have three tough games wigan man city and chelsea if they get 5 points out of them games they will be lucky i predict 68 points is their total this season spurs will be our concern if they turn around their poor run of form. we will get 7 points from our next 3 games and leave us on 72 points a total that should give us 3rd unfortunately for spurs or newcastle 4th may be bad luck for them this season as chelsea look to be first london team to win champions league especially as bayern will be a better team for them to play against than madrid or barca.

    1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1ctpa

      How about that. Just when the prodigal son returns back to the farm, his ‘dad’ may abandon the ‘family’ for some R&R.

      The most annoying thing about the Barcelona loss was Cesc saying how unfair it was to lose. Son, your team got a PK that could have killed the match off and the boy with 63 goals choked. Next PK, how about you say to the ‘big’ guy: it’s okay, I got this :)

    2. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Yan

      “I want to thank my players who are responsible for everything that has happened here. I don’t want to manage at the moment.” Jeez, don’t know about you, but this makes me respect Arsene and even red nose even more.

      Can you imagine being in AW shoes just for a month? I know I would crumble.

  12. +3 Vote -1 Vote +1Teampossible

    It’s like Cesc turned into one of the Borg from Star Trek.
    His creativity now somehow looks instructed, and he looks like one of the joints in a complex mechanism. Which is pity, because this is happening to him right after he completely matured in relation to the game.
    Then again, I really couldn’t give a shit about him anymore. I still miss Pires more than I’ll ever miss Fabregas.

  13. +4 Vote -1 Vote +1Limestonegunner

    Irony of ironies. There is some bad juju/karma involved with the manner of Cesc’s recruitment. Just ask jaymin. Goes to Barca to be at home with hero Pep who leaves; goes to Barca for trophies (the real ones) and Barca comes up empty for the first time in 4 years. Barca hailed as greatest team in history, while this year’s edition is criticized as the end of the era. Reverse Midas touch.

    1. -1 Vote -1 Vote +1BrkiMarin

      That is harsh, really.
      Even if Pep leaves it will be because of stress of managing Barcelona,
      where ppl have expectations of trophies each and every season.
      Thing that’s done Barcelona this year are injuries and fatigue, some of them are playing season and then into the summer for 4 years. That is especially true of Spain internationals.

      Pep already confirmed that this summer they will make no summer tour, that they will have proper preparation for a season, and they will add
      more top players into the squad, basically next year i think they will walk it to the final, with possibly real madrid only one to stop them.
      Especially considering that who they coach is matters, but not so much
      as in other clubs, because the system is in place, coach only needs to
      fine tune components. They will still win Copa, so in total 3 trophies if i am not mistaken, bad haul comparing to the previous seasons but nothing to be sniffed at. I would be over the moon if Arsenal finished 2nd with couple points behind leaders and won FA cup.

  14. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1nycgunner

    Interesting from the Guardian. Glad we have a manager who CAN take pressure:

    Guardiola’s friend, the Arsenal manager, Arsène Wenger, said he was surprised by the Barça coach’s decision: “It comes as a surprise to me because first of all when you make a decision after a big disappointment like he has had in the past week, it may not be the right moment to make this decision. The philosophy of Barcelona has to be bigger than winning or losing a championship. Guardiola is one of the representatives of this philosophy and made this philosophy triumph so I would have loved him, even going through a disappointing year, to stay and come back and insist with his philosophy. That would be interesting.”

    On the pressure Guardiola faced, Wenger was sympathetic. “Believe me, if somebody can understand that it’s me,” he said. “I can understand there are not many managers who work throughout a career without a breather. Maybe he has not shown the stress. Maybe it’s taken more than he has shown. You never know from the outside how deeply a man suffers from the inside. I have heard he has come out and wants to have a break to reflect on the situation, which you can understand after a certain time. I decided the other way to never come out of a job, because it becomes second nature to cope with it. It becomes your life. Some people need to move out at some stage.”

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