If you're going to lie, lie big.

First off, I hope this morning’s 3rd place Vuvuzela consolation cup match finds you well. It doesn’t find Cesc Fabregas well, or maybe it does find him well and he’s just not playing because his international manager is mad at him. I dunno, either way, there isn’t much to say about this game since there aren’t any Arsenal players on the pitch.

I do want to mention one thing: those Vuvuzela’s that everyone is suddenly talking about are not new. I distinctly remember them annoying me to no end during the 2006 World Cup and they are a mainstay at any MLS game. They are not new, in fact, I have railed about these things for years.  Standing at a match and making mindless noise is not “support” it’s anti-supporting  because they actually destroy the ability of other fans to support from the stands. The constant insufferable droning makes it impossible to chant a player’s name and thus to boost him, to cheer when your squad does something good, to boo opposition players, and they disrupt on-field communication between your own team!

Symbolically the fact that they sound like a pack of angry bees is perfect because if you’re sitting in the stands blowing one of those things then you are a mindless drone. If FIFA learns one thing from this pointless tournament, let it be that the Vuvuzela should be banned from all stadiums the world over.

How to make shiat up: 101

No sooner had the ink dried on my “hey let’s make shiat up” column yesterday than the links started coming in fast from a press brigade eager to show a small timer like me how it’s really done.

The News of the World said “I see your Tim Sparv and raise you a Karim Benzema!” Now, I know a lot of folks wish that this was a true story. Benzema is one of those players who occupies that rarefied air of “X-Box Heroes” — a player who pretty much everyone building a fantasy team first reaches for. But the brilliance of this story is that it hinges on another story and it’s a story that I’m not sure will come to pass; that Arsenal will use the funds from the sale of Adebayor to Milan to fund the purchase of Benzema.

First off, AC Milan is only talking up Adebayor because they want to sign Dzeko and have so far been unsuccessful in their attempts to get Wolfsburg to the negotiating table. Second, if Adebayor and Benzema cost the same, and Adebayor is Milan’s 3rd choice target why would Milan not just buy Benzema? By all accounts he’s a better player, he’s younger, and he’s almost certainly had fewer disciplinary problems.

No, this Adebayor/Benzema talk is just talk.  HA! And now Real Madrid is involved, there’s no way he’s coming to Arsenal. Either way, that’s some world class “making shiat up” right there.

Right, that’s about it for today. I’m going to try to have a kickaround at 10:30 and then maybe watch a tape of the U.S.A. v. Brazil game — you know, a lazy Sunday.

See you tomorrow!

We're entering another dimension…

There’s nothing going on today.

The 3rd place match for the most important trophy in the history of world sport won’t kick off until 5:30am PST tomorrow and the finals won’t be until 11am PST so I’m stuck here trolling the internet for rumor, innuendo, hell, even something made up would be nice. Unfortunately, it’s dead out there. Well, there’s a one paragraph interview with Arsene Wenger on L’Equipe (in French) in which he gives a world exclusive insight into the “Arsenal way.” Uhhh, basically, he says that he didn’t go to Real Madrid because Arsenal are entering another dimension, where time stands still, door open, and Arsenal win a Champions League trophy with a bunch of teenagers.

It’s really fantastic.

Meanwhile, anyone who has been linked to Arsenal pretty much ever is now saying that they won’t be coming in. Yaya signed a 1 year extension with Barca which should stave off the Yaya to Arsenal speculation at least until January. I updated the Players who didn’t sign for Arsenal page, don’t make me edit it again!

Felipe Melo is the other oft speculated about player and his agent is saying that he’s happy at Fiorentino, which is good because I don’t want the bugger. Well, I’ll take anyone that Arsene signs, but I haven’t seen anything special from him… yet.  I’ll be watching him play against the USA tomorrow (if he gets a start, his teammates were pissed at him the other day) and I’ll write about the final match on Monday. Meanwhile, tomorrow’s blog will be a recap of the 3rd place match — if Cesc plays.

Like I said, there’s not much going on today, so in the time honored tradition of all “reporters” I’m going to make shiat up!

Taking a page from Wenger’s entering another dimension, today’s made up story is part fantasy, part reality, and it’s called “Who should Arsene Wenger buy from the U21 tournament?”

Basically, we all know that Wenger isn’t going to buy experience. We also know that he’s looking for a bargain. So, who better to pick up than some kids who shine at the U21s?

You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the u21  Zone!

Tim Sparv: Solid defensive midfielder who has shown leadership qualities as the Finnish U21 captain. He’s also almost 2 meters tall and showed great promise in the air when he scored a header for Finland against England in their 2-1 loss. Tim Sparv is also reportedly a “good boy” which Wenger prizes highly, and he speaks impeccable English having been a roommate with Theo Walcott at Sothhampton.  Throw in the fact that he’s out of contract with his club Halmstad and he could be lured to Arsenal for dirt cheap.  Chance of this happening? 11/10, a no name youthful player, who hasn’t been linked to Arsenal in the press? This is a done deal!

