7amkickoff » Cesc Transfer

Cesc by committee

Tim — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 15:04:53 +0000

Replacing Cesc Fabregas was always going to be difficult, if not outright impossible and even with my post earlier this Summer saying as much I wasn’t fully aware of how difficult the task would be.

If you remember, I looked at the Cesc effect on Arsenal’s performances in the League and in all competitions that he participated in for Arsenal. Below is that chart with one minor addition, the 2011-2012 team record.

As you can see, when Cesc played for Arsenal the goals per game were over 2 per and defensively we held our opposition to just one. Without Cesc the goals per game dropped by half a goal and the goals against spiked by nearly double.

Unfortunately, Arsenal’s goals per game in 2011-2012 has remained where we might expect it without Cesc at a mere 1.43. And even worse Arsenal’s defensive record is well above double the defensive record with Cesc in the team last year.

Again, Arsenal’s winning percentage without Cesc is similar across the two seasons but what’s dramatically changed is that Arsenal aren’t getting the draws that we did last season. It’s early times in the League and we don’t want to draw too many conclusions yet but had Arsenal secured draws against Liverpool and Tottenham or Tottenham and Blackburn (UGH) then we would be looking at a much better record and a record more in line with what we should expect without Cesc in the team. Which isn’t saying much.

That PPS number (Points Per Season) is very worrying. PPS is an extrapolation of the points that the team earned divided by games played and then multiplied by 38. The 50 points that we would have expected to earn without Cesc last season would have put Arsenal firmly in 7th-8th place of the League table. The points per game that Arsenal are earning now is relegation form. I’m not saying that Arsenal are going to get relegated, rather just pointing out how far up that mountain that the club have to climb.

Individually, the team haven’t directly replaced Cesc and instead are relying on a midfield by committee to get the numbers that the former captain used to produce. The chart below shows this.

The most glaring deficiency is that Arsenal haven’t replaced Cesc’s through ball numbers. The Arsenal system is designed to play our strikers and midfielders through and the club leads the League in through balls per game. Arsenal are still leading in that category this season and the surprise has been Song as Arsenal’s leading supplier.

Song’s other numbers are impressive as well: he keeps the ball, he passes at a very high rate, he has a range of passes that he can make, averages two key passes per game and has an assist every other game to lead the team in that category. The only blot on his form book is the red card he received retroactively for stamping on Joey Barton.

Arteta has also been impressive and his long range passing numbers add a new dimension to Arsenal’s attack. I can’t believe that he’s averaging 6 long balls per game and 3.5 key passes and still passing at a 91% rate. Also he’s very stingy in the turnovers department, matching Song in those numbers.

My sense is that Arteta would be the most natural fit for the Cesc role because his key passes per game number is really impressive. It’s only a matter of time before he changes those key passes into assists. But it looks like Ramsey is being pushed up into the forward midfielder role there by the manager (or maybe he’s just taking it from Arteta). This is a shame because Ramsey’s numbers show a player who isn’t mature enough, yet, to take over the responsibility as Arsenal playmaker. Ramsey would benefit playing deeper where Arteta is obviously (you can’t average 6 long balls per game playing in the hole) currently playing.

Tactically, I would change things a bit until Wilshere returns. I would put Ramsey and Song as the double-pivot and play Arteta in the purely advanced role. See if Arteta can press high up the pitch for Arsenal, like Cesc used to do, and see what he can do with the creative role. This wouldn’t “kill” Ramsey as young players benefit from playing deeper early in their career where they can learn to see plays develop. The proof of that is in Song’s impressive numbers this season.

Moreover, Song is getting his impressive numbers from the defensive midfield position, when he’s not playing center half. No change is necessary for Song, then, and for him to have key passing numbers and assists that high from so deep is even more impressive.

The other number I love seeing is that all of the Arsenal midfielders listed above have scored a goal for Arsenal in the League. Going forward it’s a luxury to have midfielders wh0 can make late runs and get goals. So, that’s a very positive change that the team has made.

No one player was ever going to be able to replace Cesc. My sense is that in the absence of Cesc, though, Arsenal’s midfielders are still sorting out who will take over that mantle. In the mean-time, Arsenal seem to be playing Cesc by committee.

Which is what happens when you lose such an important player.

Bookmark It

Grimbo’s Mega Column: Transferring interest to football related stuff…

Grimbo — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:49:58 +0000

Work has been utterly batshit for me with more meetings than a UN Security council going on this week… again it’s cut me out of the loop of the shenanigans of transfer idiocy (more on that in a minute) and in fact it forced me into a twitterless state for the second time in two weeks as again, I had the game on record on my home DVR for watching when I returned from meetings in San Jose. I must apologise to any friends I ignored over this period, but I’m glad I did.

After quite literally fighting my way back to the Oasis that is Marin, in the sea of Bay Area madness, I plonked my arse down on the sofa completely ignorant of what was to follow. After the initial tirade of swearing that accompanied that first Udenise goal and a 10 second break while I whizzed through the wankish nonsense of the utter toss that is the Fox Soccer Channel’s commentary team, I saw something I’ve not seen in a long time – a half time substitution that changed the game.

I won’t dwell on the result too much as there are far better scribes then I at picking the details apart with more finesse then a brain surgeon, although there are also those that try to do the same thing with a pickaxe handle – mentioning no names. What I will say is there’s something very gritty and determined about this squad… something not seen in a while: A hint of TonyAdamish sheer bloody-mindedness that makes me feel all warm and gushy myself. So, despite the heart-attack there are many, many positives to take from this result, not the least of which is another year in the Cashpions League. While writing this the results came in for the groups and while ours is no doubt a tough drawer (and Utd’s is funking easy as per usual) I was just delighted to see Shitty get it right in the arse with the worst possible draw they could have gotten. Funnily enough that leads me on to the Faux Real Madrid and some recent news.

