230 just seems like a nice number. It seems like the kind of number that will come over to your house unannounced but bearing gifts. And not some chump gift either, something useful like a second Wii controller.

To get to 230 goals, Henry would have to score four goals in his loan [...]]]> Thierry Henry — 230 goals

230 just seems like a nice number. It seems like the kind of number that will come over to your house unannounced but bearing gifts. And not some chump gift either, something useful like a second Wii controller.

To get to 230 goals, Henry would have to score four goals in his loan period. And given that he’s only got a maximum of ten games he could possibly play and more realistically he’ll probably play in somewhere around three games, then four goals would be a massive return.

Like I said, it’s a wish.

Robin van Persie — 140 goals

140 is a nice number. It’s the kind of number that would show up to your house totally invited, laden with great beer, and bearing fresh steaks. What a number!

Robin is currently on 116 goals. To get to 140 career Arsenal goals he would have to score 24 goals. He is currently scoring goals at a rate of 0.88 goals per game, that means for him to get 24 goals he would have to play 27 games. Since there are only 18 Premier League matches left in the season, for him to get 27 games means that Arsenal would have to play in both the Champions League and FA Cup finals.

Also, he would have to stay healthy for the remainder of the season and stay in the same form he is currently on.

Like I said, it’s a wish.

A cultured left foot

One way to get Robin goals is to let someone else take corners. Arsenal average nearly 8 corners per game and Robin takes all corners from the right. It would be nice to have a left footed player who could swing in some corners for him instead of always having him take the corner and be completely removed from the play.

It would also help if this left footed player could play defense and put in good crosses. Marcel Schäfer from Wolfsburg is a left back with three goals and four assists this season and is 10th among all players in the top European leagues for accurate crosses per game. That is, of course, if Arsenal don’t sign Leighton Baines.

I know… I know… “Those guys are not coming to Arsenal on loan and Arsenal aren’t going to sign any 27 year old fullbacks to permanent deals because we already have Santos and Sagna with Gibbs and Jenks as backup.”

Like I said, it’s a wish.

The FA announce a plan to introduce technology in football

I wish that in 2012 I will read the following article:

England, London. The Football Association has given the vick to FIFA today and announced a plan to introduce video replay in all League and cup matches as soon as August.

HRH Prince William held a press conference today and shacked the footballing world with this announcement:

England has a proud history as innovators of the game of football. We invented the damn thing and we are no longer going to sit back and allow some effete Frenchmen tell us that we can’t bring the game into the 21st century. That is why starting in pre season 2012-2013 the Football Association is going to install a 5th official in a sound-proof room who will watch television replays of the games and help the official on the ground get the calls right.

People of England, hear me! No longer will we have to watch endless footage of Joey Barton act like a complete tool. He will be banned forthwith from the game the very next time he grabs a man by the shirt or punches a man in the chest, the hairy ball-sack of a human being that he is. And we shall use the latest in video technology to accomplish this.

In conclusion, FICK FUFA and their cheese eaters, God Save the Queen, and God Bless The United States of America!

(Ends with the double-vick)

Like I said, it’s a wish!

Arsenal finish above Chelsea and Tottenham

I know that as an Arsenal supporter I’m supposed to hate Tottenham but in all the years that I’ve been following football, which is admittedly relatively few, Tottenham have never been a legitimate rival so why would I hate a team that I never had a real rivalry with?

My experience with Chelsea, on the other hand, is that they have always been the carbuncle on the anus of the Premier League.

But it looks like Tottenham have a pretty good team now that Twitchy found the right mix of former Arsenal players and for the first time in the entirety of my football viewing life, I hate Tottenham. Just like the song says.

So, let’s see Arsenal finish above both teams.

Chamakh finds his form down in Africa

Hey if Sir Henry Morton Stanley can pop on a pith helmet and take his three first names to Africa to “discover” the source of the Nile then anything is possible.

If he does come back with the form he seems to have lost I nominate Toto’s Africa as his song.

It’s gonna take Chamakh to drag me away from you
There’s nothing that a hundred games or more could ever do
He found his form down in Africa!

Admittedly, this is terrible and possibly racist. I think the point is that I’d like it if he found some form while he’s away playing for Morocco. Maybe a few weeks as the focus of another team’s attack will make him rediscover a love for football?