Marco Andreolli: What? You mean you’ve never head of him either? He’s a tallish, solid Italian defender who has good heading instincts. He’s formed a relatively effective partnership in defense for Italy and caught the eye of many scouts. He’s currently on loan to Roma and isn’t getting much playing time behind their starting lineup. Chance of this happening? 3/10, he’s got many of the qualities that Arsene looks for but he’s Italian and I don’t remember the last time an Italian came to Arsenal.

Fabrice Muamba: Muamba’s the kind of player that one day has a great game and the next he struggles. Over the last few matches for England, however, he’s been massively impressive earning man of the match plaudits from his coach (he didn’t win them from the awarders though!). Though he may lack the passing range that Arsene is looking for there is no doubt that his tackling and heading would add a ton of steel to our young team. Chance of this happening? 5/10. Wenger has maintained for like 100 years that he’s never going to re-buy a player he let go, which would normally mean this is a 1/10, but Wenger has the capacity to surprise some times and I could honestly see him bringing Muamba in.

So, there you go, I made some stuff up. What do you all think? Who has impressed you this summer? Make some stuff up youself below — it’s fun!

Adebayor wins third runner up in AC Milan beauty pageant

adekickoff.jpg

7amkickoff.com

Those of you who are using an RSS feed to read my posts should go ahead and point your newsreaders to 7amkickoff.com because on July 1, I’m switching to my own domain. You can go over there now and look at it if you want, some CSS bits are still being manipulated and then I have to export and import all my content (no small feat in a two year old WordPress account) and then I can start whoring myself out to advertisers!

Adebayor

AC Milan VP Adriano Galliani has expressed his interest in Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor.  And by “expressed interest” I mean, put Ade on a pedestal and draped the bronze medal around his neck:

We are only looking for a forward, and our aim is Dzeko. He is a Wolfsburg player, and they have a right to keep him – even though he continues to claim that his desire is to come to Milan. From experience, I know it’s difficult to keep a player whose wish is to leave. If we fail to get Dzeko then Luis Fabiano could be an alternative – as could Adebayor.

Owch.

I got a chance to watch Fabiano yesterday and last week and in my estimation, Adebayor is actually a better striker. That said, it’s a testament to how far Ade’s stock has fallen that AC Milan put him below Fabiano. Fabiano will easily miss as many shots as Ade but he’ll at least work on the pitch and I haven’t seen him get caught offside yet, so I can see why Galliani puts him above Ade.

Which is sad.

I’m not going to sit here and rip Adebayor because I really like him and I suspect he’s going to be with us next year. I just hope Wenger and Cesc grab him by the nape and shake him out of his vegetable torpor. If he plays like he did two years ago, every Arsenal supporter will get behind him, but if he puts in just one lazy performance, I think that Arsenal fans will be unforgiving.

The ball’s in his court.

Cesc quells the stupidity

I’m not sure how many times I need to talk directly about my commitment to Arsenal as I continue to say the same thing over and over again, but it appears that every time I have spoken to the Spanish media recently, my words have bounced back to England, leaving question marks about my future.

So, for anyone who is unclear or may have misunderstood what my position is, let me make myself absolutely crystal clear. I am wholeheartedly committed to Arsenal and my future lies with this great Club.

It is a fact that we have not won a trophy for four years and yes, I am angry about that, but that anger stems from the deep deep desire I have to win things with Arsenal. I care about this Club and believe in this team. I am proud to captain this team and proud to wear the shirt. It really upsets me when people express my thoughts otherwise. The spirit in this squad is fantastic and we have the ability and mentality to compete on all fronts for silverware. Make no mistake, we are focused and determined to show that we are capable of achieving great things together.

Maybe Cesc should consider being a little more circumspect with the interviews. Either that, or end every sentence with “I am not leaving Arsenal.” The interviews would go like this:

Interviewer: So, Cesc, how are you?
Cesc:
Good, I’m not leaving Arsenal.
Int: Excellent. So, what do you think of Barcelona’s 4-3-3 formation?
Cesc: I enjoy playing and watching attacking football, like both Arsenal and Barcelona play, I’m not leaving Arsenal.
Int: Quite, I think we’ve cleared that up…
Cesc: Still not leaving Arsenal.
Int: uhhh…

etc.

Samir Nasri week ends with a bang

It’s been Nasri week over at the dot com owing to the fact that he was voted fourth best player of the season in their poll. To wrap up the week, the powers that be have granted us all a free video in great quality, not that crappy YouTube stuff, of his greatest moment of the season. Walk, don’t run, over to the site and check it out.

Only a few days left to WIN an ARSENAL 89 T-SHIRT


‘It’s Up for Grabs Now’…… And the rest is Arsenal history! Brian Moore’s match commentary as Michael Thomas puts away the goal that clinched the ’89 League Championship in arguably Arsenal’s greatest ever match is featured on Philosophy Football’s anniversary shirt. Plus, a diagram of the winning goal and match details. Available from www.philosophyfootball.com we have 5 to be won in our competition, to enter simply answer the following simple question:

Liverpool v Arsenal, 26 May 1989, name the two goalscorers.

Send answer, name, address and preferred T-shirt size to admin@philosophyfootball.com Entries close 30 June ’09, no purchase necessary to enter.