Robbie Keane’s Steaming Pile of Tottenham

Depending on who you ask, Robbie Keane either “kicked off the mind games” or showed that pride cometh before the fall by boasting that Tottenham’s starting XI are as good as Arsenal’s and that they edge Arsenal on the bench. Given that it’s Friday and Le Boss’ press conference hasn’t been released yet, I thought that instead of a match preview, I’d just take Keane up on his challenge and see whether Spuds have managed to stack their Tottenham high enough to reach Arsenal. To do that, I’m taking both teams’ starting XI from their last Premier League match, and looking at those two teams and then delving into the injured reserve. We’ll do as close as we can a side-by-side comparison, see if you agree:

Mannone v. Gomes

Mannone got his Arsenal career off to a cracking start with a spectacular match against Fulham but since then has shown signs of weakness, none more so than his poor handling of Diamanti’s free kick against Wet Hams on Saturday. Throw in the fact that he’s inexperienced and that means he’ll make more of these mistakes and you’d be inclined to think that the edge goes to Gomes, but you’d be wrong.

Gomes does have a lot more experience than Mannone, a lot more experience making clownish mistakes. And while his distribution is stellar, his high claims are poor — which is pretty much the bag on Mannone as well.  Gomes’ best quality is his reactions but again, that’s Mannone’s best quality too.

I have to ask myself would I rather have Gomes or Mannone on Saturday? Honestly, I don’t think it would matter much. In 4 Premier League matches Gomes has made just 9 saves, let in 4 goals, and kept 0 clean sheets. Mannone has 5 games, made 19 saves, let in 5 goals, but kept 2 clean sheets. Really, it’s a wash.

Vermaelen v. Bassong

No question, Vermaelen is on 4 goals already and is on the short list for defender of the season. Bassong is a decent player but is second fiddle to Woody or King. 1-0 to the Arsenal.

Gallas v. Woodgate

Two vastly experienced defenders who have played for top level teams and for their country. That said, only one still plays for country and only one still plays for a top team: William Gallas. Plus Gallas already has 3 goals this season, Woody only has 1 GAME. 2-0 to the Arsenal.

Clichy v. Assou-Ekotto

Both players have blazing speed and lung bursting stamina, but Assou-Ekotto has a goal (and it was a good one too) and Clichy does not. In fact, ask most Arsenal supporters and they see Gibbs already pushing Clichy for his spot on the team owing to Gibbs’ superior crossing ability. Despite the fact that Clihy is in the French national team and Assou-Ekotto isn’t, I’m giving the edge here to Spuds, 2-1 to the Arsenal.

Sagna v. Corluka

Tottenham’s 6’3″ Croatian international has impressed hugely at RB and with his size he can slot in at CB, also a goal threat. I love Sagna he’s a defender’s defender and it’s not taking anything away from Sagna to say that Tottenham have the advantage in that spot. Corluka’s just been that good, 2-2 draw.

Song v. Palacios

Tough call here because both players are important to their team in different ways. Palacios is a bit more rangey and Song is a lot more solid and more able to slot in as CB when Vermaelen makes a run forward. So while Palacios is more of a box-to-box player, Song is more of a traditional holding mid. I’m going to go with Song here, just because I love the way that Alex Song has come on this season, 3-2 to the Arsenal.

Diaby v. Huddlestone

No question, I’d pick… neither. 3-2 to the Arsenal.

Fabregas v. Kranjcar

Kranjkar is a fine little player, but I don’t see Barcelona constantly courting him, 4-2 to the Arsenal.

Eboue v. Lennon

“Eboue is the best player on Arsenal” — My friend Alex being cheeky. Look, I love Eboue’s heart, I love his defending, I love that he leaves everything on the field, but Aaron Lennon and his go-faster eyebrows have simply put in an amazing start to the season so much so that he’s pushed Theo Walcott out of the England side, 4-3 to the Arsenal.

Arshavin v. Crouch

Andrei Arshavin is a game winner, Peter Crouch is tall and robotic, 5-3 to the Arsenal.

Robin van Persie v. Robbie Keane

Robin van Persie has 5 goals and 5 assists in 9 games and Robbie Keane has 5 goals and 2 assists in 10 games, and it’s a close call. Robin is currently playing center forward for Arsenal, which is a hugely demanding position and he’s playing the best football of his life in that role. Robbie is playing well this year in his role as second striker, but is overshadowed by the play of Lennon at the moment. Still, I’m giving this one to Robin, his goals/game and assists totals are just slightly higher, 6-3 to Arsenal.

