Tag Archives: Chelsea v. Arsenal

Mr. Arsenal

Arsenal’s lack of effort and personality make it easy for Atkinson to gift Chelsea a win

If Arsenal were playing in “rarefied air” by beating Swansea in the FA Cup with a full-blooded effort on Wednesday, they fell back down to earth with a wet thwap by putting in a limp performance in the 2-1 loss to Chelsea at the Bridge on Sunday.

The score line flattered the visitors as Chelsea never really seemed bothered by the Arsenal, despite conceding a goal to a very lively Theo Walcott in the 58th minute. Chelsea always seemed to have something in reserve and any time the North Londoners started to smolder, the Blues put their embers out.

Case in point about having something in reserve, Chelsea brought on Demba Ba in the 81st minute and he almost immediately scored a goal. A ball over the top from the Chelsea midfield played Ba in past Arsenal’s limp attempt at an offside trap. Inexplicably, Szczesny came rushing out to meet Ba and left the goal gaping when Ba easily beat him. Only the hustle of Thomas Vermaelen to get back into goal and clear Ba’s shot off the line saved Arsenal from blushes.

Meanwhile Arsenal, a goal down and in need of the same type of spark Ba provided Chelsea, brought on Andrei Arshavin. His first appearance in nearly a month and a half. Arshavin’s immediate impact was to lose control of the ball for a goal kick.

Prior to Arshavin’s cameo, Arsenal’s only goal came from a nearly solitary moment of brilliance on the part of the Gunners. Walcott had been giving Ashley Cole fits for most of the second half, drawing the former Arsenal man to serially foul him in and around the Chelsea penalty box. So when Vermaelen tackled the ball away from Fernando Torres, Walcott started to make a run, and it was obvious that Cazorla would play the ball through to him. Blazing past Cole and with Ivanovich bearing down on him, Theo wrong-footed the keeper and scored on Cech’s near post.

It was a case of leaving it all too late to recover because it was the first half where Chelsea won the game. Arsenal conceded 60% of possession in that first half and yet only attempted 12 tackles (making 7). Chelsea, meanwhile, whenever they lost the ball fought to win it back, attempting 18 tackles in the first half (making 12). In the second half, Chelsea conceded 60% of possession to Arsenal and attempted 20 tackles (making 14) and Arsenal tried 12 tackles (making 11). Despite the disparity in possession, Arsenal never really got stuck in to win the ball back in the first half, leading to Jack Wilshere raising his arms as if to say “what the fuck guys?”

Mr. Arsenal

Playing poorly and having referee decisions go against you are not mutually exclusive conditions, though for some reason people look to only one or the other to blame for Chelsea’s win. Referee Martin Atkinson got a number of calls dead wrong. The first was for a foul on Coquelin which lead to Juan Mata’s opener. The Arsenal midfielder drove straight at Ramirez and made a nice little pass over to Cazorla on his left. The Chelsea man came in hard and late, stomping on Coquelin’s foot with his studs. The replay showed Atkinson looking right at the infraction, yet no foul was called.

And for the second goal, well, Atkinson could possibly be forgiven as the angle was poor but replays showed that Ramirez (again) slipped as he was trying to round Szczesny and kicked out to try to make contact well after he had already started going down. A slip if you’re generous, a dive if you’re not.

But just because the referee is calling the game against you doesn’t excuse a team for playing listlessly. As outlined above, Arsenal didn’t seem interested in putting in the effort to close down on Chelsea when they had the ball. Worse still, Arsenal’s lack of movement isolated players and made it easy for Chelsea to tackle the ball away. Which they did serially on the ball-dawdling Diaby who was dispossessed by Ramirez for Chelsea’s second.

If you needed any further proof that ignoring the referee and simply putting in the effort is the real key, look at the second half. Arsenal were still being treated harshly by Atkinson, as evidenced by the fact that Atkinson let Ramirez (again???) slap Jack Wilshere in the face, as blatant a smack in the face as you will ever see. Yet despite the poor refereeing, it was a second half in which Arsenal put in some effort to win the ball back and looked most likely to score and, in fact, did score.

