Category Archives: Arsenal

Kroenke, Nando Bruno, Fergie, scribbles, and send me your questions

You will know me by my signature

There are some really fascinating scribbles from Premier League players that are going to be made into a book for charity over at the Independent. See if you can find the Theo! Also, what id Robin van Persie doing? Is that a lighter? Is he going to have a smoke?

Kroenke on the brink?

I’ve long held that Stan Kroenke won’t launch any takeover bid until this Summer. He’s just not the kind of guy who likes to stir things up and he’s wary of upsetting the club and the team while we are still in a trophy race.

Couple things are now conspiring to keep him from buying the club. The first is the fact that if he waits until the end of May he’ll get a discount on the per-share price — owing to the fact that the price-per-share in a takeover bid is determined by the highest price paid over the last year. The high water mark over the last year was £10,500 last May to the Carr family. So, if he lets that pass before he buys he can get the shares for £2000 cheaper each.

Where’s he going to get the money? Is he going to pile a bunch of debt into the team? I don’t know for sure but there is a $750m offer on the table for his shares in the St. Louis Rams, and he has until Monday to decide to take it or not. I also know that he has a very large personal fortune and that the board trust him in continuing the model of financial austerity that they have set the club on.

Basically, there’s no need to get all excited, yet…

Chary lets Fergie have both barrels!

7amkickoff contributor, Chary, also has his fingers in other pies and has written a hilarious rant about Fergie over at Arsenal-Arsenal. Check it out!

Fernando Torres looks like Bruno

I mentioned that he looked like a 16 year old emo kid and it was pointed out to me that no, he looks like Bruno. And that’s that, Nando is Bruno.

Send your questions, I answer like Arshavin

Ever wanted to have your esoteric, philosophical, and underwear related questions answered by a second-rate American blogger in a column?

Now is your chance (ie, we’ve got to do something to fill the vacuum of the next few days)

Send your questions to me via this form and if there are enough I answer them the way I think Arshavin would and will compile them and make a column. You could be famous!

Likeanewsigning and David Villa go round the outside, round the outside

Hey guess what? Arsenal don’t have a game this weekend! Kind of nice, I guess, especially since we’re still in the title race and our mid-week opponent, Tottenham, has to play in an FA Cup semi-final at the cow patch called Wembley.

I know that a lot of you will be upset that we are out of the FA Cup but I’m not. We are within 3 points of the title and after chasing the trophy that really matters we are battered, bruised, and beat down. This Arsenal team needs a rest and while I’d love for them to win a minor trophy to shut the doom and gloomers up for a moment, I’d rather have a healthy team for the last 5 matches.

Speaking of injuries, Colin Lewin gave an interview on the Dot com and tried to explain some of the injury problems this team has had this year. A lot of folks like to point to players like van Persie and toss out the “injury prone” tag but I think Colin rightly points out that what we’ve suffered this season isn’t just niggling injuries but rather traumatic injuries. I think I already knew that but when he says that we’ve suffered 7 (SEVEN) fractures this season I think it gives a little context.

The folks who like to point out the “injury prone” players always do so in order to talk about how Arsenal need to buy buy buy.  But you absolutely cannot buy your way out of 7 fractures. You just cannot have a team of 30 world class players — even Arsenal couldn’t afford that. And don’t give me the crap about how we should have bought in January because Arsene did buy and even better, his faith in the strikers on this team has been re-payed.

Sol Campbell has been absolutely essential in defense and in the locker room and was easily one of Wenger’s best signings of the last few years.

Additionally, Bendtner has been very good since coming back from injury and has scored or assisted in all but one of his last 10 matches, netting 8 goals and 4 assists in those games.

A little faith, folks. Just a little.

None of which touches on the Likeanewsignings which Lewin says are coming back into the team. Within a fortnight, Djourou and Gibbs are going to start training with the team having overcome career threatening injuries and “imminently” Robin van Persie is going to be training with the team.

For the record, there is absolutely no way RvP will play on Wednesday. He hasn’t even started training with the team yet, let’s give him some room to breathe.

Meanwhile Doctor Arshavin continues his battle with Arsene Wenger in the press and has now diagnosed himself with two muscle tears.

I have two tears, now I maybe stay out rest of season?

I’m not going to rip him, taking my own advice about faith here, but I do find it odd that he makes the announcements that the club should be making. Ultimately, I suppose it doesn’t matter who announces the injury it’s just not how business is done at our club so I’m not used to it.

After the Barcelona loss much hay was made of Arsene’s comments about maybe buying some players this Summer with Gooners round the world peeing themselves at the prospect of having maybe an 8th player who’s leg could be snapped under the agricultural challenge of a player like Ryan Shawcross.

Marouane Chamakh is pretty much already on his way and according to my sources has had titanium spikes installed on his shins in preparation for the “rigors” of the Premier League. And if you think Wenger is done with transfers after spending the princely sum of £0 for Chamakh you’re wrong! My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Arsenal scouts watching David Silva at the Europa league clash between Atletico and Valencia last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Let me see a 5’7″ foreign playmaker who doesn’t score many goals, damn… this is a shooin isn’t it?

Right, that’s it for the moment, look for another post of just fun links, no serious discussion allowed, scheduled for 11am PST. See you then!

Arsenal fans comport themselves amicably in Catalonia and other nonsense

Your broadcast is getting f*cked by a drunken Arsenal mob

I don’t know if you’ve had the chance to listen to the It’s Up For Grabs Now Arsenal Podcast yet, but one of the funny things they mentioned is a Spanish television spot where they sent out a reporter to give the “woman on the street” view of the Arsenal fans gathered in Barcelona ahead of the Champions League match. They talked about a different time where the Arsenal fans started singing some nationalist song but here we have a more recent example.

At first the fans are all, “hey look, Spanish girl… beer… uhhh… telly!” and before you can say “Mas Cerveza por favor” someone starts up a chant of “You’re getting f*cked by Eboue.” Naturally, everything goes quickly downhill from there. Including an Irish flag with words on it, a 10 year old badge kisser, and some drunken dry-humping of the presenter.

Hilarious, but not even remotely safe for work.

She was nice

Fernando Torres has the hottest 16 year old emo-hipster hair in the EPL. FACT.

IRONY: Carlos Vela forgets Arsene

In a stunning role reversal, it turns out that the reason Vela didn’t start and score a barbershop against Barcelona is because instead of Wenger forgetting Carlos Vela, he  forgot about Arsenal. Well, specifically, Vela forgot where he put his passport. Now do you see why Platini and Blatter want Arsenal to check everyone’s passports fastidiously?

Oh dear…

She seems like such a lovely young lady, why would she want to ruin her life with that… whole supporting Blackburn thing?

See more of her at Who Ate All The Pies.

Richard Keys and Andy Gray are a bit sh*t, aren’t they?

If you need any further proof of a media bias against Arsenal, you need look no further than the alleged outbursts by Andy Gray and Richard Keys over the play of Theo Walcott on Tuesday. Supposedly, someone forgot to turn of their mics and one or both were caught saying variously that Theo Walcott’s sh*t and rubbish.

Shame that, I really, really respected Andy Gray, he was like a father to me.*

*You should meet my father