The Benches

Supposedly, this is where Spuds have an advantage, according to Keane so let’s take a look. Arsenal went to Wet Hams with Silvestre, Almunia, Eduardo, Nasri, Bendtner, Ramsey, and Gibbs on their bench. Tottenham hosted Stoke with Jenas, Cudicini, Dawson, Hutton, Pavlyuchenko, Bale, and Naughton on theirs. I’m giving Cudicini the advantage over Almunia, Jenas the slight advantage over Rambo (experience only), and Silvestre and Dawson are a wash.  The rest of Arsenal’s bench is much stronger than Tottenham, hands down. Pavlyuchenko is saying that he’s got psychological issues and put up against the quality of Eduardo the difference is night and day: can you imagine Pav coming back from Eduardo’s broken leg? Nasri alone is better than that entire bench and Bendtner is a great target man. Gibbs is pushing for first team at Arsenal and might get a world cup call up from England while Bale has been exposed as a one trick pony. These two benches aren’t even comparable, 7-3 to the Arsenal.

But what about the infirmary?

It’s true that Tottenham are missing the quality of Luca Modric, who is easily their best player. But I only have one question; would Modric start on this Arsenal team? Ahead of Rosicky? Ahead of Fabregas? Nasri? Arshavin? I don’t think so. I actually rate Rosicky way higher than Modric and then we also have Walcott, Djourou, and Denilson who are all first team starters waiting to get healthy. At keeper, Arsenal #1 Fabianski is out for 3 weeks — Fabianski against Gomes? No question, I’ll take Fabby. Throw in the fact that Vela is pushing for first team starts with his brilliant play and you can see that Arsenal have some serious depth waiting to come back from injury. Who are Spuds eagerly awaiting? Return of the King? Yeah, 8-3 to the Arsenal.


Maybe Robbie Keane is a comedian? Maybe he thought he was “geeing up” the Spuds ahead of tomorrow’s match? Personally, I don’t know but I suspect that Wenger has taped that Article on the inside of every Arsenal player’s locker for the match tomorrow and I suspect that Arsenal will be extra eager to show exactly how much better they are than Tottenham. Because in the end,  no matter how tall you stack a pile of Tottenham, it’s still a pile of Tottenham.

The match kicks off tomorrow at 5:45 am PST (because we Americans don’t set our clocks back yet) and is available in the States in glorious High Definition on ESPN2. Right around the same time we should be finding out that we’ve pulled Spurs in the Carling Cup which will afford us an opportunity to show Robbie Keane than not only is the first team better, but our youth team is better than their first team as well. Anyway, stop by tomorrow at 5:15 and join us for the Liveblog won’t you? See you then!

Arsenal 2-1 Liverpool; The Rain From Spain Falls Mainly on the Carling Cup Campaign

Does Swan Lake need a male lead?


Half a dozen or so mixed Arsenal and Liverpool fans stood beers in hand, food cooking in the kitchen of Doyle’s Public House as publican Russ fiddled with the computer in order to get ESPN 360 to cough up a feed for us to watch. It reminded me of the days when I was a kid and I would watch television on an old black and white set, where you’d dial in the channel, tune it by moving the rabbit ears around a bit (maybe they had tin-foil on them) and then adjust the fine-tuning knob to get the best possible grainy picture and broken, static filled sound.

The picture was in color but the broadcast wasn’t much better than if we had dialed it in with rabbit ears. I’m not complaining, because I remember when I was a kid and living in Germany, we watched Superbowl XII on tape delayed broadcasts on AFN on a black and white television. I’m just saying that there were time jumps, breaks in continuity, and a general, erm, ‘blobbiness’ to the whole endeavor. So much so that while I’d love to write an actual match report I honestly had a hard time telling a lot of players apart. For example, I couldn’t tell if that white-dude-ish looking blob going forward was Aaron Ramsey or Nicklas Bendtner! Meanwhile, the midfield was just a jumble of folks for me as it was hard to pick out when it was Gibbs or Eastmond or Silvestre making a tackle or putting in a pass.

Like I said, I’m not complaining. Despite the picture quality and general choppiness, it was the best match I’ve seen all season. I’m just saying that I can’t give a proper match report because I didn’t really see enough of the game, so I’ll leave that to the pros:

Match Reports

Telegraph: It is part of the lexicon in north London that ‘Arsène knows’ and Wednesday night will have done little to dissuade disciples of Arsenal. With all eyes on the arrival in English football of Alberto Aquilani for Liverpool, it was another, rather cheaper, midfielder – Fran Mérida – whose presence lit up the Emirates and tipped the scales in favour of Arsenal.

Goodplaya (actually at the match): IN A nutshell, this was great fun for a tenner.

Match Video

The Arsenalist found some Chinese stream to tape and it’s pretty funny. I love when both Merida and Insua hits their wonder strikes and the Chinese announcers go, “WHOA.” Good stuff.