Anyone that’s read my stuff before already knows that I don’t buy 99% of the bullsh*t that surrounds mass media’s approach to the ‘crisis’ going on at the Emirates, to them it was just a way of bumping up their clicks to make themselves more cash – to us it’s taken infighting amongst Gooners to Libyan levels. There is no doubt that many of the numerous problems in this season’s transfer window were caused by the club (notice I’m not saying Wenger here, I think he’s been fighting the board a great deal) but most of it I suspected was caused by external sources. Now we’re starting to find out just what qualifies as an external source… The Nasrigas saga is finally at an end and the truth about both transfers seems to be poking it’s ugly little head out of the trench: it is a sad fact that the two moves have a lot in common… exactly as I thought in one case, and alarmingly so in the other.

The commonality to which I allude is the tapping up of our players by friends, family, colleagues and/or national team-mates. I think I mentioned in a recent post that in my opinion the whole Cesc thing was really down to his mates; Careless Pooyol, Geretard Prique and his family chipping away at him for years. Yes, yes, Xavi had pictures of Cesc’s DNA (Dick, Nuts & Arse) up in his locker but it’s the former cnuts that were always posting sweet nothings in his tweears. That was expected and almost inevitable but what WASN’T expected was the parting shots from Na$ri that painted a horrific picture for me.

For those of you that don’t already know, it appears that Paddy Vieira is the one that has been tapping up Na$ri – that and a host of ex Arsenal players that have all funked off to the endless well of ca$h that is Shitty. That’s right – PV4 funked us over and made this summer one of the most unbearable I can remember. PATRICK VIEIRA! The same PV4 that gave us so much joy; master of the invincibles and giant of the game. The Barca situation I expected, but for one whom many Gooners consider one of our OWN to dry shaft us without lube in this fashion, I certainly did not. The Cesc thing hurt as I’ve stated in a previous post… “in the divorce the Cesc puppy chose Barca and not us” but Paddy screwing us over? Well that feels like it did when I found out my ex-wife was diddling my ex-best friend. O-H-M-Y-G-O-D-T-H-A-T-C-A-N-T-B-E-T-R-U-E (vomits).

It has outlined to me just how funking useless FIFA is as an organising body, they’re completely toothless in this new cash rich reality. Now that Shitty can outbid anyone, even the rich idiots at Real, and pay players such monumentally stupid amounts of cash, they’ve shown that the rules are pointless – with their fake Stadium naming rights deal they’ve taken the financial fair play rules and wiped their arse with them. With PV4’s tapping of Na$ri the rules surrounding player tampering are now beyond doubt about useful as a bullet-proof vest made of streaky bacon or as relevant as an IQ test is to your average Totteringham Fan (pointless). Simply put; it’s impossible to track, trace and enforce the personal relationships of ‘club ambassadors’ the likes of Vieira.

It is now obvious to yours truly that it’s more important than ever for Arsenal’s famous hush-hush policy in the transfer market to become an iron-curtain of STFU. The club needs to stop any information on targets getting out because as soon as it becomes known who we’re in for, everyone with more cash than brains is going to step in and pinch our targets and we’ll be faced with more Mata-esque situations. I can fully believe that Mata had been targeted by us, and was a possible signing all the way up until Torres gave him a buzz and mentioned the size of the Abramovich bank account, which probably turned his head faster than a Joey Barton dive. This fits in with the screeching halt of commentary that was ongoing about Mata to AFC – forget that ‘buyout clause’ nonsense – this was a player’s head being turned plain and simple and as soon as that happened we stopped even talking to them.

Something else has occurred to me about the above scenario… it strikes me that both SAF and AW had seen this situation developing and both seemingly chose an entirely different strategy. SAF bought early and as a result at high cost, De Gea, Young & Jones were all bought at a high premium to ensure the deals went through and personally at prices that are laughable. AW, I believe, truly thought he could keep Cesc around for one more year due to his close relationship, but as the Na$ri situation seems to have been ongoing since Jan (isn’t it ironic that his dip in form was at the same time as his contract rejection began?) his exit was a matter of time and dosh. AW also knew that any public targets would instantly attract the attentions of clubs that we couldn’t compete with, so he’s waited until the rich clubs filled their births before making his moves as this would guarantee that they couldn’t move for his targets… risky, but more fiscally responsible with the funds we have and ultimately it could prove to pay dividends. The fly in the ointment was that the talks with Cesc & Na$ri tied up ‘potential’ transfer budget, as if we were going to get Na$ri to re-sign, then that money would come out of the budget as it always has. The final factor is that £25 million looks to have been kept aside in case we didn’t qualify for the Cashpion’s League as we have a heavy wage bill and that would have been covered.

Consequently – all the “spend some f*cking money” chanting in the world would not have made a blind bit of difference as AW most likely could not spend until he knew the fates of a) Cesc b) Na$ri c) CL and d) if his targets were secure. Added to the usual difficulty of transfers it must be flippin’ bonkers at the Emirates right now as this is a hard, if affordable, way of doing business.

Now we know the lay of the land in the three important cases, the next week may well be interesting.

Bookmark It

Cesc la Vie

Tim — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 15:00:36 +0000

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death. — Elie Wiesel

Abstracted from the context of the interview given to US News and World Report in 1986, the Elie Wiesel quote above is often mangled into a simple “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.” I’ve been guilty of using the abbreviated quote myself and while the difference between love and hate is one component of what Wiesel is trying to express the ultimate expression of indifference is not when one stops loving but when one stops caring about life.

The thing that is misunderstood about the Wiesel quote is that this is not a maxim to live your life by. Why would you want to be indifferent to human suffering? Or worse, indifferent to love?

The wise man holds on to all of the love that he can because he knows that like life, love is constantly teetering on the edge of the abyss of indifference. And indifference is a lonely, inhuman place. After all, isn’t passion one of the very things that makes us human?

