Category Archives: Arsenal

World Cup Dreams, Jose Christ, Collina Speaks, and more

World cup dreamin’

After a couple of weeks of good performances, Arsenal’s midfielders are truly riding high and have suddenly started expressing their interest in playing for their national teams. And why not? They see the greats like Robin van Persie fly off to parts unknown and get injured in pointless international friendlies and they think “that could be me!”

In actuality, Denilson and Diaby are saying the right things, you know, the whole “if I work hard for Arsenal and excel, then I will earn the right to play for my national side.”

That said, the Diaby quotes reminded me that he was on track to be a big Arsenal player until Dan Smith broke his leg in the last minute of a blowout win back in 2006. It was nearly the same injury that Eduardo suffered “dislocated and broken ankle” and looking at Eduardo’s progress this season in the context of Diaby’s struggle over the last three years should give us Arsenal fans some perspective. I’m not ready to say that Diaby has arrived (two good games is not enough) but I will applaud his hard work and touch all kinds of wood that he stays healthy.

If Diaby is any example, we all need to let Eduardo recover at his own pace as well. It could take him another year before he gets back to his old self.

Jose Christ, what an ego

I also won the Charity Shield; NEVER FORGET!

Never forget that after spending a Billion dollars in transfer fees and salaries, Jose Mourinho won two League titles and one FA Cup. That’s right, he won 3 real trophies. He also won some Milk cups and the Charity Shield, which of course he counts as part of his “massive” haul. But what else did he do for English football?

Stamford Bridge is my home, I never lost a Premier League game here in more than three years at the club and I only ever lost one Champions League match here. Chelsea fans do not forget that and the English people do not forget that. They don’t forget what I have done for them or what I have done for English football.

Awesome, Jose Mourinho is bigger than Jesus, breast implants, and beer all put together. He brought Italian style defensive football to England at a cost of a Billion dollars in debt to Chelsea FC and you English all owe him a huge debt of gratitude. He will be allowing you to kiss his ring at the Selfridges on Oxford Street Feb.2nd, start queuing now!

Collina backs video replay, game over

Collina is the only man to have ever red carded Chuck Norris and he has spoken out about using video technology to help referee matches:

Things cannot continue as they are, referees take the field knowing the match will be dissected to find their mistakes. “I’ll make a provocation: at this point we might as well use technology, otherwise the referee is the only one who has to decide with his own eyes, while everyone else assesses things with increasingly perfect technology.

Game over, man. Game over. Collina doesn’t interpret the rules, he is the rules.*

If you can’t beat ‘em, buy ‘em

I don’t know what’s more incredible about this story; the fact that Manchester City’s new owners are unabashed Real Madrid fans, or the fact that Real Madrid needed to publicly deny that Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan made an offer for the team.

Hmmm… I’m going with the file photo included with the story. That’s a scary looking dude right there.

Edwin van der Sar’s wife

And finally, no joking around here, just a wish that van der Sar’s wife get better.

*I promise, no more “Collina Norris” jokes.

Tuesday Transfer Tattle

This is one of those mornings where I wake up wondering what I’m going to write about, go to the news feeds, and then sit back and say, “well this sucks.” We’ve literally got no transfer news and even worse, precious little transfer rumors.

Now, I know that I often bemoan the rumor mill and ridicule it and the British press, but think about it for a second… I need them! I need their constant “so and so is coming to Arsenal” or I’ll have nothing to make fun of. I mean, look at the popcockery that the press is aiming at rival clubs, Inter Milan to make a Gerrard swoop? That’s grade A stuff, people.

Vidic to Real Madrid? Why not Vermaelen to Barcelona? I could work with that. Balotelli to new found League challengers Manchester City? I thought Arsenal were in for Super Mario, what happened to that rumor?

No, the only thing that the journos can dig up is a story about how Marouane Chamakh is saying that he won’t leave Bordeaux, Arsenal are targeting a swap of Jay Simpson for some 15 year old, and some silly pap about a 21 year old keeper from Watford. 2 measly stories do not a column make.

And then there’s the worst thing that could happen, the one thing Arsenal blogger’s dread; Cesc Fabregas commits his future (again) to Arsenal. How am I supposed to get all indignant about Joan of Barcelona and the Spanish press when Fabregas is preemptively denying rumors?

It’s not fair, I tell you.

Well, let’s take a look at our two transfer targets. First off, there’s a 15 year old from QPR named Raheem Sterling who Arsenal are reportedly offering £1m plus Jay Simpson. Let’s see, 15, short, loads of potential, out of the blue signing, uhhh, yeah this deal is as good as done. Nothing to talk about there.

Scott Loach from Watford, 21, English, plays for the U-21 side, makes a ton of saves against crappy opposition, hmmm… Well if we do sign him, so what? Does anyone really see Loach as a legitimate challenge to Mooney’s #1 spot? Hell, is he even better than any of our other 21 year old keepers? Oh wait, what am I saying? This is a done deal.

And that’s it as far as transfer tattle for today. Enjoy.

Danny Maldini tackles Seedorf, “Spicy Vindaloo,” and Danielle Lloyd is still alive.

Three quick “Dan-tastic” links that I’ve gleaned from the day:

First, Paolo Maldini’s 5 year old son gives a lesson in proper tackling, by sliding in on Clarence Seedorf!

The kid tackles better than me for Christ’s sake.

Next, “Spicy Vindaloo” is going to be my euphamism of the week, thanks to Studs Up.

And finally, buried in this article by Kickette is a mention of Danielle Lloyd, who got a puppy from from Spuds fiance and some times footballer Jaime O’Hara and named it Bentley. Not sure if she named the puppy Bentley after David Bentley or after the car, but I did want to take a moment to remind you that Danielle Lloyd is an attractive woman who likes to dress provocatively and thus is Wag of the Week #3.

As President George W. Bush would say, “mission accomplished” Danielle.