It’s all breaking apart?

“Hey, who wants to go for an ice cream?”

As you by now, no doubt, have read Alex Hleb’s agent has had his say and he wants Alex to move, preferably to Inter because they have the best ice cream in all of Europe.  You probably have also seen this story about Adebayor wanting £80,000/wk or “he’s leaving too.”

The ship is obviously falling apart folks.  What we need is someone to hold us together.  Someone who’s able to pay all these salary demands out of the kindness of his heart, someone who has a soul steeped in the history of Arsenal, someone who loves Arsenal and us supporters, someone who will hold us in the dark and scary nights ahead.

All that could be solved if the club were to accept the help of Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov, but chairman Peter Hill-Wood and director Danny Fiszman say no.

YES!

OUT WITH PETER HILL WOOD!  OUT WITH DANNY FISZMAN!  WHAT DO THEY KNOW ABOUT ARSENAL???

The “Adebayor £80,000″ story is one of the worst stories I have ever seen written.  Who wrote that? Neil Ashton.  Neil, that “story” was worse than most blogs.  You got Adebayor, Usmanov, and Chelsea all jumbled up in there.  Thierry Henry even makes an appearance, for God’s sake!   Focus!  Focus Neil!  You can do it, you no talent ass-clown.

The Hleb stories are more widely spread and that’s because Hleb’s agent actually said something.  Something verifiable, something real:

He (Helb) is leaving Arsenal even though they want to offer him a new long-term contract and better conditions. Only time will tell if leaving is the right decision, but there’s no way back now. Everything will be cleared up in the next two weeks.

Wenger moved quickly to squash the rumors and remind everyone that regardless of whether the Agent wants the player to move, only Arsenal and the player can make that decision.

You cannot stop people talking but at the moment there is nothing (to discuss)

That’s it.  End of story.  Agents will talk, be prepared for it this summer, especially since the press seem to have seized upon the “Arsenal in Player Crisis” story line.  At any given moment this summer, every player at the club will be rumored to leave, from Cesc to Keiran Gibbs; no player will be left unscathed.  The British tabloids have a job to do and nothing sells papers quite like seeing a “top four club in crisis.”  Add in some stories about Usmanov’s summer takeover bid (which can’t happen but they’ll report on it anyway!!) and it should be a summer of utter shite from the press.

I recommend a summer of playing a lot of football, if you can.  My Achilles is almost healed and I should be out and about in June.

Now, back to Hleb for a second…  You don’t know this because I didn’t blog last year, but I hated Hleb last year.  I mean viscerally hated the man.  I tried to justify this hatred by counting the number of times he turned the ball over in one game.  I think he had something like 13 turnovers before I lost interest. Never mind that I’m not an official statistician, the point is I hated him.

Hleb did a good job of changing my mind about his abilities this season.  He’ is a hell of a dribbler, and a hell of a passer, especially in close quarters, and when he’s slotted in the center of the pitch, he’s a magician with the ball.  But isn’t that the problem?  Cesc plays in that spot and unless Hleb is scoring goals, he’s not a proper striker, so playing him behind Adebayor and ahead of Cesc is a bit of a waste isn’t it?

I think the player knows all this.  I think he is intent on playing in Cesc’s spot and, well, that’s just not going to happen.  Not in England.  Hleb’s too slight to play central midfield in England.  So, Wenger had to either put him on the wing (when is the last time you saw Hleb put in a proper wing cross?) or put him in that strange support striker role.  So, I can see that the player would be upset and wanting a move.

I’d like to see him stay.  He could make a great super-sub; you know, club’s down a goal and they need another attacking option, put Hleb on.  He’s not going to shoot, but he’s going to stretch and confound denfenses and sometimes that will lead to goals.

But do you see Hleb playing the part of “super-sub?”  Me either.  Enjoy the Gelatto, Hleb, I just hope Arsenal gets a decent transfer fee for him in return.

Kinda rushed, sorry about that, expect more good stuff tomorrow.  See you then.

