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Fabregas gives an interview, the Sun is there: everyone panic

It is the official policy of 7amkickoff.com and its affiliates to never, never ever, under any circumstance link to any article published in The Sun. This is because The Sun is a steaming pile of Tottenham. There’s tabloid journalism and then there’s The Sun, the paper which defined tabloid journalism. The “paper” which to this day is an open sore on the anus of society.

So, why, THE FUCK, are people reading their interview with Cesc Fabregas and getting all stoopid?

It’s incredible, really. Just 13 days ago, the Sun printed a direct quote from the man saying that he’s not leaving. Then on the 17th, there’s the official denial from the Captain on the dot com. No door had been opened here folks, Cesc Fabregas is NOT leaving for Real Madrid.

Nor had he said anything different than what he has said all summer: he’s frustrated that Arsenal haven’t won anything, he wants the boss to sign some big name players, he’s not leaving, Phil Brown is a convicted liar, he’s not leaving, he’s frustrated that he hasn’t won anything, but he knows that this team has a lot of potential and is ready to break out into something really big.

So, can we just stop? I know that it’s a certain personality that becomes an Arsenal supporter, but for once, just put down all of your nueroses, all of your “I KNOW WHAT’S BEST/WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING” bullshiat and just look at the story rationally. And you can start by reading the translated quotes here.

Fabregas is not going anywhere.

Full stop.

USA! USA! USA!

I love it when I’m right.

Well, I was partially right. As someone pointed out yesterday, Cesc will probably play in Sunday’s consolation match, which means that he doesn’t get to go home and get started on his vacation and be all rested before training camp kicks off. Oh well.

I taped the match in high def (thanks to ESPN) and it looked amazing. I can’t wait for ESPN to broadcast EPL games in HD next year.*

Also, is it my imagination or did the USA play an 8-0-2? I mean, they looked downright Bolton-esque in that win didn’t they? That’s a lot of fun to watch, isn’t it?

Given their tactical deficiencies and utter lack of talent I doubt they will be able to pull off another win against Brazil on Sunday (assuming Brazil can beat South Africa today!) but who knows . After all, international football is probably the most suceptible to the “smash and grab” tactics of teams like Bolton, owing to the facts that the international squads practice together so rarely and that tournaments are one and done. I mean, if they played a best of 5 or even a best of 3 Spain would win, I have no doubt.

Spain would win because Cesc looked great out there; running his ass off, putting in long balls, short balls, chips, easy passes, inch perfect passes, good tackles, man marking, basically everything he wasn’t doing well for Arsenal last year. And if he had a world class striker on the pitch, like Eduardo, Spain would have won 2 or even 3 to nil. Instead he had the world’s most overrated goal poacher on the pitch, who basically made a hash of every Fabregas pass. A guy who requires 30 some shots to get 3 goals! A guy who puts more shots wide than on target! A man… hey… like Adebayor! Let’s break the bank and bring him in!

When you have a second you should go to FIFA’s web site and look at their comical “Castrol Index” this is the index that gives Felipe Melo a ranking of 8th in the tournament and, despite the fact that Cesc has two assists and a goal, gives Fabregas a ranking of 52nd. All you need to know is that they ranked David Villa over Fernando Torres, but hey, whatever.

Adebayor

Milan is supposedly interested in Arsenal’s David Villa. Meh…

*while this is speculation it at least has a kernel of truth, which the ‘Cesc thinks Arsenal sucks and is leaving for Real Madrid’ stories do not.

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who talked to Vermaelen about signing for Arsenal last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

7amkickoff Exclusive!

I can exclusively report that Arsenal have confirmed a friendly against Hannover Fist on July 29th. This means that we are less than two months away from the return of real football!

7amkickoff two-xclusive!

7am kickoff has heard from a reliable source that Zlatan Ibrahimovich is a cunt! My source says that Zlatan said the following about Arsenal:

Just look at Arsenal. They don’t buy the best players, which is sad, very sad for their supporters, they pay a lot of money for a season ticket just to see a junior team. That can’t be fun.

Did Inter even play in Europe last year? Oh wait, they did, and they were knocked out of the competition in the first round, after barely squeaking into the knockout competition, coming in second in their group to Panathinaikos — a Greek team, who don’t even have a league, they play against goats with wine bottles as the ball.

Oh, and Zlatan, we don’t buy the best players, we get them the old fashioned way, we make them.

Speaking of Transfers

There’s no actual transfer news, of course, but rumor has it that Arsenal are on the verge of signing Vermaelen, which you all already know.

Meanwhile, the World’s Least Reliable Newspaper is reporting that AC Milan is wanting to sign one of our children, Adebayor, for £15m. Coincidentally, that offer is exactly £12 for every offside that Adebayor was guilty of this season.

