Category Archives: The 7amkickoff Index

Quit yer belly aching Buck Rogers, it's only a diver's watch

Cowardly Lions shown the exit

Here’s something you might not know: John Terry and Scott Parker averaged 59 passes per game (each) in Premier League play last season. And in 214 minutes against Italy last night, Terry and Parker attempted just 54 passes: total. I could (and will) go on, but no matter what metric you use to measure England’s performance last night, the conclusion has to be that it was one of the most dreadful, anti-football, tactically bankrupt, matches of Euro 2012.

In addition to Terry and Parker, who were 14th and 15th in passes attempted last season (in League play), Ashley Cole averages 44 passes a game, Glen Johnson averages 47 passes a game, Lescott 46, Rooney 50, and all of these players play on the top teams in England. Teams that move the ball well, and teams that rarely resort to hoofing the ball up field. Yet against Italy, that’s exactly what these players did, for 100 minutes or so.

The common excuse I’ve heard this morning is that the England team just wasn’t good enough. That they actually exceeded expectations getting as far as they did and that this was a pretty good tournament. Talk about the soft bigotry of lowered expectations. I’m sorry but when you have players like Wayne Rooney who has won the Premier League four times, John Terry and Ashley Cole who have won the League three times, and all of the above, plus Steven Gerrard who have won the Champions League, (not to mention Hart, Lescott, and Millner who won the League with City this year) you are not looking at a team with the quality of, say, Greece. No offense to any of my Grecian readers.

And yet, they played like Greece. Worse, I think Greece was more exciting.

Which is Roy Hodgson’s fault. Here’s another thing you might not know: Hodgson teams are (on average) mid-table or above in short passes per game and bottom four in long balls per game. He’s not a long-ball merchant like Harry Redknapp. His teams, generally, play football. So why he chose this match, against this Italian team to close up shop is a complete mystery.

And let’s talk about this Italian team for a second. I love Andrea Pirlo, he is as close to a timeless player as you will see in the modern game. He had 155 touches last night and not one single turnover, which is just incredible. And no matter how you look at the stats he had a peerless performance. Which you expect from a world class player who is given free reign to express himself in an unhurried and unharried manner.

Pirlo averages 11 long balls per game in Italy. That’s how Italian football is played, midfielders like Pirlo and van Bommell collect the ball and spray it all over the field, like a sprinkler. And last night against England, Pirlo sat back and played 30 long balls. The fact that Pirlo had 155 touches, zero turnovers, and 30 long passes is all the proof you need that England didn’t even attempt to win the ball back.

Prilo’s counterpart, Steven Gerrard, attempted just 29 passes.

That 29 passes, by the way, is so astonishingly poor that I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. Lampard against Bayern Munich in the Champions League final has 71 passes. There’s a game which was widely derided as one of the most defensive performances seen in the last five years.

Yet, Gerrard had fewer attempted passes than Andy Carroll did, in half the time. Gerrard had fewer attempted passes than Alessandro Diamanti who only played 42 minutes. Here, have a look at Pirlo and Gerrard’s numbers (all completed passes, or successful tackles, etc) head to head:

Gerrard was captain of a team that had almost no impetus going forward, where the goal keeper had the most touches of anyone else playing for England, the most common pass was from that keeper to Andy Carroll, and where his opposite number was simply allowed to do whatever he wanted.

This was not Spain that England were playing against. Hell, I’d hate to see how few passes Gerrard would muster against a team like Spain. Can a player have a negative number of passes?

This was Italy. And when Italy face Germany on Thursday, I guarantee you will not see Pirlo given the time and space to hit 30 long passes. Italy will not have more shots than Schweinstger has passes (yes, Italy shot the ball more than Gerrard passed). And Germany will not sit back and “soak up” Italian “pressure”. Germany will come to play football.

But of course, if only England had Jack Wilshere things would have been different. Because what England need is a precocious 20 year old, who has been out injured for the last year, instead of their Champions League winning midfield captain to apply a little pressure to his opposite number.

Qq

Sir-Alex-Ferguson-picture1

Champions League scheduling bias in favor of Manchester United takes a one year break

One of the highlights of the summer is the day that the Premier League release their fixtures list. On this auspicious day tens of fans from all over the world pore over the list, looking for proof of how their team has been hosed by the powers that be who create the schedule. How many matches will my team have to play around boxing day? How many away matches will my team have to play in a row? How closely bunched are games against the top four teams? And the great-Granddaddy of complaints: how many away games will my team face after a Champions League fixture.