But I’m talking about real life there. Not the emotions one feels for a famous actor, musician, artist, or even an athlete. I can’t say that I loved Cesc Fabregas because I didn’t. But I did appreciate what he did for Arsenal, and while I’m trying to accept what happened, I’m far from indifferent.

I first saw Cesc play live at Highbury, when Arsenal beat Charlton 3-0 in March of 2006. Arsenal were in the midst of what I look back and see was their best run of form in the last 5 years. They would make it to the Champions League Final that year and the people around me watched in astonishment as this 18 year old kid ran Arsenal’s midfield. “He’s not even 19 yet” I kept hearing over and over with hushed wonderment in their voices — as if saying it too loud would break the spell. Someone must have spoken too loud because in that auspicious final, Arsenal lost to Barcelona.

The next season I returned to see Arsenal play Reading to a 2-1 win at Ashburton Grove. Arsenal wobbled significantly in that first season at the Emirates and the day was marked by tense moments toward the end of the game when Cesc scored an own goal. But standing there drenched in the cold spring sunlight we chanted encouragement to the young man. How could you get on this kid’s back? He was our future.

I returned the next year, for a freezing Monday night match against the old enemy Blackburn. Arsenal went five points clear at the top of the table that night thanks to goals from Senderos and Adebayor but disaster loomed as Arsenal were destroyed by Man U in the FA Cup and Eduardo was scythed down by Taylor at the end of that month. If you remember that Cesc played in the Carling Cup loss to Chelsea, it was the third real chance at a trophy that Cesc missed out on while playing for Arsenal.

I’ve also seen what happens when we are missing Cesc: the dour 0-0 draw with Sunderland, the debut of Andrei Arshavin, which Cesc sat out nursing an injury. It was a part of a string of games which Cesc missed and in which Arsenal lacked real creativity going forward. I returned the next year to see two games, Burnley and Porto. Arsenal beat Burnley 3-1 with the Spaniard netting the opener on the 34th minute and I didn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last time I would see Cesc play live for Arsenal and in what is something of a running theme Cesc was withdrawn after the 39th minute. Later that week, Arsenal beat Porto 5-0 and the match was as notable for the absence of Cesc as the emergence of Samir Nasri.

And then, this year, the Carling Cup final. I can’t help but think if Cesc had been healthy his class and poise in midfield would have opened Birmingham and we would be talking about a trophy that Cesc helped Arsenal win instead of another trophy that slipped through his fingers. As it turned out, Cesc sat in the stands and watched on as a familiar theme played out on the pitch: Arsenal, so close and yet so far away.

And now here we are, Cesc has officially signed for Barcelona and far from indifference I’m feeling a bit out outrage. I’m not so angry at Cesc, I’ve gotten over him and accepted what happened, I’m angry that the club lost one of the best midfielders in the world and that the terms of the agreement (released by Barcelona) say that we will get a mere £12.7m up front, another £12.7m in October (when we can’t use it to bolster the squad), less than a million quid each year after that, and some incentive payments that I really don’t care about because I couldn’t give two fucks if Barcelona ever win anything ever again.

Then, like a kick in the teeth, Barcelona announce that Cesc has a £175m release clause in his contract. Make no mistake, this is Barcelona bragging that they got a £175m midfielder for essentially £25m, after the Premier League season has already started and just one day before Arsenal play a crucial Champions League qualifier.

I’m also downright livid that Arsenal have allowed this to happen. My feeling is that we didn’t fight for Cesc hard enough and in the end, it makes me wonder if the board and the manager aren’t suffering from a bit of that foul humor indifference. What would have happened this Summer if on day one, Arsenal had aggressively bid on a player like Nuri Sahin? Or Thiago Silva? What would have happened if Arsenal brought in the reinforcements that everyone knows that Arsenal need? Could that have made the difference for Cesc?

But worse than “what could have happened” what has actually happened to this club that fans chide other fans for wanting big name signings? “Everyone knows Arsene doesn’t do that.” Why not? Why can’t we dream? Isn’t sports about big dreams?

I really wish I could just turn on the indifference and say C’esc la Vie if you will but I can’t. I get the sense that there’s a real problem at the club at the moment and that we are on the verge of losing a lot of supporters to indifference. There are some real die hard fans out there who deserve a knighthood for their positivity. And maybe that’s what we need, faith.

I really want to believe and I’m not calling for anyone to be sacked.

I’d rather that Arsenal took the next 15 days and really make a splash in the transfer market and not just buy for buying’s sake but a purchase that will get this club back on track.

The need has been evident for 6 years and is now glaring: spend some fucking money.

Bookmark It

Best and worst possible outcomes for the season ahead

Tim — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:03:21 +0000

This morning, prior to making the trip up to Newcastle, Arsene Wenger held what was arguably the strangest press conference I have seen in the last five years and it left me wondering ‘what the hell is going on?’

The presser started with a number of softball questions posed by the guy who works for Arsenal and who always does a companion interview to the pre-match presser. You’ve heard his voice before, in fact he’s the one who asked Wenger about Cesc and Nasri in this free video from yesterday.

I’m not sure this sat well with the assembled press corpse because they started hostile and grew ever more hostile as the interview went on. At one point, some Scottish journalist basically just raised his voice and talked over Wenger when the Arsenal manager tried to cut him off. The Scottish guy (I think, he could have been High Geordie) had asked a valid question too: given what has gone on this Summer, would winning the Premier League this year be your best achievement ever? Wenger refused to answer with his normal “I don’t judge myself, I let others do that” line and that’s when the High Geordie guy really started pressing Arsene.

Of course all this animosity came because Wenger essentially refused to admit that Cesc is leaving, that Nasri is leaving, and that Arsenal are looking for replacements. When asked, his answer was simple:

I expect nobody to leave the club.

Now, ok, so… erm… WHAT? And then when asked if that meant Nasri and Fabregas were staying he replied:

That’s a good conclusion from my statement.

And then immediately climbed down from that…

I cannot say it will never happen, I cannot say it will happen. At the moment there is no news and if we have any news to give you, I promise you we will do it.

