Arsene Wenger is not feeling well

Internationals are over for a few months and other than Theo Walcott, Arsenal look to have come out relatively unscathed, though Arsene Wenger may have picked up a bug of some sort: he’s making some very strange statements.

Cesc played all 90 minutes in Spain’s rout of, oh who cares, and will fly back to London for a good rest and hopefully a chat with the boss. He’s not playing this weekend and I hope he clears his head and figures out that Flamini and his buddy Hleb are not going to come sauntering through the door. Nor is Spain colleague Alonso going to ride in on his white horse and lead the team to victory. Cesc is going to have to take a leadership role on this team, I don’t care how young he is, there is literally no other option. People have been saying that he’d make a great captain, that this is his team, that he’s the star, blah, blah, blah. Well, the team is in an emotional toilet and clinging to the rim as clubs like Hull have a flush. Time for Cesc to show his mettle, quit acting so emo, quit looking for leadership elsewhere and pull this team up himself. No one is coming in to save us, he’s going to have to do it himself.

Theo underwent shoulder surgery last night and is now recuperating, to the tune of three months. Like I said yesterday, this doesn’t give Wenger as much of a selection headache as people think: Nasri can play there, Vela next week, Wilshere, etc. What is worrying is that Kolo is reportedly out and that raises the question as to who Arsene would put in the right back spot with Sagna, Kolo, the Tea Lady, and that clown Eboue all injured. After the boss spoke so highly of him this week the answer is clear: pair Djourou and Gallas in the back and put Silvestre in right back.

If the midfield looks a bit murky it’s because the old-heads are calling for Eboue’s reinstatement, which is sort of like hoping you get an outbreak of herpes before your honeymoon. Eboue was one of those most directly responsible for the breakdown at Tottenham (him and Song) and paired with his long history of histrionics on the pitch, incompetence with the ball, incompetence without the ball, and suspect defending as of late I’d rather he didn’t play. In fact, I’d rather Arsenal play a man down than play with Eboue.

The only real murky part is who will play on the right? My guess is a lineup of Nasri, Song, Denilson, and Diaby; and yes, I’m being serious. It’s always a crap shoot though, Arsene could pick Wilshere to play in Theo’s spot, he could play van Persie on the left (he’s done it before) and Nasri on the right, he could play with a man down and punt on 2nd down, you just never know. The announcement of the lineups is fast becoming my favorite part of this season because it’s the only predictable part of the match; in it’s unpredictability.

Arsenal are the talk of all the papers again with every disgruntled defender and half-assed holding midfielder being linked to the club. The big story though, had to be the speculation that Arsene would go nook-u-lar on the FA after hearing that they hurt his star pupil. So, what did he say?

I’m disappointed because he is an important part of the squad, but that could have happened in training here, it was an accident that could have happened anywhere. I do not blame the FA for that. It was accidental in training and I accept that. In a moment like that you do not think about compensation you think about how you can replace the player.

WHAT? Does Arsene have syphilis or something? Just last week he was talking about how unfair the international schedule is and now, suddenly, he’s all “accident’s happen?” I guess this is just going to go down as another example of what a strange season it’s been.

Press conference tomorrow, Man Citeh on Saturday, I’m off to work, even if I feel like death, that’s it for today, this sentence needs more commas, cheers.

Arsenal's Quad Hopes Shouldered?

angry-wenger

I woke up this morning intending to be chirpily optimistic (you can’t spell optimistic without TIM!) about the Arsenal season. I was going to mention that irregardless (yes, irregardless is a word) of the form against Aston Villa, Fulham, Sunderland, Tottenham, Hull, and Stoke, Arsenal have a tremendous amount of talent both on and off the pitch. So much talent that even 4 losses in the league could, possibly be overcome and the team could still win the Premiership. It looks unlikely, given the lack of a holding midfield, the lack of a strong defensive pairing, an obviously toothless attack, our star player showing his worst form ever, and the team lacking any leadership or drive; unlikely but not un-possible. After I reminded my loyal reader that Arsenal are still mathematically capable of winning 4 trophies this season I was then I was going to get all hopeful about all the Arsenal players coming home safe and happy and refreshed after resting on the bench/scoring 100 hat-tricks. Hey, if great footballing minds like Rafa Benitez and John Terry are still afraid of Arsenal, who am I — some two-bit blogger — to question them? ARSENAL FOR THE QUAD!

Unfortunately, fate loves the optimistic, because those are the folks who are most injured when she takes a giant dump on them.

%0shi(@#(0#(*^#%^cocksandwich&(937&&#(0mother*767&#%^#$

In the interest of full disclosure: I already hate the internationals. Why would I care? I’m an American who loves a French team that plays for a club in North London. Yes yes, when the World Cup comes on TV, I watch it, I love football after all, but world cup football is not my raison d’ĂȘtre, Arsenal football is. So, as I said yesterday, International friendlies are at best a distraction and at worse an injury-induced turning point in a season. Thus, it is with great displeasure that I can announce Theo Walcott has been injured… in training… for a pointless friendly… and could be out for 10 weeks! (see the link above)

Deep breath — Let’s try to look on the bright side for a second, ok?

First, Theo has been in poor form and needed a rest. He had a patch there in October where he looked absolutely brilliant and has since been struggling a bit. His crosses have looked very poor and even his trademark speed and ability to break down defenses with his dribbling has suffered lately. So, 10 weeks off should see him come back fresh just in time for the title challenge, right?