Man of the Match

Merida got his first ever goal for Arsenal and capped the performance by setting Bendtner up for the game winning goal, so for that alone I have to give him the MotM. But to hit the goal the way he hit it was even more spectacular and so despite the hard work of Bendtner and the eye-popping performance of Eastmond in the holding role, I really have to give it to the Spaniard.

I realize that a lot of folks will have a different opinion here so feel free to disagree with me in the comments.

The Good

What a night: end-to-end football, played at a torrid pace, by two teams who are playing football “the right way,” replete with incisive passing, wondrous goals, and the Arsenal comes out on top. It doesn’t get much better that.

In goal, I thought Fabby had a good night and showed why he should be considered for number 1 on Saturday. His high claims were spot on all night, his saves were good though he wasn’t really tested, and his mobility off the goal line in order to help out as a sweeperkeeper was excellent. The only blight on his game is that his distribution was a bit spotty and he should have been one or two inches further back when Insua hit that shot.

I’m kidding about the positioning thing, though with David Bentley trying to get a crack in the Tottenham first team for Saturday he will need to pay special attention to positioning.

Bendtner worked hard and the goal he nabbed was very Torres-esque. It took a good deal of strength to get past his marker and keep enough balance to drive the goal into the top of the net. Kudos to Bendtner.

Nasri looked lively to start and showed Thomas Rosicky why he will be pushing him for a spot this season. He flagged a bit at the end, but give the guy a break he’s just now coming back from injury!

Eduardo also played the full 90 and was unlucky not to have a goal or two last night as he prowled around the Liverpool goal. There was one mad scramble in particular where he challenged very hard for the ball and just missed by inches — I think, I couldn’t really tell! — and it was really good to see him diving in for a goal challenge fearlessly. Arsenal will need Eduardo at 100% if they’re going to win something this year.

The Bad

I did notice that Insua was Bendtner’s marker and that after Babel nodded the ball down, Bendy basically gave up on the play. Teams will be looking to exploit that exact type of thing in Arsenal’s new look 4-3-3. Everyone, to a man, must track back and defend. Now, obviously, you can’t expect that every player will hit an Insua-like goal but I still don’t like the sight of an open opponent getting any shot. In fact, Arsenal seem to have a lot of these types of wonder goals from midfield scored on them. I can think of 4 off the top of my head: Essien, Bentley, Giovanni, and Insua.

Clearly, closing down on players in the attacking 3rd is vital.

Similarly, just before Insua got the ball I was going to say to Russ that it looked like Liverpool’s tactic was counter attack and long ball, mostly played through Babel up front. Which, I was going to say, means that Arsenal need to put pressure on the defenders who were delivering those long passes and make Liverpool play through the middle. Just as my mouth was opening to spit out this gem of wisdom, a long ball was played to Babel, who nodded to Insua, who left Bendtner standing in his Wellingtons, and dipped a ball past the outstretched arm of Fabby. Damnit boys, pressure!

The Ugly

Robbie Keane is a huge cunt, but here, let me remind him of the last time he played for a team in the top four:

A Liverpool to London return faster than Robbie Keane

End of.


Arsenal are now through to the quarter finals and it’s a quarter finals which will feature all Premier League teams and 6 of the 8 are all fighting for the League title. The final 8 teams look like this:

1. Arsenal
2. Aston Villa
3. Blackburn Cloggers
4. Chelsea
5. Man City
6. ManUre

The best possible draw is Pompey but even if you get Pompey (which will no doubt go to Chelsea) if you’re going to win the League Cup this year, you’re going to have to play against more than one of the top sides. Frankly, I don’t care which side we draw because I have a bone to pick with them all, I’m just hoping for home field advantage. Oh and for the record, I didn’t put them in that order, the Football League did, and it looks to be alphabetical — though I do like the fact that Arsenal are #1!

This competition has been seen as a bit of a dog these last few years and yet these same top sides have met in the Champions League semi-finals and even finals over that same period. So, in a sense, what we’re seeing is a sort of Champions League lite which is producing terrific football for bargain basement prices. As the boss said about last night’s match:

I felt it was more of a European cup quality tonight, than ‘Carling Cup.’ With what we have seen, combinations on both sides, the speed of the game, was outstanding, it was an outstanding game tonight!

All that and tickets were available for £10! Amazing.

The draw is on Saturday, right as we kickoff against Tottenham and I’d put money on us drawing Spuds again this year. It seems like we always get Spuds. Which could set up a delicious early Christmas present as Arsenal face a Carling Cup quarter final on December 2nd and Stoke on the 5th. I might just look into getting a plane ticket over for that. I mean, if we get home field advantage on Saturday that is.

Anyway, that’s it for today, I’m thinking of doing a player by player analysis of Tottenham v. Arsenal tomorrow, in order to give you all some ammunition to use against any Spuds who want to talk shit about their supposed 4th place aspirations. If I were to do such a thing, I might look at something like this Actim index and maybe a couple other factors. We’ll see tomorrow!