What we want today is to focus on the players who play tomorrow and not the players who do not play. The players who can help the club achieve performances are more important than the players who don’t.

I will decide what is best for the club. The first quality for a player is to have talent, the second is wanting to play where he is. You demand commitment to the club and the desire to achieve things. That is only possible if you really want to do it.

I often get the feeling that Wenger likes to mess with the press and they return the favor by asking him the same question over and over with a variation in the wording. I didn’t find it cute this morning, though, I actually found his little grin before saying certain things and the big dodge that the he kept doing annoying.

And then the High Geordie guy asked what I thought was the best question of the day: what would be the best and worst possible outcomes to this season? He had to shout over Wenger (who didn’t want to answer the question) to get it out and in typical Wenger style he refused to answer.

So here, let me answer it for him and this will serve as our temporary season preview. After all, how can we have a real season preview when we don’t even know what the squad will look like in two weeks?

As it stands right now 7:15am PST, the hugely reliable L’Equipe is reporting that Cesc will sign for Barcelona in mere hours. That means Arsenal will be missing a midfielder who is so influential that even half ass-ed performances last year looked pretty good. Add in that Samir Nasri has clearly been tapped up, with help from the press, and has decided to call in sick to work until set free and that is 2/3 of Arsenal most influential players out the door.

That gives Arsene Wenger just a few weeks to replace two players who formed the core of Arsenal’s attack last season. And incredibly, he’s saying that Arsenal don’t have any irons in the fire putting the whole Jadson to Arsenal story to bed for the moment. Not that I was sitting here fingering my trophy in excitement over a 5’6″ tall, 27 year old, virtual unknown, who plays for Waxtap.

I’m not playing the negative card here. I’m looking at this team, a team which if they had re-signed both Cesc and Nasri and had them happy and practicing all Summer could have made a push for the title. Gervinho is the perfect addition, Vermaelen is like a new signing, Ramsey and Wilshere are stronger, Robin van Persie is on an absolute goal-scoring tear, Koscielny is a year older and looks to have bulked up, Djourou is a good backup, Miyaichi looks like he will be fun to watch, Szczesny might mature this season, and despite some weaknesses in the backup positions, it’s a pretty good overall team.

Yes there are question marks at left back, but when I saw Clichy’s performance in the Charity Shield I knew that Arsene had made the right decision.

But if you take Cesc and Nasri out and you replace them with Jadson, the team is weaker and that’s not taking anything away from Jadson. He’s just not Cesc. I’d love for him to prove me wrong and while he’s being compared to Eduardo I’m not so sure of that. Eduardo had an incredible goal-scoring record when he arrived to replace Henry. Jadson has sort of floated in and out of obscurity and while I’ve seen his videos and they look like he might add some flair it’s not his technical ability I worry over, it’s whether he has the personality to run the midfield in a top level Premier League team.

So, for me, the best possible outcome for this season is that we conclude the Cesc and Nasri things, get someone in to replace them, buy a center back and fight for fourth place while the team learns to play together. Throw in a decent cup run in the Carling or FA cups and I’ll be happy.

The worst possible outcome? Cesc leaves but we keep Nasri who basically gives us the finger and plays when he wants, there’s an early exit from the Champions League, early losses in any of the League games, no replacement for Cesc, and a huge pile of money goes unspent as Arsenal hang around 5th place all season.

Actually, the worst possible outcome from this Summer has already happened. Because of our insane transfer dealings, for the first time since I started watching Arsenal, I’m not excited for the new season, and I don’t feel like this is a championship challenging team.

Gods damnit… I just want football to be fun again.

Bookmark It

The five stages of breaking up with Cesc

Tim — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 16:35:44 +0000

Denial — “Cesc is not leaving, I haven’t heard anything on the dot com so it can’t be true. Besides, Arsene Wenger wouldn’t let both Cesc and Nasri leave in the same Summer and it makes much more sense to keep Cesc for one more year, even if he’s unhappy, and sell Nasri to moneybags city.”

Some other bloggers/commenters would say that I’ve been suffering this for six years. I prefer to think of myself as simply optimistic rather than suffering denial but whatever. Looking back I have to admit that I probably suffered denial over the Cesc/Nasri situation and now here we are two days from the season kickoff and a Champions League qualifier and this hasn’t been sorted which is really making me…

Anger — “Screw Cesc then! If he wants to go, let him. He’ll be leaving Arsenal without having won a single trophy and he’ll never appear on any list of greatest Gunners. He could have been the best ever but now he’s just another traitor who not only left Arsenal on the day before opening day but screwed us over on the transfer fee by limiting his transfer options. Oh yea, and Buck Farcelona too, I’ll be rooting for Real Madrid from now on.*”

I am more than a little angry that Arsenal are set to only get £35m for a player who I feel would go for a lot more on the open market and I can’t help but feel that is Cesc’s fault in a big way. I’m also angry that Wenger invested 6 years in this player and developed a system tailor made to express his talents and he leaves just at the time when that should start to pay dividends. Of course I’m also pissed off that Barcelona’s tactics payed such huge dividends. And finally, I’m angry that he is leaving now rather than a month ago because Arsenal are going to have a really hard time replacing him. But…

Bargaining — “Maybe it will be ok if we get Mata or any of the Argentinian midfielders that Tim constantly big-ups on 7amkickoff? Hey wait… doesn’t this mean Arsenal will have £65-70m that we can reinvest? Could we get Benzema? Sneijder? YES SNEIJDER! Let’s beat Man U to a signing!”

Buying Benzema or Sneidjer would be possible in terms of transfer funds available but Arsenal would have to break their salary structure because both of those players currently make more than our top salary and would demand a pay raise in the transfer. Still, we would have an absolute ton of money after the sales of Cesc and Nasri, plus their combined salaries, couldn’t we put some money into a signing bonus or something and keep the salary structure the same while paying these guys? Furthermore, Sneijder is 27 and a proven winner. He would be the perfect player to guide young Ramsey and Wilshere through their formative years. In fact, I think he would be better than Cesc, Cesc never won anything at Arsenal, remember?