Mean-meanwhile, Arsenal are reportedly closing in on the signature of soon to be rumored (I’m starting it right now) Arsenal player, Lucas Neill. This happened because a) I just made it up and b) he rejected a new offer from West Ham. Arsenal like Neill because he is reportedly 7 months younger than Silvestre, and as Zlatan has pointed out Arsenal are nothing if not a youth team.

On the other hand, it is possible that Arsenal are not in for Lucas Neill and are instead interested in Gary Cahill. Supposedly, this is because Brede Hangeland is refusing our £8m bid. The only problem with this story is that Bolton are asking £20m, which is completely retarded, and I mean that in a very negative way.

Wait, new information has just come in and it seems that Gary Cahill once played for Villa and put in a stunning bicycle kick which relegated one of my least favorite teams in the world, Birmingham City.

£20m is a steal.

Last but not least, stop me if you’ve heard this one…

The USA National team went down 3-1 to Costa Rica in World Cup qualifying. To some people this isn’t funny.

Ade to Milan, Xabi to Arsenal, Barry to Arsenal, and Cesc to Real/Barca. No, this is not a repeat of summer 2008

It’s going to be a scorcher here, 80 some degrees (Fahrenheit) and I think I might get the motorcycle out. That seems like a nice way to kick off the Transfer season.

A couple of things before we get into the “news.” First off, you should look for me to migrate the site to my actual dot com site this summer. This might mean a week off from blogging. Maybe less, we’ll see.

Second, I appreciate everyone who voted yesterday. The turnout was pretty good and the winner, with 89 votes, is Eduardo’s cheeky side footer against Burnley.

I’ve said it before, but a 100% healthy Eduardo is key to success next season because as that video shows he’s just a top, top class striker. If you think back to the end of the 05/06 season, it was pretty clear that Arsenal’s new style of play needed a poacher. It took him two years and the loss of Titi, but finally Wenger went out and got one. And all Dudu did in his first year was score 8 goals in 19 starts. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that if he gets a good run next year 20 goals is achievable.

Fingers crossed!

You know how I know this is meaningless?

Evidently, Arsenal came in third place in the “Fair Play League.” I’ve followed this particular stat for a few years and always thought this meant something, I mean, add up reds and yellows and viola you get a pretty fair representation of a team’s play, right? Well, it turns out that the “Barclays Fair Play League” has all kinds of stupid, subjective, crapola like “positive play” and “respect for referees.”

And there’s Chelsea, above Arsenal.

lol.

Yeah, right, I watched quite a few Chelsea matches this season and there is no way that team should be above Arsenal in “fair play.”

Rehashing 2008′s transfer stories.

As a subscriber to Fark.com, I’m used to seeing stupid news stories. I’m even used to seeing repeats, it’s one thing you can guarantee from the press; they will repeat stories until people catch on to what they are doing. But I’m not used to having 4 repeats of 4 Arsenal transfer stories pop up on the same day; Ade to Milan, Cesc has targeted Alonso, Barry is a target for Arsenal, and then there’s the ubiquitous “Cesc to Spain” story. Strange indeed.

Oh well, since this Alonso/Barry story is a repeat of last year, I went back and looked at what I said about this last year — if they can repeat, why can’t I? Enjoy.

I’ll bet if Silvestre stays healthy he will be seen by Gooners as yet another master stroke by the boss (I just HAD to include this little gem, who is the dumbass who writes this blog? DOES HE EVEN WATCH SOCCER???)

Meanwhile, the boss was more circumspect with his statements about Barry/Alosno.  I’m lumping both players together here because, they are both 27, both play midfield, both are cup tied, both are Arsenal targets and both players fit Arsene’s quotes.  Thus, I consider Arsene to be chasing both players and whichever one we get, I think Arsenal fans will be happy.  I’d prefer Alonso because I think he’s a technically superior player, he’s Spanish, and he would fit right into the Arsenal midfield.  On the other hand, Barry would bring steel and English-ness to the team, and let’s not let the importance of having Englishmen on the team fall to the way side.  Rumor has it Arsenal have already negotiated a contract with Alonso but Liverpool is refusing to lower their value of the player at £18m, even though, as Arsene points out he’s cup tied.  Villa, similarly, are stuck with their £18m valuation since they have already turned down a lesser bid from Liverpool.  I suppose they could offer Arsenal the player for less, but wouldn’t that allow Liverpool the same chance to swoop for the player that Arsenal just did for Silvestre?

More importantly for me is I don’t get the sense that Barry wants to play for Arsenal.  No.  He wants to play for Liverpool, you know, to “fulfill his dream.”  I think Barry is a smokescreen.  Arsenal are in for Alonso and Alonso only.  We’ll just have to wait and see.  Just the other day I was preparing you all for a summer with no more signings and now here I am hopeful that the team will sign the one player I wanted all summer — starry eyed optimist that I am.

I really wish that the cocksandwich who wrote that crap above at least watched some soccer.

That’s it for today, I’ve got to get the bike up and running and get to work. See you later!