Like I said, it’s a wish.

Wins over Liverpool and AC Milan

Because of all your generosity I will be traveling to England this March. The flight is booked (I even got to use some air miles which saved me some money as well) and now I’m just working on lodging.

I also have a friend who is getting me a seat (I doubt we will sit much) to the Liverpool away match which is like the best Christmas present ever wrapped inside the best sex ever. Not that we are going to have sex… err… you get the point.

So for my first ever away game I will be seeing Liverpool at Klanfield and then back down to London for the match against AC Milan in the Champions League at the Emirates. Considering the last game I saw was the League Cup final at Wembley I think I’m due a win or two.

Like I said, it’s a wish!

A happy and healthy 2012

I know that I’m getting to the age where people around me start to die. I’m not foolish enough to believe that we all live forever and have accepted the fact that we make the devil’s bargain; the price of the wonder of life is the pain of death.

But after last year, I just wish that everyone I know and love makes it through 2012 happy and healthy. I don’t normally get all emo but I’m just going to wish the best for all of my regular readers, the folks who contribute regularly to the blog, Chary, my close friends here in Tacoma and in London, and especially my dear friend Tiffany who is fighting breast cancer for the second time. Her and her husband are the strongest most loving people I’ve ever met and if anyone deserves a third bite of the apple it’s them.

Maybe it’s unrealistic but I figure if I can wish for stupid shit like a left back for Arsenal I might as well put in a request for all of you to stay happy and healthy this year.

Like I said, it’s a wish!

Qq

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I knew that yesterday’s post would bring out the people who moan about Arsenal moaning any time there’s a bad patch so let me start by addressing that issue. Remember the Boy Who Cried Wolf? Remember how at the end of the story when he cried wolf there was actually a wolf and the townspeople ignored [...]]]>

I knew that yesterday’s post would bring out the people who moan about Arsenal moaning any time there’s a bad patch so let me start by addressing that issue. Remember the Boy Who Cried Wolf? Remember how at the end of the story when he cried wolf there was actually a wolf and the townspeople ignored him and the sheep were eaten and they all resorted to cannibalism or starved to death because it was winter and they should have protected the sheep at all costs even though the boy who cried wolf was an asshole? Erm, the point is that sometimes when the boy cries wolf there’s an actual wolf!

Tuesday against Wolves, Arsenal were unlucky. You can complain about the team complaining about their luck in the past all you like but when that team creates 19 chances in 45 minutes and doesn’t score a goal you have to say that they were unlucky. Arsenal deserved three points from that game.

In fact, I applaud that performance. How many times in the past have we seen Arsenal allow a goal because of sloppy defending, go into their shell, and try to pass the ball into the net? Tuesday against Wolves, Arsenal dropped that shit and went direct. In the second half, Arsenal passed the ball less and attacked more: attempting 87 fewer passes in the second half but attempting more than twice as many shots. Arsenal were unlucky, Wolves were lucky, shit happens.

And now let the gnashing of teeth begin over my position on whether Thierry Henry would be a good signing. This is really simple:

1. Arsenal need a back-up forward until Chamakh returns from the Africa Cup of Nationalism
2. If you think anything else, please see #1

First, I agree with people who say that Arsenal’s problems in the forward spot are long term. This might seem to contradict my position above but hold on, I’m getting there.

Chamakh’s form may be deader than corduroy but he is still under contract at Arsenal and by all accounts one of Arsenal’s highest paid players. You and I may want to “cut him” or “sell him” but as we all know by the fact that Almunia is still gainfully employed by the Arsenal things aren’t that simple. The chances of Chamakh being sold in January are about the same as me landing a date with Cheryl Tweedy. Sure, if I see her I’ll ask but I’m not going to mortgage my future on it.

That means Chamakh will almost certainly be on the books until this Summer and we have to be prepared for the possibility that he will be around until the end of his contract, just like Almunia.

Like I said before, from what I gather Chamakh is making a pretty hefty salary — because he came to Arsenal on a free — in the £80-90k/wk range. Now, maybe he’s the kind of guy who will take a pay cut to go play for Bordeaux. Maybe, unlike Wayne Bridge, he actually does just want to play football. And maybe Arsenal can find some kind of deal where we let him go for free and thus convince some team to take him. But that’s almost certainly not going to happen until this Summer.