Arsenal v. Liverpool, Kids Love the Milk Cup

Not as prestigious as it once was, the League Cup, now called the Carling Cup and formerly known as the Milk Cup (way back in the 80s) still throws up the occasional  cracking tie. So, when I read that Arsenal would host Liverpool, my mind immediately went back to the last time Arsenal and Liverpool met in the League Cup and Arsenal did a 6-3 over them, at Anfield. That was really a night to remember and to think, if you live in London you could see such a clash for as little as £5. For me, that’s the real benefit of the League Cup, memorable clashes that almost every kid can afford to see in person.

Unfortunately, that 6-3 match is long gone; goal scoring superstar Julio “The Beast” Baptista bagged his quad and then tired of the dreary rain of London, or maybe the food, or whatever excuse he could come up with and bogged off back to Spain and is now in Rome.  In fact, not much is left of either of those two teams that met that day, even Almunia, who was backup keeper for Arsenal then, has been dropped and is now third choice keeper at Arsenal.

Given all the departures and arrivals I don’t think the last time these two teams met in the League Cup will matter much to any of them. Maybe Cesc will have a whimsical twinkle in his eye as he sits in the stands, smartly dressed no doubt, reminiscing about the year that Chelsea beat the cup out of our hands — I mean literally beat Arsenal up and took it, like a bully taking milk money. But for players like Merida, Gibbs, Aquilani, Babel and Ramsey this is a chance not to reminisce, but a chance to prove themselves, against another top four team to boot.

Hungry youth playing in a single elimination match against another top club in front of 60,000 screaming fans, that’s a match to watch.

Wenger’s passed a lot of milestones these last few weeks (Sportsboys has an awesome breakdown of Wenger’s tenure) and so why not throw one more on to the pile: today will be his 750th match in charge. We all know the record, W 436 D 177 L 136, on the way to three Premier League titles and four FA Cups and as glorious as that is there are two things missing; the League Cup and the Champions League.

Don’t think that Arsene doesn’t want to win today or that he doesn’t care about this tournament just because he likes to blood youth. The inclusion of Nasri, Eduardo, Bendtner, Senderos, and Silvestre in the squad is a tip that Wenger is taking this match and this tournament very seriously. I can guarantee you that if Arsenal win the Carling Cup, which I said they have every chance to do in the season preview, they will proudly display the trophy in the trophy case and point to that as a jumping off point for more silverware.

The lineup should be straight forward: Nasri, Eduardo and Bendtner leading the attack; Ramsey, Merida and Coquelin in the middle; Gilbert, Senderos, Silvestre, and Gibbs holding the line; and Fabianski starting in goal. Notably absent from that lineup is Jack Wilshere who failed a fitness test on Sunday due to an ankle knock.

Liverpool’s £20m Summer replacement for Xabi Alonso (and one time Arsenal target) Alberto Aquilani will get his first start for Liverpool today which means that there will be two rusty players on the pitch tonight, Nasri and Aquilani.

Irregardless the rust, I expect that both teams will go for it tonight and fight for all 90 minutes. After all, for 11 young men tonight will be their last chance to prove themselves this year — they will leave everything on the field.

Ten Things I Hate About You

I bet they would sell the naming rights on the back stand too!

10. Too many supporters, even at 50,ooo seats they would be hard pressed to fill the stadium.

9. Why is the jumbotron showing the Spurs celebrating, when the action on the pitch is different? Maybe it’s a continuous loop of their 5-1 Carling Cup win over Arsenal.

8. It looks like at least one Spurs player is moving, that’s one too many.

7. They try to steal the clock end idea from Arsenal but everyone knows Spurs fans can only read digital clocks.

6. Speaking of moving, there should be a blur where their twitchy manager stands.

5. The back of the single-tier stand will never read “Tottenam Hotspur” everyone knows it should read “Naming Rights.”

4. There’s no way Spurs fans could afford real flags

3. It’s unlikely that Spurs would play a night game, unless they’re in the League Championship, don’t they play a lot of their games at night?

2. The Spurs players should be in red and white, since they obviously wish they were Arsenal so badly.

1. There’s no way that the grass would be that green, everyone knows that grass can’t grow in the shadow of the Emirates.

Right, that’s about it for today, despite the regular kickoff time in England, the match is on at 12:45 (PST) because American clocks are special and don’t go back to standard time until next week (thanks George W. Bush!).  Pretty much the only way to watch the mach here in the States is via ESPN 360 and a few of us will be gathering at Doyle’s Public House in Tacoma to watch and support. There will be Liverpool supporters there as well but they are the friendly sort and you should come down so that I’m not vastly outnumbered.

See you tomorrow for the Good, Bad, and Ugly. UP THE ARSE!