Depression — “You know Arsene would never do that.”

For the first time I really don’t know what to think. Maybe the Arsenal youth system is a failure? Arsenal’s youth system is like panning for gold: they sift through tons of young talent at the club by paying them big salaries at a young age and hope that will pay off when they discover a nugget or two. But it’s really hard (note not impossible) to win with youth and Arsenal haven’t won any trophies which gives big name players a stick to beat us with while saying that they don’t want to sign for Arsenal. And the fact is that clubs like Manchester City and Chelsea can take away any of our top talent young by offering lucrative contracts that we can’t match. Not only that but the salary structure makes it impossible to offload guys like Almunia.

This is a huge mess and really needs to be sorted out but where do we even start? Ugh…

Acceptance — “Right. Well, Cesc is off and I suspect Nasri as well. I’ve argued before that selling Cesc means blowing this team up and maybe that will actually be good for us as a club and as an increasingly divided and angry fanbase?”

If Cesc leaves then what’s done is done. You can’t sit around wondering what might have been, you know what went wrong, so it is truly time for a clean break and to start over. Stop sitting around in your underwear eating pop tarts. Shave, take a shower, put on some cologne, get out of the house and go meet some other people. There’s plenty of Cesc in the sea.

My opinion is that Arsene needs to bring in a big name player to replace Cesc and show the fans, and the players, that Arsenal are still a big team. If that means breaking the salary structure then so be it. If that means “paying over the odds” for that player’s signature then so be it. Get that guy in here now.

If Arsenal can’t do that then it might be time for an even bigger change. And then we can start grieving all over again.

*Rooting for Real Madrid is a cry for help.

Bookmark It

Cain and unable

Tim — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 14:46:36 +0000

Cain and Abel

Do you know how many stories have been inspired by just a few paragraphs in the Christian Bible? Lots. Let me tell you!

I was sitting here thinking of a retelling of the Cain and Abel story except with Cesc and Nasri as the two brothers but I couldn’t quite get my head around it.

The best I could come up with is that they are two brothers who played football together. One was a creative midfielder and the other was a goalscoring midfielder. When it came time to sacrifice in the name of the Lord, neither one pleased Him because they were both being selfish and not looking out for Arsenal’s best interests. So the Lord banished them both and forced them to wear the mark of the beasts on their chest for all eternity.

Nasri went to Man City where he was de jonged daily in practice by the Mad Balloteli and his crew of crazy tacklers. But being immortal he would go home to his luxury townhouse and put an icepack on it then get up the next day, count the £25,000 he made that morning, and go get de jonged again all the while singing we’re in the money.

As for Cesc, well, yeah, that’s some banishment huh? Send the kid back to his hometown where the weather is always temperate and the footballers aren’t allowed to break legs. While he’s there he gets to play nice football and collect a bunch of trophies. Ouch.

See.

That doesn’t really work.

Maybe I could re-imagine the whole thing as Job and visit a bunch of horrors on them and their families!

Disruptions

Everyone is unsettled these days. The people are rioting. There might not be any football this weekend. The dollar is worthless. America is now a AAplusgood bond rating. Cesc is unsettled by two years of non-stop tapping up. Nasri is unsettled by the thought of taking a treasure bath (not safe for work, if anyone still has a job) in Manchester. Laurent Blanc is unsettled because Nasri is unsettled. Marouane Chamakh is unsettled because Cesc and Nasri are unsettled. And I am unsettled daily by these increasingly bizarre 125 years of Arsenal Football Club columns.

Meanwhile, Sylvain Distin is the only person on earth who is calm as a cucumber over Phil Jagielka. Right, so Scott Dann it is, eh?

I think two things will help settle me down. The first would be if Arsenal finished up their transfer work so that we can see what the team is like and then really start wringing our hands.

I’m not a talent scout but I’ve looked and there is no one in world football right now who is available that can replace one or both of those guys. Juan Mata has great touch and certainly attacking vision but he’s far too slight for me. Maybe Josip Illicic from Palermo? See, I don’t know.

But if the delay has been that we are waiting until we can find the right three guys (replace Cesc and Nasri and buy Scott Dann — UGH) then I have to admit I’m not all the way to unsettled quite yet but I’m getting there.

The second thing that would settle my nerves is if we just started playing some damn football already. OR, cancel this weekend’s games and let Arsenal have another week to find the three footballers we might need!

Right… I just have to tell myself over and over to keep calm and carry on.

Lastly

I read Goonerholic‘s post where he posits the addition of Miyaichi and Chamberlain to Theo and Gervinho will give Arsenal pace up front and thus bring back the days of Arsenal’s rapier-like counter attacks. In theory I agree but in reality I’ve seen too many teams pack their back 8 and sit super deep to neutralize Theo and I don’t see that changing.

What Arsenal need are players who will shoot from distance or who can break through opposition defenses with a creative dribble. If they do that then the opposition will need to come out and then that will open space for pacy forwards.

The other option is for Arsenal to play more defensive football. Let the opponents have the ball a bit more. Let them attack a bit more. And then hit them on the counter attack.

That’s what we did to Barcelona. Watch for yourself.

Could you imagine that though? Arsenal let Stoke have the ball in our half for a while. They would spend the entire time trying to kick it off an Arsenal player so they could get a throw in.

Bookmark It

A tale of two clubs

Tim — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:48:55 +0000

“Nil Satis Nisi Optimum“

It’s been six years.

Six long years.

Since Everton finished in the top four.