Second, Arsene Wenger should make the FA pay Theo’s salary. Not because they need the money, but just to make a point. I don’t care if they have to take it to the Court of Arbitration for Sports (CAS) and it costs them more than they get in return, they should sue the FA. What on earth were they thinking scheduling an absolutely pointless friendly in the middle of one of the busiest times of the season?

Third, in Theo’s absence, Arsene will have to make some adjustments. I heard “Eboue” bandied about and I’m not sure who this person is. Does Arsenal have someone named “Eboue” on the team? I vaguely recall some nightmarish player named something similar but I can’t quite put my finger on it… no. Arsene has lots of options over there on the right: Vela could do it, Jack Wilshere plays there in the Carling Cup matches, Diaby can do it, Nasri is a naturally right footed player and he could do it, and Wenger has even used van Persie as a left wing on occasion which frees up Nasri to play on the right. Noboue! Bring on one of the young guns! Let’s see Wilshere out there! I know we don’t want to bring him along too soon and over-play him and all that but hey, needs must is the devil’s playground, or something, right?

Fourth, isn’t Eduardo almost back? He’s played in the wing positions as well, not to great acclaim but hell, he’s better than playing “Eboue” or whatever his name is.

Ok, now see, that’s not so bad, is it? Theo is out 10 weeks but it just means more opportunity for this burgeoning young team to show their stuff. 10 weeks to rest Theo and bring him on for the big push at the end of the season.

10 weeks to turn this frown up side down.

What the hell else are we going to do, get all emo like Tottenham supporters?

F*ck that, ARSENAL FOR THE QUAD!

Arsenal’s Quad Hopes Shouldered?

angry-wenger

I woke up this morning intending to be chirpily optimistic (you can’t spell optimistic without TIM!) about the Arsenal season. I was going to mention that irregardless (yes, irregardless is a word) of the form against Aston Villa, Fulham, Sunderland, Tottenham, Hull, and Stoke, Arsenal have a tremendous amount of talent both on and off the pitch. So much talent that even 4 losses in the league could, possibly be overcome and the team could still win the Premiership. It looks unlikely, given the lack of a holding midfield, the lack of a strong defensive pairing, an obviously toothless attack, our star player showing his worst form ever, and the team lacking any leadership or drive; unlikely but not un-possible. After I reminded my loyal reader that Arsenal are still mathematically capable of winning 4 trophies this season I was then I was going to get all hopeful about all the Arsenal players coming home safe and happy and refreshed after resting on the bench/scoring 100 hat-tricks. Hey, if great footballing minds like Rafa Benitez and John Terry are still afraid of Arsenal, who am I — some two-bit blogger — to question them? ARSENAL FOR THE QUAD!

Unfortunately, fate loves the optimistic, because those are the folks who are most injured when she takes a giant dump on them.

%0shi(@#(0#(*^#%^cocksandwich&(937&&#(0mother*767&#%^#$

In the interest of full disclosure: I already hate the internationals. Why would I care? I’m an American who loves a French team that plays for a club in North London. Yes yes, when the World Cup comes on TV, I watch it, I love football after all, but world cup football is not my raison d’ĂȘtre, Arsenal football is. So, as I said yesterday, International friendlies are at best a distraction and at worse an injury-induced turning point in a season. Thus, it is with great displeasure that I can announce Theo Walcott has been injured… in training… for a pointless friendly… and could be out for 10 weeks! (see the link above)

Deep breath — Let’s try to look on the bright side for a second, ok?

First, Theo has been in poor form and needed a rest. He had a patch there in October where he looked absolutely brilliant and has since been struggling a bit. His crosses have looked very poor and even his trademark speed and ability to break down defenses with his dribbling has suffered lately. So, 10 weeks off should see him come back fresh just in time for the title challenge, right?

Second, Arsene Wenger should make the FA pay Theo’s salary. Not because they need the money, but just to make a point. I don’t care if they have to take it to the Court of Arbitration for Sports (CAS) and it costs them more than they get in return, they should sue the FA. What on earth were they thinking scheduling an absolutely pointless friendly in the middle of one of the busiest times of the season?

Third, in Theo’s absence, Arsene will have to make some adjustments. I heard “Eboue” bandied about and I’m not sure who this person is. Does Arsenal have someone named “Eboue” on the team? I vaguely recall some nightmarish player named something similar but I can’t quite put my finger on it… no. Arsene has lots of options over there on the right: Vela could do it, Jack Wilshere plays there in the Carling Cup matches, Diaby can do it, Nasri is a naturally right footed player and he could do it, and Wenger has even used van Persie as a left wing on occasion which frees up Nasri to play on the right. Noboue! Bring on one of the young guns! Let’s see Wilshere out there! I know we don’t want to bring him along too soon and over-play him and all that but hey, needs must is the devil’s playground, or something, right?

Fourth, isn’t Eduardo almost back? He’s played in the wing positions as well, not to great acclaim but hell, he’s better than playing “Eboue” or whatever his name is.

Ok, now see, that’s not so bad, is it? Theo is out 10 weeks but it just means more opportunity for this burgeoning young team to show their stuff. 10 weeks to rest Theo and bring him on for the big push at the end of the season.

10 weeks to turn this frown up side down.

What the hell else are we going to do, get all emo like Tottenham supporters?

F*ck that, ARSENAL FOR THE QUAD!