I’d hate to be the supporter of a club who are so desperate for a forward that they would take Chamakh and his enormous salary, his underwhelming performances, and the fact that he won’t be available to suit up for my team until February.

Oh wait… catch 22, I am a supporter of that club.

That’s the reality of Chamakh’s contract and form at the moment. Arsenal are paying him top dollar and he’s got a nice long contract and he’s in terrible form. Good luck trying to move that player in this economy.

That’s what makes Theirry Henry attractive; he’s better than Chamakh. I wasn’t joking yesterday on twitter when I said that Henry will score more goals for Arsenal in the month of January than Chamakh will. Because Chamakh will not be around to score goals! That alone is reason to take him.

But if I’m right that Henry’s salary is similar to what Arsenal would pay Chamakh while he’s at the ACN (clubs don’t pay salary during nationalism tournaments, right?) then it’s not just a wash it’s a huge upgrade. Just on the fact that Thierry Henry would be around The Ox™ and Walcott to instill the Arsenal way and impart a few striker’s tricks.

The other factors you have to add in are that buying in January is extra costly all on its own and that whomever we are going to buy must be willing to be a backup to Robin van Persie. So, to buy Olivier Giroud (who is having a career season and would be a huge gamble) the price has already been set at around  £50m. That’s if Arsenal could do the deal.

Chelsea need a striker, REALLY BAD. You cannot think for a moment that if Arsenal do manage to convince someone like Giroud to play second fiddle to Robin that Chelsea wouldn’t just swoop and offer better personal terms and a real chance to play first team football. They beat us to Mata.

This is why Arsene’s long-term approach works and why the short-term buying of on form players in January at the most costly part of the season to play second string to Robin doesn’t. This is also why a two-month loan of a player who still has goals left in him makes perfect sense.

Taking Henry on loan doesn’t solve Arsenal’s long term problem at the forward position but like I have argued that’s something that, barring a Christmas miracle, will have to wait until this Summer anyway — and then, there’s still a huge IF about moving Chamakh.

Arsene will do a deal if the right player is out there so I’m not ruling out any signings this January. I’m just saying that Arsenal are stuck with Chamakh so, we might as well have Titi back to fill in until Chamakh returns.

Qq

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The good news is that this signing will now distract us from all that talk about whats-his-name signing for those people in that other league. See, I already forgot. [...]]]> The dot com has released video of our new number 29, Marouane Chamakh, and all I can say about the signing is good gods man, cut that mullet.

The good news is that this signing will now distract us from all that talk about whats-his-name signing for those people in that other league. See, I already forgot.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, mullets.

Rock over London!

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I used to hate the transfer [...]]]> There’s really not much really going on. The usual “Cesc is contemplating Barca move” story which are lapped up by the Arsene haters are circulating today.While the more enterprising writers are digging deep in to the well for what they think is an “unusual” story like “Robert Green coming to Arsenal.”

I used to hate the transfer speculation, but I’ve come to understand its purpose. It’s kind of like trying to predict a Saturday lineup on Wednesday; a fun little distraction. Chatting with Marty McFly yesterday at my daughter’s birthday party reminded me of my favorite transfer rumor: Buffon to Arsenal.

I’ve had the chance to watch Buffon quite a number of times this year and one thing I wonder about is if he can command the box the way we really need? I’m not sure because in Italy he’s pretty protected by the refs and if he comes to Arsenal, as we know, the refs will be allowing players to obstruct, kick, push, hold on to, and otherwise actively foul him on every set play. In his favor, he does strike me as the kind of nut case that would go full Lehmann on the John Terry’s in the league.

Either way, I agree with Marty that a signing of his magnitude would be a major coup. I don’t see it happening, given his likely contract requirements and transfer costs, but it would be a coup.

It would also be a major break from Wenger’s economical style which I, and others, have detailed ad nauseum in the past. You already know that he likes players either very young and precocious or between the ages of 22 and 26 — right before they are at the top of their career and their value skyrockets. Buying a 32 year old like Buffon, in the prime of his career, who would demand a crazy salary and who is probably worth £15m+. Despite the fact that his team finished 7th and out of Europe. Did you know that Buffon currently earns £85,000 a week at Juve?