I was reminded of this fact when some dauntless but not quite intrepid reporter penned a piece on the tribulations of my favorite Merseyside club, Everton. I have no problem admitting that I like Everton. I think of them as the plucky little team in the big city that almost could. And when Everton got to fourth place back in 2004-2005, pushing Liverpool out, I bought a shirt for a friend with the Champions League patches on it. He is a die hard Everton fan, right after Nottingham Forrest which is his actual favorite team.

Everton, always a bridesmaid, I guess.

Everton were dumped out of Europe so quickly that the shirt I bought him is actually kind of shameful to wear and I never see him in it. I have a shirt like that too. Last year’s Carling Cup Final kit, where I foolishly got the little writing on the front that said “Carling Cup Final, Wembley 2011″

It’s my shirt of shame. I don’t wear it in public despite the fact that I should. I should be proud that my team got there and that I am lucky enough to afford to go to England and see my beloved Arsenal play in a Carling Cup final. Not many people on earth could say that they did that.

The similarities between Arsenal and Everton are kind of eerie except on a bit of a different scale. In Everton there’s a concerned group of fans called the Blue Union which is an amalgam of several supporter’s groups who are tired of the same old 7th place finishes and 17 year old stadium. They issued a press release that contained this bullet point.

That the group would actively embark on a campaign to lobby local, regional and national media outlets to report on the true facts surrounding the stagnation of Everton Football Club, the lack of transparency and accountability within “The Peoples Club” (a moniker, tellingly, that the club have ceased to promote).

And we all know about what’s happening down in our neck of the woods where words like stagnation, transparency, and accountability are similarly used to describe Arsenal’s boardroom dealings.

Why can’t we just buy a _________? Everton would fill in striker, Arsenal, well, you guys all have different wishes and I’m not sure that most would be happy with just one signing. Because if they were, they would be happy, because Arsenal did just spend untold millions on Gervinho. Evertonians, I dare say, would be over the moon by a player like Gervinho coming into their club.

Arsenal’s transfer window isn’t closed just yet and while I am getting nervous I’m not ready to sound the alarm just yet. Not only that but I think there are some positive signs this morning.

Silent Stan jetted in last night to watch Arsenal’s open practice and reportedly gave Arsene Wenger the green light to tell Barcelona to stick their desultory £28m bid for Cesc Fabregas right up their cules. It is starting to look like Arsene was playing hardball with Barcelona over Cesc and the reason he was holding on to Nasri so hard was for insurance. Same with Mata, had Farcelona coughed up the £40m Arsenal put on Cesc, Arsene would have gone out and bought Mata. I have no doubt.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Wenger calls a meeting with Cesc and tells him he’s playing in the Champions League home opener against Udinese. That very next day, we will sell Nasri and use the money to buy a central defender, probably Jagielka but don’t rule out the possibility of Cahill.

And that will complete Arsenal’s transfer activity.

If Arsene manages to pull that off, it will have to go down as one of Arsene Wenger’s most brilliant transfer seasons ever. Not only would he have strengthened the team with the signing of Gervinho, but also kept one of the best midfielders in the world, got rid of a player who floated in and out of games, and used the insane sum City paid to buy an English center half.

I think we all might have to put the black scarves away for a few weeks after that. After all, nothing but the best is good enough for Arsenal.

Bookmark It

Blind speculation

Tim — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 14:04:50 +0000

This Summer has been probably the weirdest Summer I can remember. I can see facts for myself, with my own two eyes, and still not know what to believe. Take the Joel Campbell situation as the prime example.

One day we are talking to him and the kid’s dad is saying that he’s signed for Arsenal and the next day the deal is off. Then a few weeks later the kid tells the press:

We are talking to Arsenal again, I have not signed yet, but I’m waiting to hear from my agents.

What? Ok, I guess. Because how can I have an opinion on this guy when I’ve only seen three video clips, two of which were on Russian based RUTUBE?

Speaking of which, you have to watch the latest two videos over on 101greatgoals. Campbell scored two goals against Australia and the first goal is really one of the ugliest goals you’ll ever see as he stumbles around for a few seconds and finally, falling over, scores. And the second goal is the complete opposite as he pokes home a cross on the volley with insanely great body control, touch, and timing.

Then there’s Edwin van der Sar’s testimonial where Dennis Bergkamp scores a fine goal. I was feeling all warm inside as I watched him slot home nicely off another player’s layoff and then my good feelings turned to disgust as I noticed that was Wayne Rooney supplying Bergkamp the pass and disgust to nausea as I saw him put his arm around Wayne Rooney’s neck. Why Dennis?

Obsessively checking my RSS feed for news over any of the dozen or so transfers that Arsenal are currently linked to doesn’t help. One minute I’m reading that Gary Cahill is a Liverpool target which has me stressed out not because I’m tired of the idea that Arsenal missed out on another transfer but because I’m dreading the reaction to the perception that Arsenal have missed out.

I’m going to say that again, I’m not dreading “missing out” on Gary Cahill because I’ve seen so many players linked to Arsenal who we have “missed out” on turn to shit (Joke Hole anyone?) that I’m fine with us not landing him. I’m dreading the Arsenal supporter’s reaction to the news that Cahill signed somewhere else. Because that reaction is dredged in nationalism, coated in disappointment, dipped in hyperbole, and deep fried in the butterfat of desperation.

Speaking of, I guess we’ve missed out on Juan Mata. Fire up the second deep fryer ma, Cahill’s got company!

All I have to say is thank the gods that LITERALLY the next article in my RSS feed is Owen Coyle refuting the story that Liverpool have made an approach for Cahill. But you know what’s more amazing? This direct quote from the article, please note the reporter’s “reporting” is left in intentionally:

However, the latest report – although it does appear somewhat mild – seems to have irritated Coyle.

“This story is without a shred of foundation,” he said.

“It is irresponsible. To just reel words off is in poor taste.

“Nothing surprises you in football but people should have more knowledge of the background for anything before they write it.

“It doesn’t faze me. I am not raging about it. I am just making a point.”

The odds would still seem to be stacked against Cahill being at Bolton by the time the present transfer window closes in September.