Aveline Marie

I don’t care if King Kong himself took a huge dump on both Chelsea and Man U there won’t be a blog today because today my girlfriend delivered our 7lb 13oz baby girl; Aveline Marie.

Welcome little Gooner!

Say 'what?' one more time…

The foreigners are taking over and may God forgive them if they can’t speak English or if there are too many of them in any one place.

Yes, your lovely Premiership is being overrun by the Godless foreign hordes: Brazilians-cum-Croats, African francophones, Russians, Berbatovians, Ukrainians, Americans, the Irish, and worst of all… the French. Sepp Blatter is having none of it, the English Immigration folks are having none of it, and I’m left scratching my head wondering what color the sky is in their world.

As many of you already know, I have been steadfastly against Sepp’s attempted interventions because I think they are 100% wrongheaded. He starts with the claim that he wants to address the inequality in football

Shall we let the rich become richer and say nothing? The big money is coming out of the Champions League – it’s the biggest league in the world and practically 80% of the income goes directly to the 32 participating clubs

Quotas won’t do anything but put higher premiums on players who already command outrageous sums; if you think English players are overpriced now, wait until Arsenal, Man U, and Liverpool have to have 6 a side. In that system, mediocre players like Pennant would be worth probably £40m (Shaun Wright-Phillips commanded £30m BEFORE the quotas and he doesn’t even play). And Sepp is asking for 6 a side — 6 Players of national origin in each club. You want to tear down the “rich get richer” problem in football, by making English footballers command a premium?

After an initial period where top English talent would gravitate toward the top four clubs, those clubs would start spending huge resources signing English children and scouring the English countryside for potential signings. Oddly enough, a few months ago, Platini was looking to protect the children from being transferred from club to club. Under Sepp’s proposed system, transfers of minors and minors signing contracts would be increased dramatically. In fact, clubs would have to ask for greater protection of their youth academies if the “6 a side” rule were to take effect because otherwise English players turning 16 would be able to just leave their academy and sign huge contacts at the top clubs. Sepp’s plan would, in essence, give extraordinary power to 16 years olds and their agents.

Instead of breaking the stranglehold of the top four, Sepp would concentrate their power; by making English players a premium product, only the teams with the largest stadiums and biggest operating budgets could afford them. Take Man City and Micah Richards as an example. Micah would not be playing for City right now if this rule was in effect, he would be somewhere where they could afford to pay him double what he’s worth simply because he’s got the right passport. That means that City would have to field a lesser Center Back, which weakens City and strengthens whoever Richards went to.

That doesn’t seem to alleviate the “rich get richer” problem, does it?

What’s even weirder about Blatter’s extraordinary death grip on this concept is that he’s overt about it being about “national pride.” Wait… what?

This rule will be fighting against the monopolies of clubs and leagues. But we are not fighting the problem of money but for the identity of national teams.

So, all you English fans who think that the Welsh, Scots, Irish, and the Northern Irish would count toward this quota you’re dead wrong, because Sepp Blatter wants to bring back nationalism and he makes no bones about about it. He attacks players (especially Brazilians) who “switch” nationalities and wants to ban that stuff too.

After only a two-year period, a player can receive nationality from another country and there is a danger that in 2014 half the players in the World Cup could come from Brazil!

This old thinking is really distasteful to me. Nationalism as a concept has been thoroughly discredited. If Sepp Blatter wants to hold onto an idea that died in 1945, then more power to him. But he should be relegated to the fringe of ideas. The world has changed irrevocably in the last century and we need LESS nationalism and not more. We need more freedom to move from place to place, not less. We need fewer boundaries on the exchange of culture and ideas, not fewer.

Shame on you Sepp Blatter for making this about nationalism. I’m an American who loves English football and if I support any national team, it’s France. According to Sepp, I’m part of the problem. I should be supporting some crappy team here in Tacoma and supporting Team U.S.A. Why? Because I happened to be born here? That’s the dumbest idea ever.

I love going to England to see Arsenal and the only thing that will stop that is if people like Sepp Blatter start making the beautiful game into something ugly, small and provincial. Thankfully, the EU and UEFA have promised not to let it happen.

Until tomorrow.