Wenger would look at a player like than, then at Joe Hart, and surmise that Hart is the better value. And you know what? Getting Joe Hart would be nearly as big coup as well, I think, because he’s English.

He’s widely tipped as the future England number 1 and judging by the calls that I see players like John Terry get away with he would have free reign to decapitate opposition players in the box. Which is clearly what we need.

I also get lots of questions about when Chamakh is signing for Arsenal and I’ve looked at the calendar and I’m going with… Monday. Give or take a few days.

No surprises in the polls; Song won MIP by a huge margin, Cesc was hero, Shawcross just broke the legs of Adebayor at the death and edged him for goat, and Cesc sloughed off three defenders to take goal of the year from Nasri. I might write something about the MIP and Hero categoreis later this week. Right now, I’m working on an article about Denilson and why you should love him with all your heart, or at least appreciate what he does.

If you have any thoughts on that, please post them below. Also, if you have any hot and I mean HOT, as in “Buffon’s WAG and Joe Hart’s WAG have reportedly made a sex tape,” Arsenal transfer rumors that don’t involve any of the men I spoke of above, or Phil Jagielka, please, share them below.

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The world’s longest courtship has nearly been consummated as Marouane Chamakh revealed today that he is publicly holding hands with Arsenal, though he’s still got 11 days to decide if he wants to go steady.

It is something amazing. There were approaches from Liverpool, Tottenham and crazy offers from Russia that were much bigger than those from [...]]]>

The world’s longest courtship has nearly been consummated as Marouane Chamakh revealed today that he is publicly holding hands with Arsenal, though he’s still got 11 days to decide if he wants to go steady.

It is something amazing. There were approaches from Liverpool, Tottenham and crazy offers from Russia that were much bigger than those from England, but I was focused on playing in the Premier League.I have always loved Arsenal’s football. I know I will have to adapt, but I have experience of playing the short passing game from working with Yoann Gourcuff. I am counting down the days – 11 short days. As time passes, it feels strange. I am experiencing many emotions.

Chamakh is expected to step in to the club next year and push Bendtner for the starting role as center forward/weird tall thing on the right of the front three.

As Arsenal prepare to consummate one relationship there are further noises from the Emirates Stadium area that Arsene Wenger might look to English players for a bargain this year.

It looks to me like the big teams with big financial potential like Man City, like Chelsea might go abroad. So if they move abroad the internal market will be a bit cheaper.

It’s an interesting time for the Arsenal boss to mention English players, Man City, foreign players, and transfers all at the same time as Arsenal are being strongly linked to Joe Hart, again, meanwhile Gianluigi Buffon is passing love letters to “English clubs” in the hopes of rescuing him from the doldrums of Juve.

It’s well known that Man City tried to get Buffon last Summer before they signed Shay Given but failed as Juve wanted a fee which even City balked at. The interest at City is there and so is the need with Shay Given expected to be out for several months after dislocating a shoulder against Arsenal. The quote could be taken to mean that Wenger expects City to sign Buffon and then give up Joe Hart for cheap. Buffon to City has to be seen as an outside chance though, with quotes surfacing as recently as a few weeks ago having the big fella dismissing City:

I read that City were interested in me last summer. I don’t know if anything was tabled, but there is no way I could have considered it. I couldn’t justify leaving one of Europe’s most famous clubs for a team that are not playing football at the highest level.

Ah, but the question isn’t about City of last season what about City of next season? Could you justify leaving a 7th place Juventus who have no chance of playing in the Champions League for a team that finds itself in fourth place in the Premier League and heading into a season where they will challenge on many fronts? Also, they will pay you a LOT OF MONEY. Have you considered THAT?

On other interpretation of the Wenger quote is that he is secretly expecting City to pip Spuds in the 4th Place Cup today and then go on a massive international spending spree. Yay.

And finally, Andrei Arshavin’s official web site has vehemently denied the quotes about him leaving for Barcelona which were published in the People last Sunday.

Over the past few days we have received hundreds of letters from Arsenal fans with requests to comment on Andrey Arshavin’s interview for the British edition of “The People” magazine. This interview was also reprinted by a number of other media. Unfortunately, it has become normal, that many dishonorable journalists exploit Andrey Arshavin’s name, giving the press false and provocative information. Never in his sports career has Andrey made any excuses or reacted to such statements. Perhaps such impunity gives them the right to continue to defame and compromise the Russian National Team captain and Arsenal’s player.