Yeah, what a dick Coyle is for getting irritated by reporters who use facts and direct quotes from sources that refute exactly what you are reporting in order to discredit the source that they are quoting. Not only that, but then go ahead and throw in some speculation to further discredit what your source just said. In-fucking-credible.

Then there’s the Cesc Fabregas saga, which the press complain about as a saga, which ignores the fact that they created the saga, oh what a saga the saga about Cesc’s saga is… Apparently, Arsenal are planning on playing Cesc in the pre-season friendly against Benfica which is angering Cesc. Not only that, but Cesc is forcing through the transfer, despite practicing today with the first team. Then there’s the whole team photo issue with Cesc either lining up, not lining up, or God conveniently lashing down rain in order to help Cesc get out of the team photo.

The reporting on the minutae of this transfer is mind blowing and even more mind blowing is that I am reporting on the reporting. Does anyone want to write a report on my report? If so, please, make it interesting. I’m thinking a headline like “Tim takes dump, Daily Fail reports corn found.”

You want some pure speculation? Ok, I read today that Barcelona pawned that midfielder to Chelsea for 5 million Euros and that there are two buy back clauses, one for 10m next year and one for 15m the next year. With that money in pocket, Barcelona will make a final offer to Arsenal this week. It will be an insulting offer, but like Arseblog said today, that’s all that Barcelona know how to do. Cesc will forfeit his loyalty bonus which will get Arsenal the £40m they want from the deal and everything will be done by Monday. That’s the real reason Cesc is training with the team and flying to Portugal.

THAT IS HOW EASY IT IS TO BE A SPORTS REPORTER.

As an aside, you can see how desperate Barcelona are to sign Cesc by the deals they are offering other teams. First there was the bizarre transfer of Bojan to Roma with an incredible forced buyback clause and then there’s this deal over Romeu with another bizarre buyback clause.

All of this overshadows the real reporting that could be done. For example, Theo and Wilshere’s ankles look to be fit for the start of the season and conveniently not playing in some pointless international friendly. Did you know that? If so, +1 for you. Or how about Chamakh rejecting a move to Roma in order to prove himself at Arsenal? Did you know that Arsenal could face powerhouse Udinese in the Champions League qualifiers? Did you also know that Udinese sold its two best players this Summer? Can you name them? And finally, did you know that Liverpool have shipped 15 goal this Summer and that Martin Keown is saying that they need to strengthen in defense if they are going to have any chance of reaching the top four?

Let’s not let any facts above get in the way of us begging for Arsenal to sign a sociopath like Joey Barton. Because that’s what Arsenal have been lacking for the last six years: a mediocre midfielder with a history of crimes on and off the field so long he makes Rasheed Wallace look like St. Swithins. He sure could help out Arsenal by teaching Jack Wilshere the proper technique for putting a cigar out in Sanchez Watt’s eye. Or show Theo how to go out on the lash and beat the shit out of innocent people. Or teach Gibbs how to knee people in the back on the field.

What a guy.

What a Summer.

Bookmark It

@Joey7Barton is the biggest news story since WWII

Tim — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:43:17 +0000

The insanity rolls on…

First, I checked my spam filter this morning and crazy person/Tottenham supporter/hariwool is still posting comments. He’s posted something like 6,000 words in the last two days and all of them have gone into the spam filter. So while I applaud his tenacity, what’s really amazing is that it’s all the same arguments we’ve seen over and over again just cut up and reformulated. Which makes me wonder if there isn’t some kind of “Arsenal rant generator” out there on the internet — I mean apart from those blogs who are paid Arsenal ranters.

Second, I’ve written about Scott Dann before under the headline If Scott Dann is the answer what is the question? Just to sum up the article, Scott Dann is not very good in the air (winning just 54% of his aerial duels just like Koscielny and Squillaci and below Djourou) he only completed 76% of his passes, he had a mere 20 appearances last season, and he’s not even particularly tall or robust. And now we are supposedly sending our chief scout to see him play against Derby. Maybe we are scouting one of the Derby defenders while we are at it?

Third, having now slagged off Scott Dann I will get the inevitable “he’s a decent player” and “stats don’t show everything” or “he’s a natural leader and will bring steele to Arsenal” replies which will only happen because he’s British. If he was French and I posted the exact same argument, backed up as it is with numbers, there would be any number of people who would say “Fucking Wenger, get a clue, buy British!” etc.

Fourth, ok so this is just an extension of the other two but still, fourth: if Scott Dann is an actual Arsenal target what does that say about our ambitions as a club? Right? Shouldn’t Arsenal be buying Thiago Silva and not a player who wasn’t even the best defender on a team full of defenders who played almost exclusively defensive football and still allowed 58 goals which was enough to give them the 8th worst defense in the League as they were relegated? I’m struggling to see how anyone off that team can improve anything at Arsenal except our quota of Englishmen.

Fifth, speaking of Arsenal’s Englishmen, Kyle Bartley has signed a new deal with the club. I’m a bit surprised because Arsenal don’t typically offer deals to kids who are 20 unless they plan on keeping the player and I was under the impression that he was on his way out. So I think this is great news because I would much rather Arsenal keep Bartley and give him some playing time than pay £10m for garbage like Scott Dann. Where do you fall on this? Is Bartley now just another of the “overpaid Arsenal wastrels” or does he have “bottle” and is he full of “steele and grit?” You must choose one side or the other and do so now.

Sixth, the Joey Barton tweet-a-thon enters it’s 4th day and he has really pulled out all the stops with a quote of the day and a song of the day. Plus he’s saying he’d love to play for Arsenal, but only if we offer him £70,000 a week.

I’m sorry but the only things Joey Barton would add to Arsenal is much needed “getting away with insane fouls” and “assaulting his teammates.” Oh, and he’d also bring “complaining about your teammates and the club on twitter while making it sound like you’re a martyr because the company that pays you to be the face of the company doesn’t want you shitting all over them.”