It’s been true all season that Arsenal have had a difficult time imposing their personality on matches. From 1999-2009 Arsenal enjoyed a decade of dominance in English football, where the name “Arsenal” was synonymous with “beautiful football”. Arsenal and Barcelona were often mentioned as sister teams, both known for their slick passing game and their wonderfully forward-minded football.

In that decade, Arsenal dominated matches by forcing their style on the opponent. It was exceptionally rare for an opposing side to control possession against Arsenal for any amount of time, much less an entire half. But Arsenal now look more like a simulacrum of that greatest of Arsenal sides. Something that if viewed from just the right angle reminds the viewer of that old team but that for large stretches of any game looks like a pile of laces and mud.

And that’s the reality of yesterday’s loss to Chelsea. Sure, we can point to Atkinson’s dreadful officiating and we would be right. But just as much, we need to point to Arsenal’s lack of direction, Arsenal’s lack of effort, and worst of all Arsenal’s lack of any personality yesterday as the more likely culprit in sealing all three points for Chelsea.

But have no fear, Arsechums, the Gunners will bounce right back and probably put on a totally different display against West Ham on Wednesday. Perhaps, the type of match that will wash away the mud for a moment and reveal the Arsenal of old. Perhaps, they will be a long-ball team, why not? Or perhaps Arsenal will come out and tackle the grass right off the pitch. No one knows, because if there’s anything that anyone can say for certain about this Arsenal team, it’s that it seems to suffer from multiple-personality disorder.

Qq

Rectum? He nearly Killed em!

Chelsea v. Arsenal: polar opposites

Arsenal and Chelsea couldn’t be more polar opposites: Arsenal is a North London team, Chelsea South; Arsenal were formed in 1886, Chelsea were formed in 2003; Arsenal put blood, sweat and tears into a brand new stadium, Chelsea have a dump because their owner doesn’t care about the infrastructure; Arsenal have had the same manager (Arsene Wenger) for 16 years, Chelsea have had 16 managers since 2003; Arsenal have made hundreds of millions in the transfer market, Chelsea have spent hundreds of millions in the transfer market; Arsenal have interns, Chelsea shoot their interns with a pellet gun; Arsenal’s captain is a family man, Chelsea’s captain likes to date other men’s families; and Arsenal are excited that they just signed a young English prospect to a new contract, Chelsea are excited that they just extended an old Arsenal player’s contract.

But Arsenal and Chelsea are also similar: both clubs want to be Arsenal; they both play an attacking brand of football popularized by Arsenal; both clubs use Arsenal’s scouts to find talent; both Arsenal and Chelsea have 7 letters in their name; and both Arsenal and Chelsea charge away fans over £60 for a ticket.

But if you’ve been in anything other than a persistent vegetative state for the last 10 years, you already know all this.

Rectum? He nearly Killed em!

In fact, I’ve written about this Arsenal-Chelsea match so many times, and said the same things so many times, that… well, what’s left to say? How much has the story changed over the last 4 years? The answer is very little. They generally have a better team, as you would expect when they buy the best players, and they have generally challenged for the Premier League title, which Arsenal haven’t done. The story has been the same so often that last season was the first time that Arsenal finished above Chelsea since 2006.

But still, it’s an important game for both teams, for different reasons. Arsenal are in a rebuilding phase and Chelsea are about to undergo one, I suspect.

Just coming off a decent win over Swansea in the FA Cup, the young Gunners need to start building some momentum if they are going to finish in the Champions League places this year. With the Premier League awash with money, there’s a lot of competition for the top four spots. An Arsenal win tomorrow will fire the Gunners all the way into fifth place, just three points off Tottenham and with a game in hand.

We also know that Chelsea’s home form is poor owing at least partially to the fact that the Chelsea supporters hate the new manager Rafa Benitez. Despite having an owner who buys them any player they could ever want and who has amassed more trophies in the last 10 years than they had in all their history before that, the home crowd has taken to booing Benitez. Just because. They don’t like him.

Benitez in return will be desperate for a good home win but will his team feel the same way? This is a Chelsea team with a history of throwing the manager under the bus. A big loss tomorrow would surely see Abramovich wield his managerial axe.

The referee is Martin Atkinson and he has the distinction of having refereed the last match between these two teams — Arsenal’s 2-1 loss back in September. It’s very rare to see a referee get the same match twice in the same season so I’m sure this will be mentioned. What won’t be mentioned is that Atkinson is quick with the red card and awarding penalties. Arsenal need to be fully alert for the 90 minutes to avoid pulling a Koscielny.