In this case, it is worth noting that Andrey Arshavin hasn’t given any interviews or communicated with any representatives of this tabloid. The article caused a storm of fans’ indignation and outrage. Andrey is a player of Arsenal. So he is responsible for the honour and dignity of the club not only during the game, but also in life. With regards to Mr. Lahter’s statements that have also been actively discussed in the press, Andrey states: “Denis Lahter has not been representing my interests for a year now, he is not my agent. He does not have any information regarding my prospects and career plans, so his statements about my future endeavors shouldn’t be taken for a fact or paid attention to.

Am I the only one who sees that after this statement by Arshavin there’s a real case for one of these two parties to sue the other for libel? Arshavin could surely show harm in the People quotes if they are false; his transfer value and even his ability to sign a bigger contract with Arsenal have surely been damaged. On the other side, if the People quotes are true and they can back it up then this rebuttal and accusations of lies and false reporting could be a case for libel in the other direction. We’ll have to see if either aggrieved party takes further action.

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Watching the 3-1 win by Inter over Barcelona and a couple of things came to mind — first, there is no doubt that Mario Balotelli is a gifted forward who is deeply unhappy with the Inter fans and second, there is no doubt that yellow card tackles in the Champions League are [...]]]> Super Mario, worth the risk?

Watching the 3-1 win by Inter over Barcelona and a couple of things came to mind — first, there is no doubt that Mario Balotelli is a gifted forward who is deeply unhappy with the Inter fans and second, there is no doubt that yellow card tackles in the Champions League are different than in the Premier League.

To the first, I present to you the video above. Note that the player is clearly getting a huge ration of crap from the Inter fans at the end of the game that the team is winning. The thing is, from everything I’ve read this player has not only been racially abused at pretty much every stadium (fans sing a song about how there’s no such thing as a black Italian — despite the fact that he was born in Palermo) but the Italian FA have fined him when he ironically clapped the racist fans, and his own manager defended the racists rather than the player. And so, when the Inter fans were whistling after him last night I totally understood where his anger came from and can see why he threw his shirt down in disgust.

But here’s the multi-million dollar question… he’s hugely talented, Wenger has has hugely talented players with attitude problems before and has usually pushed them out the door (Adebayor, Anelka, etc) so could Wenger take him to England and control him? There, there’s your Arsenal transfer speculation of the week.

Straight legged tackles

The second thing I noticed in last night’s game is that defenders rarely make straight legged tackles in European games. You know the kind I’m talking about, you remember the picture of Martin Taylor flying in on Eduardo. I’m not saying that they tackle clean, rather that when they do make a dirty tackle, they try to come in low, with the studs down, and the knee bent. This way the chance of a devastating injury is minimized.

So, why is it that the straight legged tackle, where all of the force of the tackler is transferred onto the guy getting tackled is not only accepted, but even defended in England? Am I missing something?

Calm down, Adebayor

I hear tell that both Toure and Vieira are telling Adebayor to shut up and play ahead of the Manciti Arsenal game on Saturday (9:30am PST on Fox Soccer Channel). It’s not going to work, because Adebayor, like a jilted lover, thinks that the way he’s been “treated” is all our fault. Despite all the evidence which proves he lied, then he kissed the badge, then he decided he didn’t really want to play for us, then he stamped on Robin van Persie’s face, and then he ran 80 yards to celebrate in front of the Arsenal fans, as if he were Thierry Henry and we were Tottenham supporters.

Oh no, he will get nutty on Saturday. I just hope that Howard Webb is in charge, he’s always hated Adebayor and has given him 2 of his 3 career red cards. No doubt he’ll be looking for trouble from Adebayor.

More than a feeling

Boston Mass, USA, is rumored to be looking to host an Old Firm “friendly” next year. Does anyone else think that this is both a brilliant/terrible idea? I mean, with all the “Irish” people in the USA you could have both teams play in various places across the States and it would be a huge cash cow. Especially if you sell green beer and get the city to dye their river green.

Of course, now you have the problem where basically the United States gets two St. Patrick’s days a year and all the ensuing clean-up costs.

Nasri and Arshavin big up the Arsenal!