I’ve never understood why away games after a Champions League match matter so much more to some folks than away games before the match. I suppose that if the only thing that matters is winning the League, then away games after Champions League matches would be a big deal. But modern football teams need to win both domestically and in Europe so really, if fans are going to worry about one, they should worry about both. And for me, it’s both the away games before and after the match and the quality of the competition that the League has decided to pit against my team. If the Premier League schedules Arsenal to play every game (before and after the Champions League ties) away it’s a problem, but it’s more of a problem if they are all away to top four clubs than if they are matches against bottom four clubs.

In fact, if I were to assign a point value to the difficulty of playing teams in the League**, I would give 4 points to top four teams, 3 points to the 5th and 6th place teams, 2 points for the next band of teams, and 1 point for teams who finish 14-20th. I would also assign 1 point for every away game (even the Champions League away games) and add an additional point if my team has to play another top four club away.

Thus, the max a single match could be worth is 6 points, the max that a band of three games could be worth is 13 points (Premier League 6, Champions League 1, Premier League 6), 2 points is the minimum for a band of three, 2.7 points is average among all teams* and you would add .5 points to that for each of the three away games in the Champions League for an average of 3.2.  Given that, anything above 6 is a tough schedule and and anything above 9 points is a really tough series.

So, I looked at each of the Champions League teams for the last two years, checked each of their games before and after each European night, assigned the points and was shocked, shocked to see that Man U has had an easy ride the last two seasons. Just like I was shocked, shocked to see that Arsenal has had to play all three of their away games to top four rivals in the days before or after Champions League matches for two years running.

What I see here is clear manipulation of the schedule to produce exciting matches before and after Champions League games. All teams combined average 3.2 points, but these top teams (during the opening months of the season) are playing against an opposition which averages 6 points. Why that’s happening is unclear. Perhaps they feel like seasons need a good kickoff and favor big games early in order to make a more exciting product launch.

The other thing that’s suspicious is the sheer number of times the top four play each other in the week before or after a Champions League tie. There’s no reason why the League couldn’t schedule those games during one of the several weeks before international breaks, or during the times before and after their League cup matches. But they don’t. They put them adjacent to Champions League matches.

Not only that, but they seem to favor giving Manchester United an easier start to the season. Perhaps they changed their approach after Siralex publicly complained about the fixtures list a few years ago? Unsure, but not having to play a single away match against the top four (before or after Champions League matches) for two years running is a bit odd. That said, they have to play their title rivals some time and it’s debatable whether it’s better to play them at the start or at the end.

Either way, I just wanted to give some perspective to the spate of articles I read last week which were all sob pieces about how Man U suddenly have to play a bunch of away games after a Champions League night. Yeah, cry me a river.

Qq

*Seven teams worth 1 point each home and 2 points away (21); seven teams worth 2 points home and 3 away (35); two teams worth 3 points home and 5 points away (16); and three teams (your team doesn’t count!) worth 4 points home and 6 points away (30) =  102 points. Divided by 38 games = 2.68.
**League position is determined at the end of the season.

You know, I might actually get one of these, it rains a lot here and my current rain jacket sucks

Surprising Stats from 2011-2012

- There were just 13 players who played in all 38 games and there were two of those players who played for Arsenal (RvP, Szczesny)

- Mikel Arteta led the league in passes per game with 76.9 but did you know that the lowest average passes per game for a midfielder — most people who complete few passes are FW who come on as subs — was Jamie Mackie who in 24 starts (31 games) only managed 13.9 passes per game. Rory Delap averaged 15.8, passes.

- It’s normal to see GK and defenders not getting any key passes but when you see a forward who has 7 starts and 16 subs manage just 5 key passes all season you have to wonder who that FW is and who he plays for. Step up Cameron Jerome, Stoke City! You have fewer key passes this season than Ryan Shawcross.