Barton’s quote of the day is a doozy: If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington. He does realize that George Washington is talking about government control of free speech, right? He does realize then when you are paid £60,000 a week to play football and be an ambassador for your club that you forfeit the right to “free speech,” right? In fact, I’d be surprised to the core if his contract doesn’t have explicit stipulations that prohibit him talking bad about the owner, the club, or other players.

But hey, it’s fun to watch and in fact, I’d love to add to his repretiore of George Washington quotes. That’s why I went to brainyquotes.com and pulled a list of Washington’s favorite sayings. Here’s my favorite:

Bad seed is a robbery of the worst kind: for your pocket-book not only suffers by it, but your preparations are lost and a season passes away unimproved.

Yes, that’s a metaphor.

Where am I? Seventh? Uhh, seventh, Barcelona are still pawning off players in order to raise enough money to make a bid that will still be lower than Arsenal’s firm asking price. Could you imagine if I did what Barcelona are doing at my local gas station?

Me: Ohhh, looks like 20 gallons at $4 a gallon, how about $45?

Attendant: Uhhh, it’s $80.

Me: (looking around) does anyone want to buy this watch? (Back to the attendant) ok, I just sold the watch but I bought some tires and now I’m kind of broke. How about, how about $35?

Attendant: I’m going to call the police. It’s $80, sir.

Me: Damn, I don’t have $80. Can we get the gas back out of the car? I’m not sure I actually need gas.

Attendant: You pumped, you pay. $80.

Me: Look, I’m trying to be respectful here but we all know that the gas really wants to be in my car. Plus, I’m from Texas and so this is really my gas anyway so let’s just agree that $50 is a good deal for you because you kind of stole the gas from me anyway. Ok. $45 it is, right?

Etc.

And finally, because you haven’t had enough of Barcelona I present to you Xavi and Villa kissing a dolphin. I feel bad for the fish*, can you imagine what that water must smell like after swimming with those c*nts?

Right, tomorrow is photoshop Cesc in or out of the team picture day, I can’t wait, see you then.

*I know it’s a mammal.

Bookmark It

Will the Last Man in Europe please sign for Arsenal?

Tim — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:50:57 +0000

Draw your own conclusions. I’m honestly curious what you think.

Transfer News

Mata’s father and agent is claiming that Arsenal made a bid for the midfielder but it was rejected which puts a lot of the frankly strange stories about whether his release clause would kick in or not to bed. It’s also being widely reported that Valencia received a bid for Mata from Tottenham but that the transfer was rejected by the player. Sounds like a smart guy.

Now I know that you see the words “Arsenal bid rejected” and some of you will get uptight. Just remember that the transfer window isn’t closing tomorrow and there are some really big deals that Arsenal look like they are working on.

If the papers can be trusted, Barcelona are going to go back in for a Cesc bid at £36m this week and not only that but Cesc will take a pay cut to make the deal go through. The silence from the Cesc camp is slowly becoming deafening and I have to wonder what will happen if Barca offer less than what Arsenal want.

Other reports have Manchester City offering Arsenal a final and whopping £22m bid for Samir Nasri. I’d say take the money and buy someone who will openly commit themselves to Arsenal, like Juan Mata. But whether that can be accomplished is just blind speculation about how much Mata wants Arsenal and how much Valencia want to sell. We have no clue what the negotiations have been like, what Arsenal bid, what Valencia want, etc. Knowing that would take someone to hack into Arsenal’s fax system. I’m looking at you Rupert.

Stoke bid for Bendtner? Really? If I was Bendtner I would be afraid of the practice sessions up there but then if I was Bendtner I would be slightly less egotistical. Slightly. Again, another player who if he wants to leave I say let him.

I’m seeing too many reports that Arsenal’s locker room is suffering and it surely can’t help to have players of questionable quality stinking things up. Denilson was loaned back to his homeland and has put in another strange performance, this time resulting in a red card for what looked like dissent. It was a good move for Arsenal, even if we have to help out with wages, because you don’t want a disgruntled squad player in the locker room. Hell, I’m starting to come around to the idea that maybe even players of exceptional quality should be allowed to go.

Even if that means a full rebuild.

And finally…

You’re not following Joey Barton on twitter? Why not? He loves to quote other mental giants like Nietzsche, Virgil, and Orwell. He’s also shamelessly taking on the management at Newcastle and they are hitting back with fines. It’s fascinating to me to watch this man put his entire intellectual and emotional growth on display for all to see.

As an openly psuedo-intellectual man who is well aware of the tiny noise that I add to the growing sound and the fury of the meaninglessness that human culture has become I can’t really be critical of him. He seems to be searching for something to replace the hole in his life left when he gave up his second job as an alcoholic. Moreover, he doesn’t strike me as someone who is profoundly stupid just, I’m guessing, somewhat unread. For example, he posted this from Orwell:

In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.

I agree with Orwell but I don’t think he lives in a time or place of universal deceit in the same way that Orwell would have thought of it. The fact that he can even post that on twitter disproves his argument.

What’s even stranger is that I’ve joked about Barton’s Christ-complex but that was before I found him on twitter. His hyperactive sense of persecution is amazing. And then there’s the whole idea that he’s somehow a revolutionary by posting on Twitter about how some sports team isn’t buying enough players.

A better quote would actually be from Huxley’s Brave New World a place where control was maintained not through government censorship but through amusing ourselves with shit like Twitter.

Orgy-porgy, Ford and fun,
Kiss the girls and make them One.
Boys at one with girls at peace;
Orgy-porgy gives release.

Of course, I tweeted that quote to him. Curious to see what his response is. Anyway, back to work tomorrow, I can’t wait to serve B. B. by creating goodthinkers out of the proles.

As for whether it would be doubleplusgood for Barton to sign with Arsenal. I would say it’s an ungood and that he will probably go to a place like Liverpool.

Bookmark It