Hmmmm…. the rumors that Chamakh is coming to Arsenal are getting hotter as even Wenger is now saying that there’s a “good chance” the big center forward is joining Arsenal:

We will announce the deals after the league. He is one of the players who has a good chance to join us. (emph. added)

One of the players? Nice one Wenger!

Realistically, I think Wenger will probably buy no more than three: Chamakh, a holding mid who can play center back, and a keeper. Nasri recons that Arsenal are already there and hopes that the boss will keep the team together despite the poor end of the season.  It’s an interesting quote because he sort of meanders a bit but overall I think he’s trying to point out the positives that the season has brought and how we’ve done it without insane transfer spending and with injuries to 5 of our superstars.

His point about being in the Champions League quarter finals, being third in the league, and being one of the youngest teams in the league is something that the positive blogs have been saying all along. Of course the quote can be diced into parts, put in a blender and turned into a screed about Arsenal, but then you’d be Martin Samuel or something.

Arshavin has a similar take on the season and what I like best about his quote is that he’s not complaining about Arsenal, for once. Instead, he’s just saying that we need to keep the spirit we generated this season and take it into next and we could win something. It’s good to have the senior players encouraging the team rather than parroting the tired old “buy buy buy” line.

How do you say that again???

I’ve listened to this thing probably 20 times and I still can’t pronounce Eyjafjallajökull properly. Come on people, that’s can’t be serious, can it? It’s a mountain named after the sound of a footballer clearing his throat?

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I know that a lot of you will be upset that we are out of [...]]]> Hey guess what? Arsenal don’t have a game this weekend! Kind of nice, I guess, especially since we’re still in the title race and our mid-week opponent, Tottenham, has to play in an FA Cup semi-final at the cow patch called Wembley.

I know that a lot of you will be upset that we are out of the FA Cup but I’m not. We are within 3 points of the title and after chasing the trophy that really matters we are battered, bruised, and beat down. This Arsenal team needs a rest and while I’d love for them to win a minor trophy to shut the doom and gloomers up for a moment, I’d rather have a healthy team for the last 5 matches.

Speaking of injuries, Colin Lewin gave an interview on the Dot com and tried to explain some of the injury problems this team has had this year. A lot of folks like to point to players like van Persie and toss out the “injury prone” tag but I think Colin rightly points out that what we’ve suffered this season isn’t just niggling injuries but rather traumatic injuries. I think I already knew that but when he says that we’ve suffered 7 (SEVEN) fractures this season I think it gives a little context.

The folks who like to point out the “injury prone” players always do so in order to talk about how Arsenal need to buy buy buy.  But you absolutely cannot buy your way out of 7 fractures. You just cannot have a team of 30 world class players — even Arsenal couldn’t afford that. And don’t give me the crap about how we should have bought in January because Arsene did buy and even better, his faith in the strikers on this team has been re-payed.

Sol Campbell has been absolutely essential in defense and in the locker room and was easily one of Wenger’s best signings of the last few years.

Additionally, Bendtner has been very good since coming back from injury and has scored or assisted in all but one of his last 10 matches, netting 8 goals and 4 assists in those games.

A little faith, folks. Just a little.

None of which touches on the Likeanewsignings which Lewin says are coming back into the team. Within a fortnight, Djourou and Gibbs are going to start training with the team having overcome career threatening injuries and “imminently” Robin van Persie is going to be training with the team.

For the record, there is absolutely no way RvP will play on Wednesday. He hasn’t even started training with the team yet, let’s give him some room to breathe.

Meanwhile Doctor Arshavin continues his battle with Arsene Wenger in the press and has now diagnosed himself with two muscle tears.

I have two tears, now I maybe stay out rest of season?

I’m not going to rip him, taking my own advice about faith here, but I do find it odd that he makes the announcements that the club should be making. Ultimately, I suppose it doesn’t matter who announces the injury it’s just not how business is done at our club so I’m not used to it.

After the Barcelona loss much hay was made of Arsene’s comments about maybe buying some players this Summer with Gooners round the world peeing themselves at the prospect of having maybe an 8th player who’s leg could be snapped under the agricultural challenge of a player like Ryan Shawcross.