- Speaking of useless forwards… Robin van Persie and Wayne Rooney have very close numbers in many categories but especially in things like goals scored/shot where both players averaged 5.8 shots per goal. Here. I made a chartoon that tells the WHOLE story of their two seasons:

 

Robin Looney
GP 38 34
Goals 28 21
Penalties Scored 2 6
Shots/Game 4.6 4.6
Goals/Shot 0.16 0.13
Goals/Game 0.74 0.62
Assists 10 4
Passes/Game 27.2 50.4
Key Passes 2.4 1.5
KP/Pass 0.09 0.03
KP/Assist 9.2 12.75

 

Anyway, 5.8 shots per goal may seem like a high number but in terms of efficiency 6 shots per goal is not that bad. What’s bad? How about Luis Suarez being a racist? Oh and averaging 11.6 shots per goal? Or Gareth Bale being a space chimp? Oh and averaging 15 shots per goal? Or how about Adel Tarrabt getting just two goals on 88 shots? And one of those goals came against Arsenal! After which hookah was smoked by all. Make mine a double hookah!

- The League’s worst passer was Paul Robinson with just 25%, edging out the second worst passer Simon Mignolet by just 13%.

- It’s normal to see GK like Hennessey and Begovic topping the Long Ball table year in and year out but in among the trees is a little smurf — Luka Smurf — who averaged 7.6 long balls per game playing for Harry Redknapp’s Long Ball dream team. That’s good enough for 4th place in the League. Redknapp loves long balls…

- It’s well known by now that Alex Song led the League in successful through balls per game with 0.7 (24/90). What might not be known is that haul is a little less than half of Messi’s number of 1.5 per game (56/153) and slightly better than Barcelona’s new #4, Cesc Fabregas. Want a chartoon that tells the WHOLE story of these two players’ seasons? SURE!

 

Song Cesc
Games played 34 28
Through balls 24 19
Through balls attempted 90 59
Through balls % 26.67% 32.20%
Through balls/game 0.71 0.68
Assists 11 8
Team’s League Goals 74 114
Assists/Team’s Goals 14.86% 7.02%

 

- For the second year running Chiek Tiote leads the League in yellow cards, while simultaneously being second in both fouls per game and terrible haircuts! Also Grant Holt is a thug who is looking to steal Kevin Cyrill Davies’ crown as biggest thug in the League who miraculously manages to get away with being the biggest thug in the League. Holt was called for 89 fouls and got just 6 yellow cards. That’s fewer yellow cards than each of Song (10), van Persie (8), Koscielny (9), and Vermaelen (7). In fact, if you add up all the fouls committed by RvP (30), Koz (33), and Vermaelen (33), (96) and all the cards they got for those fouls (24) and then look at Grant Holt’s numbers (89 and 6) you see that it’s clearly better to be a center forward, who is English, and whose name doesn’t rhyme with “under the sea”.

- Peter Crouch and Andy Carroll won the most aerial duels in the League. They are tall.

- Emmanuel Adebayor lead the League in total number of offsides (52) and in being dispossessed (105). His 1.6 offsides per game comprised 67% of Tottenham’s total of 2.4 offsides per game. He was also the best player in the world for turning the ball over for no reason with 115! For those numbers and being the world’s most mercenary player Adebayor wins 2011-2012’s Golden Cunt! Congrats, it was close between you and Nasri but you edged Nasri on the terrible stats.

- Who had the most clearances per game? Ryan Shawcross! You know who the top ten are in that category? Shawcross, A. Ferdinand, Collins, Dunne, Huth, Martin (Norwich), Kaboul, Knight, Turner(Sund.), and Johnson (Wolves.). That’s some illustrious company there.

- Speaking of illustrious company, remember Scott Dann? Remember last summer when all the papers were reporting that Scott Dann was coming to Arsenal? Well, this season he lead the League in Own Goals with three!

Of course, Koscielny had 2, Ramsey had 1, Song had 1, and Vermaelen had 1. I’m pretty sure Arsenal lead the world in comical own goaling, maybe we should have doubled down and gotten Scott Dann? Think of how much funnier this season would have been with his three own goals thrown in. I can hear the Yakety Sax now — because I just turned it on.

- Man U and Man City jointly scored 16 penalties this season: Man U alone had 9, while Man City had 7. Man U scored more penalties than Arsenal (2), Tottenham (4), and Newcastle (2), combined. To give this some more perspective, there are 5 teams in London (Arsenal, Chelsea, Fulham, QPR, and Tottenham) and just the two teams in Manchester. The five London teams scored just 15 penalties while the two Manchester teams scored 16.

More insanity tomorrow.

Qq