Regardless of the outcome, I just ask one thing from the Arsenal; that they give everything like they did against Swansea in the FA Cup. If Chelsea are better, so be it, but at least get in their faces and give Chelsea a game.

Kickoff is 5:30am. By the Numbers will be posted on Arseblog before 10am local time.

Up the Gunners.

Qq

Giroud looks releived, like a man who had been waiting for an hour to take a piss at an open air festival

Arsenal v. Chelsea: a bucket full

Who: Arsenal v. Chelsea
What: English Premier League matchday 6
Where: Ashburton Grove, North London, UK
When: 4:30am PST
Referee: Martin Atkinson
TV: ESPN2 HD (USA)
Announcers: Probably Ian Darke and that Liverpool guy who doesn’t like Arsenal much (Steve McManaman)

I hardly think I need to remind anyone, even new Arsenal supporters, that Chelsea Football Club are the scum of the earth. Every component of the whole that comprises Chelsea FC is rotten; the owner has corrupted the very fabric of sport in England — artificially raising the prices other teams pay for transfers and for player salaries, the players are dirty cheats who are captained by a man found guilty of racially abusing another player but who will still play tomorrow as he mulls over an appeal, their fans are horrible people who think that self same John Terry is a “national treasure”, and even their twitter account reads like it’s written by a Yob.

Chelsea are the exact opposite of Arsenal. We are their nemesis and when we beat them, it’s the rightful embodiment of divine justice. That’s why it felt so good to win 5-3 at their hovel last season.

It’s all come full circle for Chelsea. Prior to the match last October, Terry was embroiled in accusations that he racially abused Anton Ferdinand. He played anyway and I have to think that decision would haunt him, if he were a man with a conscience. The Stamford Bridge faithful before the match waived banners supporting their hero. And when he scored off a corner on the death of the first half, the crowd erupted with glee at the prodigal son returned.

And the match went back and forth with first Santos equalizing at 2-2 and then Theo taking the lead with a powerful run through several fouls. Then Lukaku threw Santos to the ground after a loose pass from the Arsenal fullback and there was no call. Unmarked, Juan Mata made it 3-3 with a wondergoal from 30 yards.

But then there was a simple back pass and John Terry pretended to slip (at least that’s what it looked like to some) because he knew he would be beaten to the ball by Robin van Persie. Robin rounded the keeper and put the ball in the net. If I were to signal any one point, I think that was the beginning of the end of Terry’s career. Since then he has seen a steady decline in playing ability culminating in what looked like intentionally having himself sent off in the Champions League semi-final so that he wouldn’t have to play in the championship game.

And now Arsenal host Chelsea and this week John Terry has been found guilty by the FA for his racist abuse last year. And again he will play despite the looming 4 match ban. You have to wonder what kind of sociopath could not only play football through that, but play in one of his team’s biggest games of the year.

John Terry is the face of that team, the captain, and the first name on the team sheet. He epitomizes the club, the fans, and the owner. John Terry is Mr. Chelsea. And that’s why beating them is so fun. Because they are bucket of cunts.

So while Chelsea are come full circle and are back under the cloud of racism as should happen with their nemesis, there’s a new and more positive energy about Arsenal.

Steve Bould has the players all talking about defense. Wenger even admitted that the system he plays doesn’t need a defensive midfielder because defense is (suddenly) everyone’s responsibility. Though I would argue Arteta is still the most defensive midfielder in the team.

Podolski is giving interviews where he says things like “I hope to play with Cazorla for the next four years”. And Cazorla is making people forget about the traces of Barcelona DNA that are still left in the shower.

Arsenal’s defense have only let in four goals, Gervinho is scoring goals playing as center forward, Olivier Giroud got his first goal against Coventry, and even Theo Walcott scored a brace. It’s a good time to be an Arsenal supporter and despite the fact that Chelsea are going to be our toughest test of the season so far, there’s a good feeling about the team and the club.

So, put away the stats for a moment. Put down the financial reports. Ignore the history. Forget about Martin Atkinson. There’s going to be high drama tomorrow at 4:30am and time enough to analyze everything to death after the game.

Qq