Marouane Chamakh is pretty much already on his way and according to my sources has had titanium spikes installed on his shins in preparation for the “rigors” of the Premier League. And if you think Wenger is done with transfers after spending the princely sum of £0 for Chamakh you’re wrong! My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Arsenal scouts watching David Silva at the Europa league clash between Atletico and Valencia last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Let me see a 5’7″ foreign playmaker who doesn’t score many goals, damn… this is a shooin isn’t it?

Right, that’s it for the moment, look for another post of just fun links, no serious discussion allowed, scheduled for 11am PST. See you then!

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Hey look, it’s Monday! Anything going on with the Arsenal?

No? Come on, there must be at least a transfer rumor today. Surely Chamakh has signed a pre-pre-verbal deal with Arsenal? Oh wait, look! Here’s a story about Carlton Cole denying some unnamed team the privilege of having their team doctors work on his injuries for the [...]]]>

Hey look, it’s Monday! Anything going on with the Arsenal?

No? Come on, there must be at least a transfer rumor today. Surely Chamakh has signed a pre-pre-verbal deal with Arsenal? Oh wait, look! Here’s a story about Carlton Cole denying some unnamed team the privilege of having their team doctors work on his injuries for the rest of the season. Cole doesn’t say that it was Arsenal who contacted him but everyone knows it was, right? It’s just common sense, Arsenal needed a striker, Carlton Cole is a striker (when he plays) and Arsene Wenger is so predictable in the transfer market, therefore Arsenal contacted Carlton Cole who, because he loves West Ham and because he didn’t want to play in the Champions League, turned us down. Carlton Cole turned down Arsenal because he’d much rather be blowing Bubbles at West Ham.

That makes sense, thank the gods that Goal.com got the scoop!

Speaking of stupid, there’s an unsubstantiated rumor that Arsenal have an agreement to bring Marouane Fellaini in this Summer off Everton. I’m not linking to it because it’s absolute garbage but I will say that I think Arsenal fans should get in on this “making up stupid transfer rumors” action. Feel free to put your most ridiculous and obviously made-up transfer ideas in the comments below.

The Champions League is set to restart and Arsenal get to play football on Wednesday. YAY! Man, I was starting to lose my mind there. I even had this nightmare that I was duped into believing that photos of Arsenal’s 2010/2011 kit had been leaked onto the internet. Thank goodness I didn’t fall for that!

Anyway, Arsenal play Porto do Hulk on Wednesday and ahead of the match both teams are talking about their physical play and how they are going to “smash” each other. On the dot com, Arsene is big upping Vasiriki Abou Diaby’s physical presence in the team, saying:

He offers height and a physical presence. It gives us the pair with Alex Song and even when Denilson plays, when Diaby is there we look strong in the challenges and strong in the air as well. When you add Nicklas Bendtner and him, suddenly when you set-up on set pieces, who do we have? We have four or five who really can jump for the headers and it makes a difference

I actually agree with Arsene here, Diaby has been absolutely massive this season. It’s a bit unfair that for most of his career he was compared to Patrick Vieira because he’s not really anything like Vieira — other than being tall, black, French, and bald. Well he used to be bald, he’s not even bald anymore, see what I mean? But seriously, there were a lot of expectations placed on him after those comparisons were made and he’s really struggled to live up to them given his history of injuries.

Don’t get me wrong, I put the string of injuries squarely on the shoulders of former Sunderland player Dan Smith, who broke Diaby’s foot at the end of a blowout 3-0 Arsenal win back in 2006. Diaby was just 19 years old when Dan Smith took him out of football for 9 months with a fractured and dislocated ankle, basically the same injury as the one Taylor inflicted on Eduardo.

It seems like a lifetime ago that happened, I mean, Bergkamp came on in that game! Wow… the point is that it has taken Diaby nearly 4 years to get back into a rhythm, get a string of games under his belt and start to show what he can really do. His stats are good; 7 goals and 4 assists so far this season. But it’s the little things that are really important: tackling, breaking up play, being tall. Let’s all hope he continues this run of good form, between him Cesc and Song Arsenal could have the best midfield in the League.

Meanwhile, Givanildo Vieira de Souza said something or his captain said something about stopping Arsenal. Whatever, Hulkster. Let’s play some football and see which is the better team.

If you’re in Portugal, and you’re a red level member, and you want to see some good football match tickets are still available. It’s a bit odd that there are tickets still available but then the economy is pretty bad and from what I hear Porto fans can be a bit, uhh, unfriendly. If you do go, watch your back.

The match is live here in the States on Fox Soccer Channel and I’m actually going to be at home for the game which means that I’ll probably do a liveblog or something. More on that tomorrow after Wenger gives his pre-match interview.

One thing that my American readers will notice is that Fox Soccer Channel is heavily advertising the March debut of their new HD channel, Fox Soccer Plus. I have it on good authority (basically it’s a rumor) that most people who have cable won’t be able to get the channel for a while.

But don’t despair!

The reason that the cable providers can’t easily add the channel is because they have limited bandwidth. Satellite providers don’t have this same limitation and so Fox Soccer Plus will probably be available to Dish and other satellite TV subscribers in the States.

For me this isn’t much of a change except for the better: I currently go to the pub to watch the games that are broadcast on Setanta and since they have multiple satellite networks, I’ll probably just get to keep doing that. The better part comes in because the games will now be in HD!

Anyway, that’s it for right now, see you later today with the Monday Fiver.

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Officially, the transfer window is closed but it looks like no one told Arsenal, players, or their managers because every morning I get up and read about so and so signing for such and such team.

Now, before you point out that players who are in the last year of their contracts can negotiate with other clubs [...]]]>

Officially, the transfer window is closed but it looks like no one told Arsenal, players, or their managers because every morning I get up and read about so and so signing for such and such team.

Now, before you point out that players who are in the last year of their contracts can negotiate with other clubs I already know that but it seems like a lot of players who aren’t eligible for negotiations are signing deals and “making verbal agreements.”

Last week we had our monthly “Cesc is off to Barcelona” story which is quickly followed up with the “Cesc makes statement about loving Arsenal” story.  This week, we have out daily “Chamakh to sign for Arsenal” story, which, oddly isn’t being followed up with the normal “Chamakh hasn’t agreed to anything” story. I suspect that Arsenal are very close to signing him and after all the fuss he better be damn good.

The other transfer story today is that Mikael Silvestre is upset about playing time and is set “to quit” Arsenal. I don’t blame him for wanting to play football, nor do I blame Arsenal for not letting him on the pitch. If you look at his game log over the last two years at Arsenal he has been involved in an alarming number of 3+ goal defeats. I’m sure that’s just coincidence.

What isn’t coincidence is the fact that Arsenal are clearly looking to line up some young central defenders this Summer. We know for a fact that Wenger tried to sign Chris Smalling in the January transfer window and were pipped to the player by Man U. Immediately after that deal fell through there were reports that Arsenal had signed a 19 Montenegrin named Stefan Savic. That turned out to be the player talking himself up and he has since been binned by Arsenal with the player admitting

Everything is still very much open. There is the possibility to sign the contract [with Arsenal] now, and to return to Borca until the summer. However, the coaching staff concluded that it is better to see me again in the summer.

That quote happened after the player was taken on a 10 day trial and apparently bombed out.

The latest rumor is that Arsenal are going back in for Borussia Dortmund’s giant American center half, Nevin Subotic. Competition is supposed to be fierce with Arsenal reportedly willing to offer £15m. This whole rumor has been denied by the player’s agent and frankly, this isn’t how Arsene does business anyway. We all know he’d be more likely to sign someone like Thomas Vermaelen than Nevin Subotic.

The point is, though, with Silvestre unhappy with his playing time and Gallas reportedly unhappy with Arsenal’s latest contract offer, Wenger seems to be poking around looking for replacements. That should make a lot of Goonah’s happy since defense is one area that Arsenal have really struggled with over the last two years.

In injury news, ESPN is reporting that both Song and Arshavin are set to miss out on the Porto match on Wednesday. The Arshavin injury has been confirmed by the dot com but the extent of Song’s injury is still unknown. Finger’s crossed he doesn’t join the long-term injury list with Gibbs, Djourou, and van Persie.

The good news is that Eduardo and Nasri are back and Dudu can fill in for Arshavin on the left next week.

Oh and I forgot about Vela. Vela has an injury as well, though the dot com is not telling us how long he’s out for which makes me wonder if he’s really injured.

Anyway, that’s your rumors and injuries updates for today, now, if you don’t mind Robbie Savage has taken time off from swimming in his pool and banging his sex bomb love goddess model of a wife and is “playing football” and I’m going to watch.

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